The Assault
by ColHogan
Summary: After Hogan, Kinch and Newkirk plant explosives, the men are spotted by an SS patrol. While Kinch and Newkirk escape, Hogan is captured by the four guards who hand out their own brand of torture. WARNING:This story contains a non-explicit adult theme.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This in my first attempt at a story which deals with the touchy subject of male rape and it's effect on one of our Heroes and those he works with. I will try to be realistic yet keep the story believable. For those of you who read it, I hope you enjoy. And for those who don't, or it's not your thing, I understand. I also want to thank Bits and Pieces for her assistance in reviewing these chapters and helping me stay on track with this story.

**Warning: **This first chapter contains a scene that is not too explicit.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any part of Hogan's Heroes nor its characters. But I do own the DVD collection and enjoy watching them.

**The Assault**

**Chapter 1**

"That should do the job," Colonel Robert Hogan said as he finished planting the last of the explosives along the bottom of the bridge he, Kinch and Newkirk were to blow up tonight. He then got to his feet and motioned for the others to follow him back to camp. They had only gotten a few feet when they heard it.

"Halt!" shouted a voice. Hogan's blood froze. The voice belonged to a German. He glanced at the others.

"Split up and run!" he ordered. The three men raced away and split up a few minutes later, bullets whizzing past their heads. They returned fire in the direction of the sound of voices, footsteps and gunfire.

As Hogan ran, he suddenly yelped as a burning sensation struck his leg causing him to lose his balance and fall sprawling on the ground, his weapon flying from his hand. As he started to get to his feet, he froze at hearing the cocking of a rifle and felt it pressing against the base of his skull.

"Don't move or I will blow your brains out, swine!" the guard with the rifle pressed against his head ordered.

"Wouldn't think of it," Hogan replied, not moving. He suddenly heard three more rifles being cocked and felt them being aimed at him. One of the guards put a boot on the small of his back. Hogan's only thought was hoping that Newkirk and Kinch made it back to camp.

"Well, well, look what we have here, Fritz," one of the others said, his speech slightly slurred. Reaching down, he grabbed a fist full of Hogan's thick black hair and jerked his head backward so he could look into his eyes. "Looks like we have ourselves either a spy or a saboteur. I wonder which he is?"

The guard holding the rifle against Hogan's head looked at Fritz. "Henrik, we don't have any handcuffs. We turned them in at headquarters before leaving for the day."

"Doesn't matter," said Henrik with a grin. "We can use his belt to tie his arms behind him. See to it will you, Fritz."

Fritz knelt down beside Hogan and reaching under him, managed to unbuckle his belt and pull it off. He then roughly jerked Hogan's arms behind him, overlapped his wrists and proceeded to wrap his belt around them before looping the belt tightly through the buckle. Hogan winced as the leather began cutting into his flesh from being so tight. Then Fritz roughly seized Hogan by one arm and jerked him to his feet. He spun him around so he could look Hogan in the face. He noticed the black grease smeared on the Colonel's face. He smirked. "We have a pretty face here, Henrik. A very pretty face." Seizing a fist full of Hogan's windbreaker and turtleneck under it, he pulled him close. The Colonel smelled the beer on his breath and knew at least two of the guards had been drinking; he wasn't certain about the other two. "What do we do with this pretty face boy?" he said looking at Henrik and the others.

"You could let me go," Hogan suggested sweetly. "I was only out for an evening stroll anyway."

Henrik chuckled. "We have a funny man here. Shall we show him what we do with funny men?" Then, without warning, he jammed his rifle butt into Hogan's abdomen causing the Colonel to bend over in pain having the breath knocked out of him. He then felt a fist connect with his jaw sending his sprawling across a fallen tree lying nearby landing on his stomach. One of the guards again rested a boot on the Colonel's back, pinning him where he fell.

"Henrik, that isn't what we do with comedians," Fritz said still slurring his words.

"It isn't? Then why don't you show me what we do." Henrik watched Fritz unbutton and remove his topcoat and toss it on the ground beside his rifle.

Hogan, believing he was about to be executed, said a silent prayer and turned his head expecting to see the muzzle of a rifle aimed at him. Instead, what he saw not only shocked but horrified him as he immediately realized what was about to happen.

_These guys can't be serious! _he thought to himself as he stared at the guard closest to him.

He saw the guard named Fritz standing over him unfastening his trousers.

* * *

Hogan bit his lower lip until it bled and kept his eyes squeezed shut as the abuse continued. So far it had been only Fritz. And now the guard named Henrik was having at him. Hogan refused to cry out in pain from the attack. He refused to give them the satisfaction. But the pain was unbearable as well as humiliating. He wished he could just get his hands free he'd teach them a lesson they'd never forget for torturing him this way. _The bastards! _he told himself in silent anger. He felt as if he was being torn apart. He only hoped he would survive long enough to get his hands on these four and repay them for this humiliation and dehumanizing attack being inflicted on his person.(1)

Finally, Henrik was done. He got up and looked at the oldest of the guards. "Your turn, Reinhold," he said taking the man's rifle and pointing it at Hogan. Henrik knelt down in front of the American. Through his tears of both pain and rage, Hogan managed a look at the guard. He saw a smirk appear. "Enjoying yourself, swine?" he asked with a chuckle. He saw Hogan grit his teeth from Reinhold's assault. "Nein? Well, we must make sure you do." He looked up for a moment at Reinhold. "Reinhold, our friend here is not enjoying himself. And seeing as he asked for it, we must see he at least gets some pleasure from it. See what you and Hans can do to accommodate our friend here." Before he stood up Henrik caught a cunningly evil smile on Reinhold's face.

Hogan gritted his teeth from the pain as Reinhold seemed to increase the intensity of his assault by digging his fingers painfully into Hogan's shoulders. A handkerchief was then viciously shoved in his mouth gagging him. The abuse from Reinhold continued for what seemed like forever. Then he heard a voice.

"Hurry up, Reinhold. I want to put the finishing touches on our comedian! I want him to never forget his enjoyable experience!"

The pain, to Hogan, ranked up there with the worst pain he had ever endured as a prisoner. _If only I could get my hands free, _he told himself, _after I made them stop I would make them all pay! All of them! If I could just get loose!_ As Reinhold continued his assault, Hogan strained to free his hands from the belt binding his arms behind him. His quickly realized his struggle to free himself only excited Reinhold more causing him to dig his fingers more into his shoulders as the guard intensified his assault on him. Slowly, Hogan's pain and rage increased. He embarrassingly felt his body shudder in response to the assault on it. He felt so ashamed of himself for not being able to maintain control on top of his pain and rage.

* * *

Kinch and Newkirk met up about a mile from the tree stump. They looked around nervously; but all was quiet and still.

"You seen the Gov'nor?" Newkirk asked Kinch.

"No. Have you?"

Newkirk shook his head. "You don't suppose they caught him, do you?"

"I hope not. But there's no way to be sure unless we go look for him."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Newkirk as he started off, but stopped when he felt Kinch's hand on his arm. "What?"

"We're gonna need help. We'd better return to camp and get LeBeau and Carter to go with us."

"Kinch, there's no time! The Colonel could be in trouble! And every minute we waste returning to camp means that much longer the Krauts have the Gov'nor!"

"Don't you think I know that! But the two of us against who knows how many Krauts won't help the Colonel. Now let's go!"

With a glance over his shoulder, Newkirk reluctantly followed Kinch back to camp.

* * *

Three of the guards stood watching as Hans now assaulted the American. They laughed and egged him on which forced him to intensify his assault as well by also digging his fingers into Hogan's already painful shoulders. Hans chuckled at the American's apparent pain and discomfort. He smirked having watched the American's reaction with Reinhold symbolize their complete sexual control over him. He continued digging his fingers painfully into Hogan's shoulders which the Colonel felt even through his windbreaker. He hurt all over, especially from the waist down. He couldn't believe this was happening to him.

_You're all dead men!_ Hogan told himself._ I will kill every one of you bastards! God help you! _as he fought unsuccessfully to free his arms from their restraint. As he couldn't, he mercifully passed out soon afterward from the pain.

Finally, after what again seemed like an eternity, Hans was finished. Getting to his feet, he refastened his trousers and with the others stood and looked down at the man they had each violently assaulted.

"Should we shoot him now, Henrik?" asked Reinhold eagerly.

Henrik looked at the unconscious man on the ground. Kneeling down, he pulled up Hogan's trousers but left them unfastened. "We must leave the comedian looking neat," he smirked. "And yes. A bullet to the head is just what he needs. I don't think we should take a chance he wouldn't tell what happened. He has supplied us not only with entertainment, but allowed us to express our own power and control over his kind. Let's finish him off now and then go. All this has made me hungry. Come, after disposing of him, we will go into town and have some dinner."

The four men picked up their weapons and talked about who it would be that would have the pleasure of putting a bullet in Hogan's head. But first, they had a good laugh at the total domination of the American.

* * *

Kinch led the way through the woods with Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter behind him. They were all armed with pistols.

"How much further, Kinch?" asked LeBeau. "If the Colonel got away, don't you think we should have run into him by now?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Kinch replied continuing on. He didn't want to admit he was afraid that his commanding officer may have been captured and taken to either SS or Gestapo headquarters. He was also afraid if it was Gestapo headquarters and Hochstetter found out, he would have all the proof he needed that the Colonel was connected to the underground.

Just then, the men heard voices up ahead. Kinch motioned for the others to be quiet and get down. They all crouched low in the bushes. Kinch strained to see what was in front of them.

"What is it?" Newkirk whispered.

"Four SS guards," Kinch replied whispering. "There's also someone lying face-down on top of a downed tree. I can't see who it is though."

"Is it the Colonel?" asked LeBeau, frightened more than before at hearing the SS had somebody on the ground.

Suddenly they heard moaning. Kinch noticed Newkirk about to reply when he heard the soft sound again. This time the others looked at Kinch.

"That sounds like the Colonel," LeBeau remarked, now angry and scared.

* * *

Henrik, hearing the moaning, glanced down at the now semi-conscious man. "Reinhold, as you haven't had the pleasure yet, I will let you put a bullet in the American's head." He stepped out of the way as Reinhold picked up his rifle and checked it. He took off the safety and aimed the muzzle at Hogan's head, his finger on the trigger. The Colonel slowly turned his head sideways, bracing for the shot which would end his life. It was then that Kinch got a look at his features in the moonlight; his eyes widened in terror. "Oh my God!" Kinch uttered in shock. "It's the Colonel!" He hurried forward with the others behind him. Kinch fired at the guard who had his rifle aimed at Hogan's head while the others, in shock, turned and ran into the woods. Reinhold was dead before he hit the ground from a bullet in the head. LeBeau and Carter pursued the other three while Newkirk and Kinch stayed with their commanding officer. Kinch unbuckled the belt binding Hogan's wrists and noticed they were bloody. He then gently turned the Colonel onto his back and removed the gag from his mouth.

"Colonel. Colonel Hogan. Are you hurt, sir?" asked Kinch, frightened.

Hogan's eyes fluttered open. He recognized Kinch holding him. "Help…me…hurt…"

"Where are you hurt, Colonel? I don't see any blood on you."

"He's been shot in the leg, mate," the Englander replied. "There's a bloody hole in the right pants leg."

Carter and LeBeau dejectedly rejoined them. Kinch and Newkirk looked around. "Well?" Kinch asked them.

"They got away, mon ami," LeBeau replied, annoyed. "But they were SS. No doubt about it."

"How's the Colonel?" asked Carter softly.

"He's been shot in the leg," Newkirk replied. "That and the blood on his wrists from having them bound too tightly with his belt are the only injuries we could find."

A moan was heard. As the men watched, they saw Hogan wince from the pain he was feeling. "More…pain…hurt…"

Both Kinch and Newkirk suddenly sensed their commanding officer was in more pain than could be expected from a simple bullet wound and injured wrists. It was then Kinch felt Newkirk's hand on his arm. He looked at the Englander.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Kinch, they used the Gov'nor's belt to bind his arms behind him. "But why is the button on his waistband undone, then?"

Kinch's eyes followed Newkirk's to the waistband of Hogan's trousers. The undone button on the Colonel's waistband caused Kinch to bite his lower lip as his anger festered if what he thought had happened had indeed happened.

Carter and LeBeau exchanged confused and frightened looks. "What is it, Kinch? What did they do to the Colonel?" asked LeBeau.

Kinch glanced at Newkirk whose rage was boiling. Then, he looked over his shoulder at Carter and the Frenchman, anger burning in his eyes. LeBeau put a hand over his mouth as it dawned on him as to what Kinch and Newkirk suspected.

"Mon Dieu!" was all the Frenchman uttered.

"What?" asked Carter, confused. "I don't get it."

"Carter!" Newkirk began rolling his eyes in exasperation. "I hope to God I'm wrong. But if I'm not, those three bastards who got away are gonna pay and pay dearly for what they did."

"What did they do?" Carter asked still not getting it.

"I'd rather not say until Wilson's had a chance to check the Gov'nor for injuries," Newkirk explained in as gentle a tone as possible. He didn't want to terrify Carter with what he suspected had been done to their commanding officer. Carter was an innocent, and had probably never been exposed to this kind of thing, and it would be best if he was protected from the knowledge there were people who did this kind of thing to other people.

"Kinch…" Hogan murmured.

The radioman turned his attention to the Colonel. "What is it, sir?"

"…Fritz…Henrik…Rein…hold…Hans…don't tell…hurt…so bad…"

"It's okay, Colonel. We killed one of them. The others got away, but we'll find them. Right now we have to get you back to camp so Wilson can check you out. Can you at least stand up?"

"Don't think so…no…pain…so much…pain…"

Tucking his weapon into the waistband of his trousers, Kinch looked at LeBeau. "Louie, see if there's any identification on that bastard over there."

"Oui. Right away." The Frenchman hurried to where Reinhold's body lay, a bloody circle in the center of his forehead. Avoiding looking at it, LeBeau hastily went through the dead Kraut's pockets before finding his wallet. Opening it, he glanced at the identification before tucking it inside his pants pocket. He rejoined the others. "Filthy Bosche's name is, or was, Reinhold Mueller."

Hearing the dead man's name brought memories of the assault back to Hogan's mind. He whimpered from the pain the memory brought to him. Both the pain and the shame he now felt.

Kinch, getting on one knee, gently scooped Hogan up and cradled him in his strong arms despite the whimpering from the injured officer. Kinch hated causing the Colonel any additional pain, but it couldn't be helped. "I'll be as gentle as I can, Colonel," he said allowing Hogan's head to lay against his chest with closed eyes. Nobody noticed that Hogan had since passed out.

* * *

(1) Gang rape is more common in cases involving male than female victims. It is also considered the ultimate form of punishment. Male rape goes as far back as the Vikings who raped male captives to establish their dominance over them.

Germans were prohibited from raping male prisoners by the Nuremberg Race Laws of 1938 as it would be considered a sign of homosexuality and punishable by sterilization. But some Germans did it anyway despite the risk of the harsh punishment they could suffer if found out. Also, during WW2, Soviet soldiers sexually assaulted male German POWs and vice versa.

Prior to that, they were bound by the German Military Laws against the sexual assault on male captives.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Reaching the tree stump, Kinch lay the now unconscious Hogan down behind the emergency exit and looked at LeBeau.

"Louie, go below and then to barracks twelve. Get Wilson and have him meet us in the barracks. Tell him Colonel Hogan's been hurt, but that I need to speak with him before he examines the Colonel. Now go. We'll be right behind you."

"Oui. Right away," the Frenchman replied. Once the searchlight from the guard tower passed by them, LeBeau raised the lid of the tree stump and disappeared below, closing the lid behind him.

Kinch then looked at Carter and Newkirk. "I want both of you to go below next. I'll need both of you to handle the Colonel when I lower him down. Then wait for me." The searchlight passed by again. "Okay, go!"

Carter and Newkirk both hurried forward and disappeared below leaving Kinch with the Colonel. After they were gone, Kinch gazed at his commanding officer and gently brushed a loose strand of dark hair from his face. "Colonel, I am so sorry we didn't get there in time to stop them from hurting you. I'll never forgive myself, sir." Kinch bit his lower lip. "Never." He waited until the searchlight passed back in his direction again and went by. Then, he gently cradled Hogan in his arms and hurried forward. Being careful, he managed to raise the lid of the tree stump and ease the Colonel down holding onto one arm and into the waiting arms below of Carter and Newkirk. He quickly followed, closing the lid.

Once below, Kinch again took the Colonel in his arms and with the others behind him, hurried forward to the ladder leading up into the barracks above. Reaching it, he looked at Carter. "Go on up, Carter," he explained. "Then wait by the tunnel opening. We're gonna need your help getting the Colonel upstairs and into his quarters." Carter didn't hesitate to do as he was told. Once he was out of sight, Kinch and Newkirk exchanged knowing looks.

"Mate, do you really think those bastards who got away did what we think they did to the Colonel?"

"I'm praying we're wrong, Newkirk. But I have this nagging fear we're not." He saw Carter and LeBeau waiting up above. Glancing over his shoulder again, he kept his voice low. "And if we're not wrong. There's gonna be hell to pay."

"Bloody right there, mate. And I can guarantee you, a bullet in the head will look like an act of kindness."

"Okay, Newkirk. Take the Colonel's arm and start up the ladder. I'll be right behind holding onto him as well."

"Right." Newkirk tucked his weapon into his waistband and grabbing one of Hogan's arms, started up the ladder with Kinch close behind him. It took a few minutes, but they eventually got Hogan inside the barracks where Carter gently gripped him under his arms and Kinch and Carter held him by one leg each. As he climbed up into the barracks, Kinch saw Wilson who went to Hogan's side immediately.

"Take him into his quarters so I can examine him," he ordered grimly. As the men carefully carried Hogan to his quarters, Wilson approached Kinch. "LeBeau said you wanted to speak with me before I examine Colonel Hogan."

"Yeah, I do. And keep your voice down, Joe. What I have to ask you is serious." Glancing around, Kinch made sure nobody was within hearing range. Satisfied, he turned his attention back to Wilson. "Joe, when you examine the Colonel, I need you to check on something Newkirk and I suspect might have been done to him that's not obvious at first."

"Sure. What is it?" Wilson asked becoming alarmed now.

Kinch brought his mouth close to the medic's ear. "Newkirk and I suspect the Colonel may have been sexually assaulted."

"You mean…?" the medic asked with raised eyebrows. He couldn't finish the question.

"That's exactly what I mean. When we found him, his belt had been used to bind his wrists. But we also noticed the button on his trousers had been unfastened as well and he was in more pain than he should be for just having just a bullet wound to his leg and from being bound too tightly. So, could you please check?"

"I definitely will, Kinch. Thanks for telling me. Perhaps you'd better come with me and help. If what you and Newkirk suspect is true, I'm gonna need help examining him to determine if it was done."

"No problem. Let's go," Kinch replied seeing the other three men exiting Hogan's quarters. They headed directly towards them. "Carter, I want you and LeBeau to go below, clean up and change. Newkirk, I need you to wait here in case I need you."

"But mon ami…" LeBeau protested.

Kinch gave him a stern look. "LeBeau, don't argue with me. Go!" His face immediately softened. "I'm sorry. I know you're worried about the Colonel. So am I. Now, please do what I ask you. I've got to help Wilson."

"I am sorry too. Carter and I will be back as soon as we do what you ask." Waving to Carter to follow, the two disappeared below while Newkirk poured a cup of coffee and sat down; he then lit a cigarette and prepared to wait. If anything, his rage was increasing and it was a struggle to keep a tight lid on it. He saw the door to Hogan's quarters close after Kinch and Wilson went inside. He took a drag on his cigarette as he fought to control the anger he felt.

Kinch turned on the lamp on the Colonel's desk as Wilson sat his medical bag on the footlocker. A low moan from the Colonel told them Hogan was beginning to regain consciousness. Wilson knelt down beside the bed. Putting a hand on the Colonel's arm, it didn't surprise him when the Colonel flinched at the touch. It was typical of those who had been assaulted as Hogan supposedly had been.

"Colonel, it's Wilson. Kinch is here with me. Can you hear me, sir?" He put his hand on the Colonel's waist. Hogan began trying to move away from the touch.

"Stop!" he said. "Don't!" He tried to get away from Wilson's touch but stopped because of the agony the action caused.

"What's he talking about?" asked Kinch, frightened.

"He's reliving the assault," the medic explained gently. "Unfortunately, it's common with those who are attacked such as the Colonel may have been." He licked his lips and tried again. "Colonel, you're safe now. You're back in your barracks in your quarters. Nobody can hurt you anymore. But I need to examine you as I understand you were injured. Kinch is with me. He's here to make sure you stay safe. But I must examine you now." Removing a pair of scissors from his medical bag, Wilson cut the leg of Hogan's trousers to enable himself to get to the bullet wound. After examining it, he breathed a sigh of relief. He glanced at Kinch. "The bullet went clean through which is good. After I clean and stitch it closed, I'll wrap it and give him an antibiotic in case of infection. Then I'll look at his wrists."

It took Wilson several minutes to clean and stitch closed the bullet wound. Once that was done, the medic gave Hogan an injection of penicillin and then wrapped the leg. Then, he turned his attention to the Colonel's wrists which, after they'd been cleaned didn't appear as bad as originally believed. Wilson applied an antiseptic salve to both wrists and wrapped them in gauze, applying tape to the end of the wrapping to keep the gauze in place. He looked at Kinch. "Now comes the difficult part. I may need your help Kinch, so stand by."

"Right."

Wilson leaned close to a semi-conscious Hogan. "Colonel, I have to examine you to see if you have other injuries. Just remember, sir, you are back at Stalag 13 and in your barracks in your quarters. Nobody can hurt you anymore. But I do need to examine you. It's important that I do. I promise I won't hurt you." He carefully moved his hands to the waistband of the Colonel's trousers.

"No! I'll kill you!" Hogan muttered as he tried fighting off Wilson. He began struggling with the medic as he felt Wilson's hands on the waistband. Hogan wasn't going to let them assault him again. Not a second time.

Wilson looked at the radioman. "Kinch, pin his arms down! I'll have to sedate him before I can examine him further." He rummaged through his medical bag for what he was looking for while Kinch gently but firmly pinned Hogan's arms against his body. His heart ached seeing the Colonel thrashing about despite the intense pain he was in to try and get away while pleading with his now imaginary assailants to stop and not attack him.

"Joe, hurry up! I don't know how long I can hold him down!"

Wilson, finding the vial and a syringe, quickly filled it. He tore the Colonel's turtleneck at the shoulder and inserted the syringe into his arm injecting the sedative. After a few moments Hogan quieted down and his thrashing stopped. Once he had quieted down and Kinch thought it safe to do so, he released Hogan's arms. He and Wilson looked at each other grimly.

"Okay, Kinch. I'm gonna need your help again," Wilson explained as he reached for the waistband of Hogan's trousers.

* * *

Newkirk still sat at the table smoking when Carter and LeBeau emerged from the tunnel after having changed and cleaned up. They glanced at the closed door of Hogan's quarters and then at the Englander who, having finished his coffee, was now smoking his second cigarette, staring at the table top. They slowly sat down to wait with him.

"Any word yet?" asked a still frightened LeBeau.

Newkirk, not raising his head or speaking, just shook it.

Carter looked from Newkirk to LeBeau and back to Newkirk. "Look, I have a feeling that something's going on here that you guys aren't telling me. And I have a feeling you aren't telling me because you think I can't handle knowing. But where Colonel Hogan's concerned I think I have a right to know. He's my commanding officer and friend too, y'know." He again noticed the Frenchman who had been looking at him while he spoke suddenly turn away. He also noticed his best friend, Peter Newkirk, couldn't look at him; he just continued puffing on his cigarette. "C'mon guys. I'm not a kid. I may not be familiar with a lot of things like you guys and Kinch, but I'm not that naive. I know as well as anybody what some Germans are capable of. I mean, I wasn't born yesterday. I know…" he didn't get to finish as Newkirk raised his eyes and stared at him.

"You're right, Andrew," he replied softly. "You do know as well as the rest of us what some Germans are capable of. And Colonel Hogan is your commanding officer and friend as well."

"And we don't mean to treat you like a child either," LeBeau added gently. "But there are some things that defy even logic as to the cruelty of some people, and this is one of them."

Newkirk, putting out his cigarette, promptly lit a third. Carter stared at him. "Newkirk, that's at least your second cigarette, maybe even your third. You never chain smoke like that unless it's something really bad. That's how I know whatever happened to Colonel Hogan must be really bad." He paused. "I just wish you guys would just tell me what happened. 'Cause if you don't I'll just ask Wilson."

LeBeau and Newkirk looked at each other. Finally, LeBeau let out a deep breath.

"He's right, mon ami," he said to Newkirk motioning with his head towards Carter. "He has a right to know. I think we should tell him what you, Kinch, and I suspect and Sergeant Wilson will either confirm or deny."

"I don't even know if I can say it, LeBeau," Newkirk replied sadly, pain evident in his eyes.

"Then I will tell him," LeBeau replied.

"No. It's all right, Louie. I'll tell him." Newkirk took a drag on his cigarette and then looked Carter directly in the eyes. "You want to know, Andrew? Then I'll tell you. Just keep in mind that Wilson hasn't confirmed anything yet so we could be wrong, but I don't think so. So here goes."

Carter gave Newkirk his complete attention, eyes narrowing as he listened.

Newkirk cleared his throat before continuing. "Remember when we found the Colonel out there in the woods earlier?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Kinch and I saw those bastards had used the Colonel's belt to bind his arms behind him."

"I know that."

"Well, what you don't know is that after Kinch turned the Colonel onto his back, I noticed the button on the Colonel's waistband had been undone."

Carter appeared puzzled. "I don't get it," he said.

Newkirk sighed. "What I'm tryin' to say, mate, is that there was no bloody reason for the button on the Colonel's trousers to be undone if his belt was all that was used, so to speak." He could see that Carter still looked confused. "Carter, Kinch and I suspect that something else happened to the Colonel before we got to 'im because he was in more pain than he shoulda been for just havin' only a bullet wound to his leg and injured wrists from being tied too tight."

Carter began to feel like perhaps he was slow, because he couldn't seem to grasp what Newkirk was trying to say. His confusion was apparent to Newkirk who rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Blimey, I wish I had never started this; but you wanted to know. And I was hopin' to get you to figure it out without me havin' to say it. But I guess not. So here it is, Carter. Kinch, LeBeau, and I suspect those four guards we saw perhaps raped the Gov'nor before we got to 'im. There, I said it."

Carter's jaw dropped in shock and his eyes widened. "Rape?" he repeated a bit louder than he should have.

"Keep your bloody voice down, will you?" Newkirk instructed him looking around to see if anyone overheard. It didn't look as if anybody was paying any attention to them. "You want the whole bleedin' barracks to hear you!?"

"Of course not. But, but, to rape a man, doesn't that mean someone would have to…" he couldn't finish as the words stuck in his throat.

"Yes, Andrew, they would," Newkirk said. He then looked at his close friend with sympathy. "Are you still glad we told you?"

Carter shook his head. His lower lip trembled and his eyes became bright. "I kinda wish now that you hadn't. How could somebody, anybody, do that to Colonel Hogan? He doesn't deserve that. Nobody does. But especially not the Colonel." He looked at LeBeau. "Is that why he was in so much pain when we found him?"

"Oui. That is why, mon ami," the Frenchman paused. "We suspect the four SS Bosche we saw all took part in attacking him."

Carter wiped at his eyes. "That means the one Kinch killed is one of the four that assaulted the Colonel."

"That's right, mate," Newkirk said putting out his cigarette. He noticed Carter looked horrified. "You all right? Maybe we shouldn't have told you."

"No, I'm glad you did," Carter answered, swallowing hard. He nodded his head. "So Kinch killed one of 'em." His eyes looked into Newkirk's face. "Are we gonna search for the other three?" he asked.

Newkirk and LeBeau looked at each other, uncomfortably. "That's what we intend to do, Andrew," Newkirk explained. "One by one. But killin' 'em outright just doesn't seem fair somehow, y'know?" He let a smirk appear.

"You're right, of course," LeBeau added. "First, the filthy Bosche should be made to suffer as they made Colonel Hogan suffer. But in different ways of course."

"I thought about that, Louie, old man. But if we're gonna kill 'em, I don't think we should torture 'em as well. I mean, if we torture 'em first, then that doesn't make us any better than them now does it?"

LeBeau shrugged. "I suppose you're right. But it was just a thought."

"Of course the Gov'nor doesn't approve of cold-blooded murder, y'know," the Englander remarked. "He's not gonna like it."

"But do we have to **kill **them?" Carter asked. "I mean, can't we just send them to London or something?"

Newkirk sighed. "Andrew, this is payback. And somebody once said that payback's a bitch. But that's okay. These bloody bastards have to pay for what they did to the Colonel."

"Oui. They must be taught that nobody does what they did to Colonel Hogan and expect to get away with it. But we will have to get them one by one."

"I agree," said Newkirk. "And I'm sure Kinch will agree." He sighed wearily. "We don't have much to go on though. All we know for sure are two things. One, they were SS, and two, we have their first names courtesy of the Gov'nor before he passed out." He looked at Carter. "Andrew, we're not gonna make you go along with us on this. And we won't hold it against you if you decide no. It's your decision. But with or without you, we're gonna find those bastards and punish 'em."

Carter sat quietly for a long while as he thought over what he'd been told about what happened. Then, he glanced at his friends with a serious and determined look. "You can count on me," he said finally.

* * *

Wilson wiped his hands on a towel after he finished his examination and treating Hogan's additional injuries. Then he and Kinch had managed to get Hogan undressed and into his pajamas. That's when they saw what looked like fingerprint bruises forming on the Colonel's shoulders. Shaking his head sadly, Wilson proceeded to treat them with an ointment before buttoning up Hogan's pajama top. Watching Wilson, Kinch could see the anger building in the medic's face, same as him.

"Then we were right in our suspicions, Joe," he said trying to remain calm.

"You were. The Colonel was definitely assaulted by more than one man from what I can tell." He slammed the towel onto the floor. "Bastards! How could anybody do such a barbaric thing to such a fine man?!"

"I don't know, Joe. I really don't. But they won't get away with it I promise you."

"Well, I've done everything I can for him," Wilson explained. "The rest is up to him now. But with the sedative I gave him he will hopefully sleep through the night."

Kinch rested a hand on Wilson's shoulder. "I think we should let the others know. Then I'll have somebody sit with the Colonel and keep an eye on him just in case."

I think that's wise." Wilson gazed at the injured man in the bed and sadly shook his head. Grabbing his medical bag, he switched off the lamp on the desk, then followed Kinch out into the common area, quietly closing the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The others looked around when they heard the sound of a door opening and saw Wilson and Kinch emerge with the medic gently closing the door. As they approached the table, LeBeau immediately jumped up and poured two cups of coffee and handed one to each man before sitting back down. Accepting the coffee gratefully, Kinch and Wilson sat down at the table with the medic sitting his bag on the bench beside him. He could see the men were extremely depressed.

"Carter knows, Kinch," the Frenchman added.

"That's fine," the radioman replied rubbing his forehead. He looked at Wilson who took a drink of coffee, the anger still evident on his face. "You want to tell them or should I, Joe?"

"I'll do it," Wilson sighed. He looked at the others and kept his voice low. "Based on my examination of Colonel Hogan, I have to say he was definitely sexually assaulted and by more than one man."

"We guessed as much seein' as there were four of 'em," Newkirk interjected.

"Before I continue, let me first explain his other injuries. The bullet wound to his leg went clean through and did no damage. I cleaned and stitched it closed. I gave him a shot of penicillin just in case. His wrists looked worst than they were. I also cleaned them, applied some medicated salve and wrapped them in gauze. But I had to sedate the Colonel in order to continue with my exam. As Kinch and I undressed the Colonel to get him in his pajamas, I discovered what appears to be fingerprints on his shoulders which look like somebody dug their fingers hard enough in his shoulders to leave bruising. I applied a medicated ointment to them. As far as the assault went, the Colonel suffered bleeding from the tearing and abrasions which could put him at risk for bacterial infections. Hopefully the penicillin will prevent that. Right now he's sleeping and hopefully will throughout the night." He finished his coffee. "I'll clear it with Klink as far as roll call. Also, I'll check on him in the morning."

"Can I ask you a question?" Carter asked quietly.

"Sure, Carter. What is it?"

Carter hesitated and licked his suddenly dry lips. "Will Colonel Hogan be all right?"

Sighing tiredly, Wilson looked into his empty coffee cup for a few minutes as he contemplated his reply. Finally, he looked directly at the young Sergeant.

"Honestly, I don't know, Carter. I mean, his physical scars will heal in time. But it's the emotional ones I'm worried about."

"How so?"

"Well, from what I know about male rape, men suffer some of the same psychological and emotional reactions as women. Now, Colonel Hogan is stronger than the average man. He'd have to be for the type of work he's doing, and from what he's endured from the Gestapo several times over. But I still believe we're going to have to help him through what was done to him."

"But the Colonel was trained in interrogation techniques," Carter stated, looking sad and overcome by what he was being told. "I mean, wouldn't that help him somehow?"

"It can, Carter," Wilson replied. "But what Colonel Hogan endured could hardly be called an interrogation technique. No. What was done to the Colonel, based on my exam was done not for any sexual gratification, but rather the aggressor using him as his own means of expressing power and control over him."

"Bloody bastards," Newkirk muttered under his breath, slamming his clenched fist on the table as his green eyes flashed dangerously and his face darkened.

LeBeau put a comforting hand on the Englander's arm. "I know and understand how you feel, mon ami," he said. "I am angry as well. But we must think of the Colonel right now." He saw Newkirk sigh and nod slowly.

"But the Colonel shouldn't feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed over what happened," Carter added. "He didn't ask to be…to be…you know…" he mouthed the word 'raped' to avoid anybody hearing.

"I know, Carter," the medic replied. "But the victim will feel that way nonetheless." He checked his watch and then unsuccessfully stifled a yawn. "I need to get some sleep. I'll hopefully speak with Klink before roll call. I have no idea yet what I'm going to tell him, but I'll think of something." He wearily got to his feet, grabbing his medical bag. Before he left, Wilson gazed at the closed door to the Colonel's quarters before bowing his head and shaking it grimly. He then walked out of the barracks leaving a grim bunch of prisoners behind. A few moments of silence went by before Sergeant Olsen slowly approached the group at the table.

"Can I ask you guys something?" he asked, fidgeting a bit.

"Sure, Olsen," Kinch replied looking up, his face now unreadable. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, some of the guys and I were talking after you guys brought the Colonel upstairs and…well…we were wondering what happened to him out there." Olsen looked from one to the other.

Kinch sighed wearily. There was no way anybody else could know the truth about what happened to Hogan. Finally he spoke. "The Colonel was being tortured by a Kraut patrol when we got there."

"Oui," LeBeau hastily interjected. "Kinch shot one of the filthy Bosche but the other three got away. But not to worry, mon ami. We will track them down."

Olsen let out a deep breath. "Will he be all right?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"In time," Kinch said. "But you know the Colonel. Nothing keeps him down forever."

"He almost didn't bounce back from that experimental drug he was given by the Gestapo," Olsen reminded them. (1)

"Point is he did, though," Newkirk interjected. "Just tell anybody who asks that the Gov'nor was tortured by some bloody Krauts before we got to 'im is all. It'll take awhile, but he'll soon be on the mend."

"Okay. If you guys say so. Thanks." Olsen allowed a small smile to appear before turning away and and returning to the small group of waiting prisoners near the far wall.

Alone again, the four men all looked at each other.

"That was bloody close," Newkirk remarked.

"Oui. That was quick thinking, Kinch," LeBeau added with a faint smile.

Kinch let out a deep breath. "Thanks. Considering what the others saw when we brought the Colonel back, just saying he'd been tortured without giving any details will suffice."

"But if Olsen asked about Colonel Hogan…" Carter began, "…what do we do if others ask? You know they will. Olsen did."

"We only tell them Colonel Hogan was being tortured by a Kraut patrol when we reached him. If they continue to ask questions, all they need to know is one of the Krauts was killed but the others got away and that we're gonna look for 'em. They don't need to know any of the particulars of the torture itself."

"It's almost like givin' 'em a half-truth so to speak," added Newkirk.

"Oui. Under no circumstances does anybody else need to know what happened to the Colonel. If what Sergeant Wilson said is true, Colonel Hogan already feels shame, guilt, embarrassment and who knows what else over what happened to him. He doesn't need anybody's pity. It'll just make him feel worse. Speaking of which…" the feisty little Frenchman stared at Carter and punched him in the arm though not hard.

"Owww," Carter replied rubbing his arm looking at LeBeau. "What'd you do that for?"

LeBeau made sure he kept his voice low. "When we were talking with Sergeant Wilson, you acted like you couldn't even say the word rape. If you're going to act like that around the Colonel, perhaps it would be better if you stayed away from him."

"Why for Pete sake?"

"Because if you are so embarrassed by what happened to the Colonel how do you think he feels? He is going to be embarrassed enough. He doesn't need someone around him who feels the same as him because it just might make him feel worse."

"I'm sorry. It's that this is hard for me to handle knowing."

"Well you make it unhard and soon, mate," said Newkirk. "LeBeau's right. The Gov'nor doesn't need anybody around 'im who's gonna make 'im feel ruddy worse that he already does. I believe he's gonna feel bad enough when he finds out we know. So, what's it gonna be, Andrew?"

"I can handle this. I promise. I don't want to make Colonel Hogan feel worse. I want him to know I'm there for him just like you guys. I think by morning what happened will have sunk in and I'll be better able to handle it."

"I hope so, Carter," Kinch replied with a grim expression. "We all need to pull together for the Colonel. This may be the hardest thing he's ever had to deal with and he's had to deal with plenty since he's been here."

"Right." Newkirk looked at the radioman. "Hey Kinch, what do you think Wilson will tell ole Klink to get the Colonel out of roll call tomorrow?"

"I don't know. But whatever he tells him, I just hope Klink buys it. So, we'll just have to wait and see." He let out a deep breath. "Hopefully I'll have a chance to speak with Joe in the morning before roll call so we'll be covered as well just in case there's something we're suppose to know." He looked at his watch and noticed it was extremely late. "Okay, I suggest we all turn in and try and get some sleep. Newkirk, you should go below and change and clean up. Also, I need somebody to sit with the Colonel in case something should happen. Since Joe gave him a sedative I don't expect him to wake before morning, but I'd rather not take the chance."

"I'll do it, Kinch," Carter said quietly. "I'll sit with the Colonel."

"You sure, mate?" asked Newkirk with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Right now, it's the least I can do for Colonel Hogan." Seeing Kinch and LeBeau smiling at him, the young Sergeant slowly got up and walked to the Colonel's quarters. Opening the door quietly, he looked in before silently entering and closing the door.

"I tell you, Kinch. Sometimes that Carter surprises the hell out of even me," Newkirk replied getting up and heading toward the tunnel entrance and striking the hidden mechanism. LeBeau got up and cracked open the barracks door to stand watch leaving Kinch alone at the table.

He ran his hands down his face and sighed wearily. He looked at the closed door. _Colonel, you've been through so much since you've been here, and you've always come back, _he told himself. _Have you got enough strength to come back again? _

* * *

"Roll Caaaaaallll! All prisoners outside for roll call!" Sergeant Hans Schultz opened the door and entered the room. He struck the side of Newkirk's bunk shocking the Englander awake. "Roll call! All prisoners outside! Mach schnell!"

Newkirk lifted his heavy head and yawned. "Blimey, Schultz! You're worse than a ruddy rooster! Sound worse too."

"Go away, Schultz!" LeBeau muttered as he started to sit up and promptly fell over back onto his bunk. "Come back next week. I should be alive by then."

Schultz smirked. "Sorry. But if you boys weren't so busy with your monkey business, you wouldn't be so sleepy." He looked around the room and noticed the prisoners, grumbling, were starting to stir. His eyes feel on the empty bunk beneath Newkirk's. "Where is Carter?" He also noticed the door to Colonel Hogan's quarters had remained closed. "Where is Colonel Hogan?" Schultz asked, eyes narrowing.

Newkirk had jumped down from his upper bunk and was pulling at his nightshirt. He glanced at Carter's empty bunk. "What d'ya know. Carter didn't come home last night." A smirk appeared as he looked at the obese prison guard. "Must've got lucky."

"Hrmph. Jolly joker. Now, where is Carter?"

"We told you, he had a hot date last night and didn't come back," LeBeau agreed having climbed down from his bunk and approaching the guard, poked him playfully in his large stomach.

"What!?" Schultz uttered. "You mean he's escaped?"

"I didn't say he escaped, Schultzie. I said he got lucky is all. It's a lonely war, mate. A bloke sometimes has to find female companionship if he's gonna stay here."

"The Kommandant is not going to like this," Schultz whined. "Please don't tell me Colonel Hogan went with him?"

"Colonel Hogan's in his quarters, Schultz," Kinch said. "He's not feeling well. He's sick. Has been since last night."

"Another jolly joker. You are lying. Colonel Hogan was fine yesterday. He probably has escaped as well." Schultz rolled his eyes. "Oh, the Kommandant is going to kill me."

Kinch feigned hurt feelings. "Schultz, you called me a liar. How could you?"

"I'm sorry. What am I going to tell the Kommandant?"

"Tell 'im Carter didn't come back from his hot date last night in town, and that the Colonel's sick," Newkirk explained.

Schultz closed his eyes and groaned. He opened them when Sergeant Wilson, carrying his medical bag, squeezed past his large bulk.

"Morning, Schultz," Wilson said getting into the room finally. He looked at Kinch. "How's the Colonel?"

"Still sleeping, I believe."

"Well, I'd better check on him before I make my report to the Kommandant and get the Colonel excused from roll call." He headed towards Hogan's quarters.

"Wait a minute," said Schultz looking at Kinch. "Where is he going?"

"To check on Colonel Hogan, Schultz. We told you before he was sick. You just chose not to believe it." Looking over his shoulder, Kinch watched Wilson open the door to the small room and enter, closing it behind him. Schultz started towards the room but found his way blocked by Kinch and LeBeau.

"You can't go in there, Schultz," Kinch told him seriously.

"And why not?"

"Sergeant Wilson is checking on Colonel Hogan's condition. Besides, you don't want to go in there."

"And why not?"

"Because it might be something contagious," LeBeau added.

"Stand aside. I must check and see if Colonel Hogan is in there."

LeBeau and Kinch looked at each other, shrugged and stood aside. Satisfied, Schultz opened the door and found his way blocked by Carter who didn't seem surprised at seeing the large guard. "Hi, Schultz," he said faking a smile. "What are you doing here?"

"What am **I** doing here? What are **you **doing here?"

"I live here." Carter then put his finger to his lips. "Shhhh. You don't want to wake Colonel Hogan. He needs his rest."

Schultz groaned, then lowered his voice. "Carter, stand aside. I want to see if Colonel Hogan is inside."

"Of course he's inside. You think I'd be in here by myself?"

Schultz closed his eyes momentarily before looking at Carter in exasperation. "Move!" he ordered. Carter stood aside allowing Schultz to enter. "Geez, the nerve of some people..." he muttered. The obese guard froze in the doorway at what he saw.

Sergeant Wilson sat on the chair beside the bed with his stethoscope listening to the Colonel's heart. Colonel Hogan himself was apparently sleeping or unconscious. Wilson gave Schultz a stern look. Hogan didn't look well at all. In fact, to Schultz, the American was so still. A stab of fear penetrated the guard's body for some unexplained reason. He backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. He looked nervously at Kinch. "He doesn't look well at all. What is wrong with Colonel Hogan?"

Kinch looked at Schultz. He could see the genuine concern and worry in his face. But despite that, he could not know the truth either. Kinch sighed. "We don't know yet, Schultz. We're hoping Sergeant Wilson can tell us." He clamped a hand on the guard's shoulder and led him to the door of the barracks which was open and prisoners were filing out. "Now, why don't we got to roll call before Klink gets worried that everybody in barracks two has escaped."

* * *

(1) The story regarding Hogan and the experimental drug is from the story ADDICTION written by me(ColHogan).


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The men were lined up in formation outside barracks two in the chilly morning air as Schultz counted each man. They all wanted to return inside the barracks and check on Colonel Hogan and see how he was doing. At the same time Schultz finished his count, a loud voice could be heard booming in the air.

"Schultz, repooooooort! Repooooooort!" the voice belonged to Kommandant Wilhelm Klink. He stood near his Sergeant as they exchanged salutes.

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for minus one."

Klink's smile suddenly faded. "What do you mean all accounted for minus one? What kind of a count is that, Schultz?"

"Well, Herr Kommandant, it's like this…" As Schultz struggled to explain, Klink's eyes scanned the two of rows of prisoners before finally landing at the vacant space beside Newkirk.

"Ah ha!" Klink's eyes twinkled and he smiled cunningly as if he'd just caught a child in the act of misbehaving. "Where is Colonel Hogan?" he asked, looking at Schultz directly.

"Herr Kommandant, Colonel Hogan is ill. He is in his quarters with Sergeant Wilson. I saw them there."

"You saw them there. Umm-hmmm." Klink marched straight up to and stood in front of the Englander. "Newkirk, what's supposedly wrong with Colonel Hogan?"

Newkirk bit his lower lip. "We don't know exactly, sir. He's been unconscious since last night. Came on rather sudden it did, sir."

Klink shook a finger in Newkirk's face. "I don't believe you! You're covering for the fact that he's escaped! So he's in his quarters, eh? I will check for myself and we'll see just how sick he really is!" That said, the Kommandant marched past the men and stormed into the barracks followed by the prisoners, and went directly to Hogan's quarters. Klink figured Hogan either escaped, or he was in his quarters lolly-gagging. Gripping the doorknob he opened the door and shouted "Ah hah!" expecting to see Hogan lounging on his bunk reading or relaxing. Instead, he saw what appeared to be a man either sleeping or unconscious, and a worried Sergeant Wilson seated beside the bed. He was met with a stare from Sergeant Wilson who sat rubbing his chin. Klink's eyes again fell on the man lying in bed. He slowly approached the bed and stared down at the seemingly unconscious man, a look of concern and worry appeared. "Hogan?" he asked gently. Getting no response, Klink turned and looked at the camp medic.

"Sergeant Wilson, what's wrong with Colonel Hogan? He was fine yesterday."

"It may be pneumonia, Kommandant," Wilson replied. "From what I understand, it came on quite suddenly. The Colonel hasn't been feeling well the last few days. Right now he's sleeping. Has been since last night."

Klink was still suspicious. "He never said anything to me about being ill."

"C'mon, Kommandant," Wilson looked at him in amazement. "You know Colonel Hogan. He never complains when he doesn't feel well or is injured."

Klink admitted to himself that what the medic said was true. Hogan was not a complainer and in the past had tried to hide his illnesses. He nodded. "I know. Perhaps I should have him sent to the local hospital?"

"I don't believe that's necessary right now, sir. I think he'd be better staying here with people he's familiar with and will do all they can to take care of him."

"Very well, Sergeant Wilson. Colonel Hogan will be excused from roll call until such time as he has been cleared medically."

"Thank you, sir."

Klink's eyes sought out Kinch. "Sergeant Kinchloe, until such time as Colonel Hogan has recovered and can resume his duties, you will be Acting Senior POW. Understood?"

"Yes, sir, Kommandant," Kinch replied.

"One more thing. Until Colonel Hogan can attend roll call again, Sergeant Schultz will check on him to make sure he's here. And heaven help everybody if he isn't."

"Understood, Colonel," Kinch replied. "Just one more thing, Kommandant."

"Yes, what is it, Sergeant?"

"I spoke with Sergeant Wilson yesterday, and we both agree that somebody should sit with Colonel Hogan at all times until he's recovered. We don't feel he should be left alone."

"Very well. Just see I have a schedule of who's going to be sitting with Colonel Hogan and when. That person will also be excused from roll call. But they better be here as well when Schultz checks."

"Yes sir," Kinch replied. "You'll have the schedule by the end of the day."

"Very good. Carry on. Diss-missed!" He abruptly turned and left the small room with Schultz hurrying to catch up with him. Once they were gone, Hogan's core unit chased all the men out and closed the door. Now alone, Kinch grinned at the medic.

"Great going, Joe," he said. "I was worried if you were gonna be able to come up with something that fast. Looks like I was wrong."

Wilson returned the radioman's grin. "So was I. Plus I thought Klink might question it."

"So how is he?" asked Newkirk softly.

Wilson sighed. "Physically, he seems okay. The fact that he's still sleeping isn't of any concern. His body needs the rest anyway. But he should awaken sometime today and then we'll see."

* * *

_He felt the muzzle of a rifle pressed against the base of his skull._

"_Don't move or I will blow your brains out!" said the guard holding the rifle._

_He hoped Newkirk and Kinch had gotten away and made it safely back to camp. He turned his head sideways to see his captors. There were all SS guards. He swallowed hard. Suddenly he felt one of them grab him by his hair and jerk his head backward and look into his eyes. "Looks like we have ourselves either a spy or a saboteur. I wonder which he is?" He could hear the slurring of words and smelled the beer on his breath._

"_Henrik, we don't have any handcuffs," said one of the others._

"_Doesn't matter. We can use his belt and tie his arms behind him. See to it will you, Fritz?"_

_He felt someone reach under him, unbuckle his belt and, after removing it, felt his arms roughly jerked behind him, his wrists overlapped, and the belt pulled tightly. Then he was roughly yanked to his feet and spun around. The guard named Fritz stared at him. "We have a pretty face here, Henrik." He seized him by the front of his sweater and windbreaker. He smelled the alcohol on Fritz's breath. "What do we do with this pretty face boy?"_

"_You could let me go. I was only out for an evening stroll anyway," he replied casually._

_The guard named Henrik chuckled. "We have a funny man here. Shall we show him what we do with funny men?" Suddenly, a rifle butt was jammed into his abdomen knocking the breath out of him. It was followed by a fist connecting with his jaw which sent him sprawling, face down, across a downed tree. He felt a boot on his back again, pinning him down._

"_This isn't what we do with comedians," Fritz said, still slurring._

"_It isn't? Then why don't you show me what we do,," said Henrik._

_Turning his aching head sideways again, he saw Fritz unbutton his own topcoat and toss it on the ground. His eyes widened as he saw what Fritz did next. He was standing there unfastening his trousers._

"Ummmm," Hogan suddenly moaned as he shifted his position on the bed.

_He felt Fritz reach under him again only this time he was unbuttoning the button of the front of his waistband. _"_No!" he heard himself utter._

"Ummmm," Hogan squirmed on the bed, tossing his head from side-to-side. Kinch, Carter, LeBeau, Newkirk and Wilson gathered around their commanding officer. To them, the Colonel seemed to be struggling with something or someone. "Ummmm," he murmured again, more loudly this time.

"I think he's beginning to wake up," Wilson explained.

_He felt the button on his waistband undone. Next thing he knew Fritz further undid his black pants, grabbed his waistband in both hands and started to pull….(1)_

"No!" Hogan suddenly cried out, his eyes widening in shock and horror. He bolted upright on his bed despite the pain in his shoulders and his head. The sudden movement made him dizzy and he almost immediately fell back on the bed. One hand massaged his forehead as the headache pounded mercilessly. It was then he noticed his men sitting around him, worried looks on their faces. "What are you guys doing here?" His eyes narrowed . "Wait. Just where is here anyway?"

"You're in your quarters in the barracks, mon Colonel," said LeBeau with a grin. "How do you feel?"

Hogan seemed confused. "My quarters? How did I get here?"

"We uh, we brought you back to camp, Colonel," Kinch said. "Oh, by the way, the bridge was completely destroyed. The explosives went off right on schedule." He allowed a small grin to appear.

Hogan looked at his men in confusion. "Bridge?" Try as he might, he couldn't remember. "Funny. I can't seem to remember blowing a bridge. Was I injured? Is that why I can't remember?" Looking around, his eyes latched onto Wilson. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

Before Wilson could answer, Newkirk interrupted as he slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. "Exactly what do you remember, Gov'nor?" his eyes looked deeply concerned.

"Let's see. I remember you, me and Kinch went out through the emergency tunnel and we were to set explosives someplace. I just wish I could remember where we were to plant them." Hogan suddenly gripped one shoulder and rotated his arm. "I wish I knew why my shoulders hurt so much." He winced as he suddenly became aware of the pain in his leg. Moving his hand along his leg, he came upon the bandage under the pajama bottom. He also noticed the gauze wrapped around both his wrists. Puzzled, he looked at Wilson for an explanation. "Joe?" he asked.

"It's okay, Colonel," Wilson replied softly. "You were wounded while outside the camp. You were shot in the leg."

"And this?" Hogan held up both hands, the gauze peeking out from under his pajama sleeves

"You were tied up a little too tightly."

Hogan suddenly had a strange look on his face. "Tied up? By who?" He rubbed his forehead again. "Why can't I remember any of this?"

"Just take it easy, Colonel," Carter said gently putting a hand on Hogan's non-injured leg. Without warning, Hogan seized Carter by the front of his leather jacket, yanked him close, and glared at him darkly.

"Get your hands off of me or I'll **kill** you!" he shouted, venom dripping from his words.

"Colonel?" Carter protested. "Colonel, please. I didn't mean anything! I'm sorry!" Carter apologized repeatedly trying to break the Colonel's grip on his jacket.

The others finally recovered their senses, so sudden and violent was Hogan's reaction. Kinch, Newkirk and LeBeau tried to free Carter from Hogan's vise-like grip. They were all begging with their commander to release the young Sergeant. Wilson was reaching into his medical bag rummaging for what he was looking for.

Just as suddenly, Hogan's face became horrified when he saw what he was doing. He saw Carter's terrified eyes and his heart melted and his eyes softened. He released Carter as if his jacket burned his hands. Hogan looked at his hands. "I don't know why I did that. Carter, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know what made me do that. Please forgive me."

"Sure, Colonel," Carter took a deep breath, but was obviously still rattled. "No problem. No harm done. Don't worry about it."

Hogan looked at the gauze wrapped around his wrists and appeared fascinated by it. There was something he thought he should remember but couldn't. He looked up at Kinch. "How did I get tied up?" Kinch didn't answer. Instead, he looked at Wilson for some kind of guidance. Hogan noticed Kinch's reaction, and his own eyes shifted to Wilson. He wrapped his arms around himself and looked the medic. "Seems like everybody's looking to you, Joe. So I guess I'll ask you then. How did I get tied up and by who? And why can't I remember blowing up that bridge?"

Wilson looked at the others. "Guys, except for Kinch, would the rest of you mind waiting outside? I think the Colonel's had enough excitement for now. You can come back and visit him later.

Reluctantly, Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter exited the room, all promising they would check on him later. It was only after the door closed that Wilson spoke up.

"Colonel, what's the last thing you remember?"

Hogan shrugged, wincing from the ache in his shoulders. He looked at Wilson, curious. "I remember going out last night with Kinch and Newkirk. We had a mission from London to blow something up. But I don't remember any bridge though. After that, I remember opening my eyes and seeing you two and LeBeau, Newkirk and Carter. Everything in between is a blank." He massaged one of his shoulders and pulled the shoulder of his pajama top away and raised his eyebrows when he noticed the dark bruising on one shoulder underneath; then, checking the other shoulder noticed the same thing. With narrowed eyes, he looked at Wilson. "What's with these bruises on my shoulders, Joe?"

Wilson let out a deep breath. "I'd rather wait until you're stronger before getting into what happened, Colonel. Besides, it isn't important right now."

"I'll decide what is and isn't important." Hogan swung his legs over the edge of the bed and attempted to get up, His right leg gave out under him immediately causing him to grit his teeth. Kinch and Wilson both tried to grab him before he fell, but the sudden look of rage and anger he gave both them told them if they put their hands on him they would be risking life and limb.

In addition, he felt pain in another location of his body that he hadn't noticed because he had been laying down. He had a very, very sore bottom and didn't know why. If only he could remember. For some reason Hogan felt he should know what happened to him, and for some reason he couldn't. He saw Wilson holding two filled syringes. Hogan eyed them suspiciously, as he struggled into a sitting position on the bunk.

"What are those for?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"One is penicillin, the other is morphine for the pain."

"I don't need any injections. I just need some straight answers. Starting with what happened to me. Also…" Hogan shifted his position on the bed trying to get comfortable. "Why is my butt so sore? I can't get comfortable." When he didn't get an immediate response, Hogan's eyes went from one man to the other. "Somebody better start talking and fast! A guy can only take so much of you two looking at each other."

Kinch allowed a small grin to appear. "It's kind of embarrassing, Colonel, to be honest," he said sheepishly. "See, when the bridge blew, you were literally blown off your feet and landed backward on a jagged rock. You hit it full force from the impact of the explosion."

"Uh huh," Hogan remarked not believing a word of it. "Kinch, you expect me to believe that?" Kinch didn't respond. He knew it was a rather lame excuse.

"Enough talk," Wilson interjected. "Colonel, unbutton your pajama top please."

Sighing wearily, Hogan began unbuttoning his pajama top. Midway of unbuttoning it he suddenly paused as something came to him. His head tilted slightly to one side as his eyes narrowed.

_He saw Fritz tugging on the waistband until it gave. He closed his eyes with the first wave of pain struck. He felt the guard dig his fingers into his shoulders as he continued his assault. The bastards, he thought. If he could just get his hands free he would kill all of them! _Hogan squeezed his eyes shut tightly hoping it would block out the flashback. He shook his head hoping to make it go away. He wanted it to go away.

"Colonel? You all right?" asked the medic. He and Kinch exchanged concerned looks.

_Fritz's assault seemed to last forever. He had never been so humiliated in his life; humiliated and degraded. He struggled to free his arms from their restraint, but the more he struggled the worse the pain got from the assault and in his shoulders. _Shaking his head again, Hogan opened his eyes seemingly in a cold sweat and appeared to be in a daze. He looked at Kinch, his eyes expressionless.(2)

"Colonel Hogan, sir, Are you all right?" Kinch asked. He saw Hogan look at him with a blank expression. "Colonel?" He reached for the Colonel's pajama top to finish unbuttoning it, but was stopped by Wilson who shook his head. Kinch looked at Wilson, puzzled.

"Don't touch him, Kinch. Remember Carter? Let him be for now."

Then, just as quickly, Hogan sighed wearily and resumed unbuttoning his top. His blank expression gone. Once done, he slid it off one shoulder so Wilson could give him the injections

After a few minutes, Hogan heard Wilson let out a deep breath. "All done, Colonel," he said with a grin. Hogan smirked as he buttoned his top. He looked at his watch. "Did I miss roll call," he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Don't worry about roll call, Colonel," Kinch explained. "Joe will explain why. But I have to go contact London and let them know about the bridge."

Hogan knew something was going on between Wilson and his men, but couldn't figure out what. Somehow, he suspected it had something to do with the blowing up of that bridge. If he could just remember.

* * *

(1) This what is called the powerless dream where the victim relives the rape but awakes before the rape itself. It is Phase 2 of what is called the Reorganization Phase in which the victim tries to make sense of the assault.

(2) Flashbacks to the attack are one of the psychological and emotional reactions a sexual assault survivor may experience.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Wilson had sent Kinch out of the room so he and Hogan could be alone to talk. Laying down on his back was the only way Hogan could get 'sort of ' comfortable. His head, wrists and shoulders ached, his leg throbbed, and for some reason his butt was extremely sore. He still couldn't believe that story Kinch had told him. Turning his head to the side, he saw Wilson seated in the chair beside his bed, facing him. "Joe, what's going on? All of you are acting very secretive and I don't like it. Now, what happened to me, and why can't I remember what happened between the blowing up of that bridge, to when I woke up and saw all of you around my bunk. Also, why did I attack Carter as I did?"

"Colonel, right now I honestly cannot answer your questions because I simply don't know. Now you can choose to believe me or not, but I'm being as honest with you as I can. As to why you attacked Carter, that I can't answer because I have no idea except that it might be delayed anger at whoever caught you and tied you up too tightly"

"I still suspect you and the guys are keeping something from me. Something all of you don't want me to know about." Also, Hogan shifted his position slightly. "I just wish my butt didn't hurt so much." He massaged his forehead. "I wish to hell I could remember."

Wilson grinned. "Relax, Colonel. You should try and get some sleep anyway." Grabbing his medical bag, the medic got to his feet. "Oh, before I forget, you don't have to worry about roll call for now. Klink saw you while you were sleeping and I told him you have pneumonia. So, for the next few days you won't have to worry about it. Schultz will just check on you and whoever's sitting with you to make sure you're both here. So relax, Colonel."

"Joe, wait."

Wilson looked over his shoulder. "Yes, Colonel?"

"If nothing's wrong why do I require a babysitter?"

Wilson sighed thinking quickly. "I'm concerned about that bullet wound to your leg. I don't want any infection to set in. Plus, if you need something, there'll be someone here to get it for you. I don't want you getting up for any reason. If you get up, you could fall, rip your stitches and start bleeding again. Now, get some sleep. I'll check on you later this evening." Wilson turned and walked out of the small room leaving Hogan alone with his thoughts. He had soon drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Wilson spotted Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk seated at the table and joined them. He ran a hand over his hair and sighed. He turned his attention to Carter. "You okay, Carter?" he asked.

Carter, still a bit shaken, looked at the medic. "I'm okay. Really. It's just that, well, I didn't expect Colonel Hogan to react the way he did. It was like he was a different person."

"But you're all right?"

"I'm okay, Joe. I swear."

"Good," Wilson said with a smile, gripping the back of Carter's neck and giving it a friendly squeeze. He then patted him on the back. "He didn't mean anything. He's angry at those who attacked him. So, right now, anybody who touches him is gonna cause an outburst such as what you saw when all Carter did was put a hand on his leg. I'm afraid he's going to be that way for awhile. But just remember, it's not directed at any of you personally. He's got a lot of built-up anger that he needs to release."

"Kinch told us 'bout the Gov'nor askin' 'bout his injuries," said Newkirk lighting a cigarette. "What if he asks one of us while we're sitting with him?"

"Well, I told him I didn't want him out of bed because he could rip the stitches in his leg and start bleeding again. I think he bought it, but with the Colonel you never know. I also told him about the pneumonia. As for one particular injury, we'll go with Kinch's explanation for now. I don't recommend anybody tell him what happened. He needs to remember it on his own at his own pace."

"About that, Joe," LeBeau interjected. "How come the Colonel didn't remember anything about the mission he, Kinch and Newkirk went on?"

Wilson massaged his forehead for a minute before continuing. "Right now, blocking out what happened is the mind's way of protecting itself from something it can't cope with at present. In other words, Colonel Hogan can't deal with the rape, so, until his mind is able to deal with it, it's blocked it out."

"But he will remember eventually?" asked Kinch, worried.

"I believe so. And when he does, he's really gonna need you guys to be there for him. Right now, all he knows is that he was apparently captured while on the mission and tied up. That's the way it should stay until he can cope with the truth." Wilson checked his watch and got up. "I've got to go. But I'll be back this evening to check on the Colonel." He left the barracks.

Newkirk looked around to make sure nobody else was within hearing range before he spoke. Satisfied, he leaned in along with the others, keeping his voice low. "Okay, Kinch, have you had a chance to check out those names the Colonel gave us of the bloody SS before he passed out?"

"Yeah, I did." Kinch removed a small pad from his pocket and flipped it open. "I had the local underground check on the SS in the area and got three names that match the first names the Colonel gave us. Sergeant Fritz Weidman, Sergeant Henrik Drapper, Corporal Reinhold Mueller who's dead, and Corporal Hans Reinard. Now, according to our contact, Drapper is in charge of this patrol. When he's sent on patrol, the others are always assigned to accompany him." He then read off a brief description of each man before flipping the pad closed. "That's it."

"Okay, so we have their names and descriptions," said Carter. "What do we do now?"

"Now, Andrew, me mate, we go about catching 'em one by one. It'll be easier that way."

"How do we do that? And who do we target first?" asked LeBeau.

Kinch flipped open his notebook again and studied the names. "Doesn't really matter which one is first as far as I'm concerned. But, according to this list, this Fritz Weidman is the youngest of the group at twenty-six."

"Sounds like it might be better to start with him," Newkirk replied, looking around. "As he's the youngest he might be the most easy to lure." Looking at the others, he saw they all seem to agree. "Now, problem is then, how do we get 'im?" He was looking at Kinch.

The radioman scratched his chin. "I say we first do some reconnaissance in SS headquarters and see if we can locate one of them, preferably this Corporal Weidman. But if not Weidman, I'm not picky." He then bit his lower lip. "But I think we should first go over the options other than simply killing them outright." His eyes shifted to Carter momentarily.

"Why?" asked LeBeau with narrowed eyes. "They must pay for what they did."

"I know," Kinch replied. "But they can be made to pay in other ways also. I just want to make sure we've looked at all options first."

"What about sending them to London?" asked Carter eagerly.

"For what may I ask?" asked Newkirk with raised eyebrows. "It's not like they threatened our operation or the underground. They don't have any bloody information London needs and they aren't a danger to the Allies. So if you ask me, that eliminates sending 'em to London."

"And the Colonel can't say anything to anybody," LeBeau interjected. "Because if he does it would mean he was either assaulted by somebody in camp in which case the entire camp will find out. Or, it happened outside the wire and then Bosche Hochstetter would become involved and want to know what the Colonel was doing outside the camp. Besides, the Colonel is going to be embarrassed enough finding out we know what happened, He couldn't handle it if he knew the entire camp knew."

"But nobody would hold it against Colonel Hogan," added Carter.

"I'm not speaking about that. The Colonel might figure he can't effectively lead this team or the men under him because he would be so ashamed and humiliated that the entire camp knows. So that is out."

"That leaves letting them get away with what they did and moving on," said Kinch.

"Are you bloody balmy or what!" Newkirk raised his voice and then suddenly realized he was shouting and lowered his voice again. "Let those bloody bastards get away with what they did to the Gov'nor? Are you daft or what?"

"I hope you are kidding, mon ami," LeBeau hissed. "I would die before I let them get away with shaming and humiliating Colonel Hogan as they did."

"Me too, mate," Newkirk added. " Besides, what they did was strictly for their own amusement. Nobody has the right to use someone like that. Nobody. I say make 'em pay."

"Oui, I agree."

Kinch looked at Carter thoughtfully. The young Sergeant had listened to the reasons behind why each man felt as he did. But while Carter understood with the kind of work they did killing was necessary, wanton killing was not something he wanted to be party to. But the thought of simply allowing these men get away with what they did was not something Carter wanted to see either. Finally, he looked at his friends. "Count me in," he said softly.

"Now that that's settled, how do we go about the reconnaissance, Kinch?" LeBeau asked.

"Okay. First I need to contact the underground. We're gonna need more information on these three. Background information in particular. We need all the information possible to see what's the best way to approach catching these three without them catching on. Also, LeBeau, I need you to make up the schedule as to whom will be sitting with Colonel Hogan and when so I can give it to Klink. Have everybody take three hour shifts. First you, then Newkirk, then me with Carter last. If need be, we'll have Wilson sit with him. But don't add his name to the list. I don't want Klink to get suspicious as to why none of us is with Colonel Hogan."

"Oui. I understand. It will be done."

* * *

_He felt the muzzle of a rifle pressed against the base of his skull. _

"_Don't move or I will blow your brains out, swine!" the guard said._

_All he could hope was that Kinch and Newkirk made it safely back to camp._

_He felt a boot on his back holding him in place. He recalled hearing one of them say something about not having any handcuffs. Then he felt someone reaching under his body and removing his belt._

"Ummmm," Hogan murmured in his sleep. He began to toss and turn.

_His arms were pulled roughly behind him, his wrists overlapped and his belt wrapped around his wrists and pulled tightly; too tightly. The leather cut into his flesh._

"Ummmm," Hogan began squirming around on the bed. He was becoming agitated.

"_Why don't you show me what we do with comedians, Fritz."_

_He believed he was about to be executed and said a silent prayer. He turned his head expecting to see the muzzle of a rifle pointed at his head. What he saw stunned him. He saw Fritz unfastening his trousers. He saw the guard suddenly beside him and reach beneath him and unfasten the button on the waistband of his black trousers. He started to pull on the waistband and…_

"No!" Hogan cried out bolting upright in the bed despite the pain in his head and shoulders. He buried his face in his hands and only looked up when the door opened and saw his team enter, looks of concern on their faces having heard their Colonel cry out.

"Mon Colonel, are you all right?" LeBeau asked, frightened.

"What?" Hogan appeared to be dazed and confused. He stared at his men with a bewildered expression. Closing his eyes Hogan shook his head before opening them again. "What are you guys doing here? What's happened?" he asked in a strained voice.

"We heard you cry out, sir," Newkirk said.

"What are you talking about? I didn't…"

"Colonel, we heard you cry out 'No!' to someone who was doing something to you," said Kinch. "Maybe you were dreaming about the guards who caught you after we set the explosives at the bridge."

Hogan sighed wearily. "I'm not sure what it's about," he said with some truth. "All I keep seeing is four guards holding me at gunpoint. One of them used my belt to tie my arms behind me because they didn't have handcuffs. It's just that…." He massaged his forehead.

"It's just what, sir?" asked Newkirk.

"It's just that I think there's something else. Something I should remember but for some reason can't." He didn't notice the men glancing uncomfortably at each other. "I just wish I could remember," he added, frustrated.

"Don't force it, Colonel," LeBeau said sitting on the edge of the bed, "It will come to you in time." He rested a hand on Hogan's arm. Before the others could stop him, Hogan grabbed LeBeau around the throat with both hands and began to apply pressure, a look of rage on his face. "Keep your damn hands off me! Don't you **touch **me again! **Ever!**"

Kinch, Carter and Newkirk frantically tried to wrestle the Colonel's hands from around LeBeau's throat as the Frenchman tried prying the Colonel's fingers away. "Mon Colonel!" he squeaked, gasping for breath. "Stop! Please! Mon Colonel!"

The just as suddenly, Hogan realized what he was about to do and immediately released the Frenchman who clutched his own throat and coughed, trying to take in air. Newkirk and Carter gently got LeBeau to his feet and sit in the chair at Hogan's desk. LeBeau was still coughing and clutching his throat.

Hogan was staring at his hands not believing what he had nearly done. "Why did I do that?" he asked no-one in particular. His eyes shifted to the Frenchman. "LeBeau, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! I don't know what's happening to me! Something set me off and I took it out on you just as I did with Carter. And I don't know why I attacked him either. I'm so sorry, LeBeau. I hope I didn't hurt you."

LeBeau looked up, tears welling in his eyes. "I'm all right, mon Colonel," he replied. "You are angry at those guards who captured you after you blew up the bridge. You did not hurt me." A weak smile appeared. "There is nothing to forgive."

Hogan gripped his head in both hands. "I don't understand what's happening to me. Why am I doing this? There has to be a reason for this misplaced anger. If I could just figure out what it is."

"Take it slow, Colonel," Kinch said. "It'll come to you in it's own time whatever it is. Just don't try and force it."

Sighing dejectedly, Hogan looked at each man. "I think until I figure out what's happening to me, you fellas should keep your distance. I don't want to really hurt one of you with my unexplained bursts of anger. I might end up really hurting one of you fellas."

"Sorry, Colonel," LeBeau said with a slightly frightened grin. "But we are going to take shifts caring for you until you are well. Besides, you did not hurt me."

"Are you sure, LeBeau?" Hogan asked, worried.

"Oui. Vous ne pourriez jamais blesser n'importe quel de nous, mon Colonel. Nous savons quel est votre coeur," he said with a smile.

"What does that mean?" asked a puzzled Carter.

"I said you could never hurt any of us, mon Colonel. We know what is in your heart."

Hogan hung his head, and let out a deep breath. He secretly hoped whatever was happening to him now, and whatever had happened to him on that mission were somehow connected and that the sooner he could recall what it was, the sooner he felt he would stop being so angry. It frightened him to think with his own hands he had attacked two of his own men out of anger. And not just anger. But it was as if an uncontrollable rage had taken over as well as a desire to purposely hurt someone. He began to suspect the need to hurt someone had something to do with the guards he kept seeing in his dreams. He turned his head towards his men.

"I just hope you guys know what you're letting yourselves in for. I have no idea why I'm having these outbursts of rage. And I can't guarantee they won't happen again. I don't want you guys around me in case I do."

"Sorry, Colonel," Newkirk interjected. "We've already decided and the decision is not subject to negotiation. So it's settled." He looked at his watch. "In fact, LeBeau's got the first shift. However, as it is close to lunchtime, I will take the first shift and let Louie relieve me in three hours this one time."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Hans, Henrik, and Fritz all sat stuffing their faces at lunch and drinking beer even though they weren't suppose to since they had to return to duty in an hour. Also, they were talking about the death of Reinhold and the attack on the American.

"I have a suspicion those four men who killed Reinhold were accomplices of that American swine," said Henrik as he picked up his beer mug.

"Think he'll tell what we did?" asked Fritz as he took a swig of his beer.

"Who cares?" Hans replied with a smirk. "Who's gonna care that some American mongrel got exactly what he deserved. He was asking for it anyway. Besides, who's he going to tell? The Germans?" Everybody laughed out loud at that thought. Then, Hans scratched his chin. "Too bad, Fritz, you didn't get the chance to put a bullet in his head. If you had, we wouldn't have to worry about him." He clapped a hand on the younger man's shoulder and smiled. "But who knows? If we run into him again you just might still get the chance."

Fritz grinned as he looked at his friend. He hoped Hans was right and they'd meet the American again. If they did, before he killed him, he knew Henrik would see they all had some fun with him again before he died this time. And die this time he would.

Hans looked at Henrik. "You know, Henrik. I wish we could've spent more time with that swine. We could have really taught him a lesson he'd never forget. It would have been entertaining to hear him beg for mercy."

Henrik looked around making sure nobody was within earshot. Satisfied, he turned back to the others. He leaned in close as did the others. "We must be careful though," he warned. "If anyone found out what we did, the punishment for us would be harsh. The only one who knows besides us is the American. And thinking about it, he just might find someone who will believe him. He heard our first names after all. I suggest to protect ourselves we try and find the American and finish him off before that happens. But before he dies, I assure you both he will provide us with entertainment, and this time we'll make certain he screams for mercy and begs for his life just before the bullet enters his brain."

"But how do we find him?" asked Fritz, puzzled. "I mean, where do we begin looking? He could be anywhere."

Henrik folded his arms as his eyes narrowed. "I just had a thought," he finally said. "He could be a member of a commando unit having parachuted in the area just before we found him, which could explain why there were others. Or, and this may be far-fetched, but he could be either an escaped prisoner-of-war or has since been captured and is currently a prisoner-of-war."

"A POW?" Hans asked with raised eyebrows. "You can't be serious, Henrik."

"I didn't say it was a certainty. I said a possibility. There is one way to eliminate that angle at least."

"What's that?" asked Fritz finding the thought of a prisoner-of-war an interesting hypothesis.

"There is a POW camp near where the bridge blew up. A Stalag 13 I think. It's run by a Colonel Wilhelm Klink. We can start our search there. It's the only Luftstalag within walking distance of that bridge. So that's where we will begin looking." He watched as the other two looked at each other before turning back to him. He smirked. "It also brings up another interesting possibility. **If** our man is there, then he has a way of getting in and out of the camp without being detected. And if that's the case, we may also come across something much bigger."

Hans and Fritz each looked at the other as what Henrik said registered. They thought about what it could mean for their careers if they indeed found the American they sought in the POW camp. It could mean a promotion for all of them, maybe even a medal. They both turned back to Henrik.

"But if he is in Stalag 13 and he convinces somebody there of what we did, he would have to admit he was outside the wire when it happened. I don't see a prisoner-of-war admitting he was outside of a prison camp," said Fritz. "He would get into serious trouble."

"If our man is there and intelligent enough to be able to have a means of getting in and out of camp undetected, I'm sure he would put some kind of spin on his story to make it appear it happened in a way so as not to reveal he was outside the wire." He saw Hans and Fritz agree with him.

"How do we get into Stalag 13?" asked Hans, puzzled. "They won't pay any attention to two Sergeants and a Corporal."

"But they will to a high-ranking officer," replied Henrik. Seeing the puzzled expressions, he continued. "I think I have it figured out. But I will need to get hold of an officer's uniform. You and Fritz can remain a Sergeant and Corporal for this."

"You're going to pretend to be an officer?" asked Fritz, amazed.

"Exactly," said Henrik with a cunning smile. "And if we find our man there, we'll then figure out a way to remove him from the camp and dispose of him after he entertains us. But first, we will put the fear of God into him." Then with smiles, the three men picked up their beer mugs and clinked them together in a sort of celebratory move.

* * *

Newkirk sat in a chair beside Hogan's bed watching his Colonel with clasped hands hanging between his knees and arms resting on his thighs. Hogan was sleeping again and for that the Englander was grateful. He looked at his hands. It pained him to see his commander in such distress. If they had only gotten there sooner they could've stopped those animals from doing what they did to the finest man Newkirk had ever known. He wondered once Hogan recovered, would he ever be the same again.

The Englander thought about what he'd like to do to the surviving three guards when they finally caught them. He would make them rue the day they ever set eyes on Colonel Hogan. Newkirk knew he was not one to wantonly kill someone except when his own life was on the line, or those of his friends. But in this case, he would make an exception.

"Don't you worry none, Gov'nor," Newkirk said softly so as not to awaken the sleeping officer. "When we find those bloody monsters, we'll make sure they never hurt you again. I promise you that." He paused when he saw Hogan shift positions. When he had quieted down again, Newkirk resumed speaking. "I let you down, Colonel. I should've been watching your back and didn't. I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry I wasn't there when they caught you. If I had been, what they did to you would never have happened. I'm sorry, Colonel. I truly am."

"Ummmm," Hogan suddenly murmured. He was becoming restless.

_He recalled laughter, plenty of laughter, all at his expense. His shoulders hurt so much from fingers digging into them painfully. He recalled trying to free his hands which only intensified what was happening._

"Ummmm," Hogan murmured again, becoming agitated. He was now tossing and turning. Newkirk got to his feet and knelt beside the bunk. He wanted to comfort his commander but after what happened with LeBeau and Carter, he was afraid to touch him.

"Colonel. Colonel Hogan, wake up. Wake up, Gov'nor. You're havin' a ruddy nightmare again. Please wake up, sir."

_They were hurting him. All of them. The pain. He was being torn apart. He wanted to kill all of them. Make them pay for what they were doing. The pain was unbearable. He recalled the guard called Henrik kneeling in front of him._

"_Enjoying yourself, swine?" he asked. He remembered the laugh. That evil laugh._

"_Nein? We must make sure you do then. Reinhold, our friend here is not enjoying himself. Seeing as he asked for it, we must make sure he gets some pleasure out of it. See what you and Hans can do to accommodate him." The pain increased after that. They were…they were…_

"No!" Hogan cried out bolting upright in bed again, burying his face in his hands. His entire body was shaking.

Newkirk's heart ached for his commanding officer. "I'm here, Colonel. I'm right here. You're not alone." He looked up at the sound of the door opening to see Kinch, Carter and LeBeau standing in the doorway. "He had another nightmare," was all he said.

The others quietly entered and closed the door. "We thought as much," Kinch said solemnly. He approached the bunk as well and sat down on the foot of it mindful not to touch the Colonel who didn't seem to acknowledge their presence. His face was still buried in his hands.

"Colonel, it's Kinch. You're safe now, sir. Nobody's gonna hurt you. We won't let them. Just try and take it easy."

Newkirk licked his dry lips. "Colonel, did you remember something?"

Hogan slowly looked up this time as his hands fell in to his lap. He looked so weary. Slowly, he turned his face towards the Englander. "I'm not sure," he said in a strained voice. "Somebody was asking me if I was enjoying myself. Imagine somebody asking if I enjoyed pain."

Kinch and Newkirk exchanged looks; each could see the smoldering anger in the other's eyes. "What else, Colonel?" asked Kinch gently, fighting to control his anger.

"There was laughter. And pain. So much pain. Somebody was digging their fingers into my shoulders. And I remember somebody saying I asked for it."

Kinch glanced at LeBeau and Carter and could see Hogan's words had an impact on them as well. Glancing at Newkirk, Kinch chose his words carefully. "Colonel, listen to me. Whatever was done to you, I'm positive you did not ask for it. You were a victim of something that was done against your will."

"I know, Kinch," Hogan looked dejected at not being able to remember more. "I mean, who would ask to be hurt? And why would these guards even think such a thing?"

"Gov'nor, listen to us," Newkirk began. "I'm sure whatever happened before we found you wasn't your fault. Do you remember anything else, sir?"

Hogan thought about it for a few seconds. "No," he finally said. "Nothing else." He looked up at the men beside him and in front of him. "I'll be all right," he lied.

"Mon Colonel, lunch is almost ready," LeBeau announced hoping to change the subject seeing how depressed his commander was. "I hope you are hungry. I made it especially for you."

"I'm not very hungry, LeBeau," Hogan replied. He saw the disappointment on the Frenchman's face. He allowed a faint smile to appear. "However, whatever you're making does smells delicious. What is it by the way?"

LeBeau's frown changed into a smile. "It is pot-au-feu, mon Colonel. You'll love it!" He kissed his fingertips and made a smacking noise for emphasis.

Carter looked at the Frenchman, confused. "What is pot a what?"

LeBeau rolled his eyes, offended. "Pot-au-feu, peasant. Beef stew."

"Oh. Well why didn't you just say so in the first place instead of that pot a whatever."

"Never mind," LeBeau replied.

Hogan found himself smiling slightly at the exchange between the duo. He missed being able to participate in these things. But with his outbursts of uncontrollable rage, he couldn't take the chance. It was bad enough his team had been witness to it, but it would frighten the others in the barracks, and he just couldn't take that chance. A frown suddenly appeared on his face.

"What's wrong, Colonel?" asked Kinch.

"Not being able to remember what happened to me is one," Hogan was dejected. "My sudden outbursts of rage for another. And I miss the interaction with my men."

"You'll have that again, sir," Carter replied quietly. "You just have to give yourself time."

"Carter's right, Colonel," Newkirk added. "Give yourself some time. You know some things can't be rushed. We're sure you'll eventually remember whatever it is."

Hogan allowed a smirk. "I just wish I could be as confident as you guys," he said. "I just have a funny feeling that when I finally do remember I'm gonna wish I hadn't."

"Why do you think that, sir?" asked Kinch, worried about what would happen when Hogan finally did remember. He and the others all knew it was just a matter of time.

Hogan shrugged and then winced from the twinge in his shoulders. He massaged first one shoulder and then the other. "I don't know. It's just a feeling I have. I…" He didn't finish as an image flashed in his mind. _Hands were on him, fingers digging deeply into his shoulders. Painfully digging into his shoulders. _Hogan squeezed his eyes shut and slightly turned his head as the flashback continued. _Hands digging into his shoulders as they…as they…_

"No!" Hogan's eyes flew open. He seemed to be in a panic. The flashback ended. He noticed the men watching him with deep concern.

"Colonel?" asked Kinch. "You remember something?"

"Hands on my shoulders. Fingers digging into my shoulders painfully. Then it ended."

Kinch and Newkirk exchanged looks but said nothing. Fortunately, Hogan, in his current frame of mind, hadn't noticed.

Hogan buried his face in his hands. "Damn!" he muttered. "Why can't I remember what happened?! Why?!"

Kinch, looking at LeBeau and Carter, motioned with his head for them to leave him and Newkirk alone with the Colonel. Reluctantly, the two men left the room. Once they were gone, Kinch let out a deep breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He looked at Hogan. "Colonel, look at me. Please, sir." Hogan slowly looked up at his second-in-command. "Sir, don't push yourself. It'll come to you in time. You just have to be patient. If it's meant for you to remember what happened, then you will remember." Secretly Kinch hoped Hogan would never remember the assault on his person. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Kinch said. The door opened and LeBeau reappeared holding a tray on which sat a bowl of beef stew and a glass of water.

"Lunch, Colonel," he said entering the room. LeBeau placed the tray on Hogan's lap. "Enjoy."

Kinch and Newkirk got to their feet and prepared to follow LeBeau out the door. "We'll go and let you eat in peace, Colonel," said Newkirk softly. "We'll be right outside if you need anything." They started out the door when Hogan suddenly called out.

"Guys?"

The three of them turned. "Yes, Colonel?" said Kinch.

"Thanks for putting up with me while I try and figure out what happened."

"No problem, sir," Newkirk added with a smile. "What're friends for if you can't depend on 'em?" The then followed the others out and closed the door.

* * *

The guys sat quietly at the table trying to eat LeBeau's stew. They were depressed over the Colonel. Finally, Newkirk, who had just been pushing the pieces of meat around on his plate, spoke up.

"I'm tellin' you, Kinch, I came this close to puttin' me hand on the Gov'nor's shoulder to wake him up when he was havin' his nightmare," he held his thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart. "I had to force meself not to knowin' how he'd react."

"I know what you mean," Kinch replied. He'd only eaten half of what was on his plate. "I just wish there was some way to help him. But other than talking to 'im, I can't see us doing anything else."

"I know one thing, mes amis," LeBeau added. "I shudder to think what will happen to the Colonel when he finally remembers what happened to him."

"You're right about that, Louie," Newkirk said. "The Gov'nor's got so much built-up anger in 'im right now I don't know how we're gonna be able to help 'im if he doesn't release it soon."

"But how can we help Colonel Hogan get rid of his anger if every time somebody puts a hand on him he lashes out?" asks Carter.

"One thing that might help him is catching those bastards who assaulted him for starters," Kinch said.

"That reminds me, mate. Anything more from the underground on 'em?"

"Baker's monitoring the radio. I told him to let us know immediately if there's any news. I'll be relieving him in a few hours." Kinch sighed. "After we get the background info on these guys, then we can make plans for the first one we go after."

"Maybe knowing those guards aren't gonna be able to hurt him anymore will help Colonel Hogan release all that anger he has inside," said Carter.

"Maybe it will, Andrew," Kinch replied. "We can hope anyway. But that still leaves us with another problem."

"What's that?" asked Carter.

"What do we do if regardless of everything, the Colonel isn't the same man he was before the attack. I mean, what if he doesn't have the strength in him to bounce back this time?"

The others exchanged looks but nobody answered because none of them even wanted to think about that possibility.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Henrik, Fritz and Hans returned to duty after lunch still pondering over what they were going to do to find the American. Henrik secretly checked around and found the uniform of an SS General that had just come back from the cleaners hanging in the office of General Schmidt that Henrik figured was just about his size. Also, the General was recovering in the hospital from a bullet wound to his abdomen and would be out of commission for quite awhile. He removed it and hid it in his locker inside his duffel bag. He would take it home with him tonight. Having a day off tomorrow, he would wear the uniform and drive to Stalag 13. He had passed word to Fritz and Hans they were to call in sick so they could come with him. He just had a feeling that the American was within his grasp.

Fritz was becoming excited at the prospect of maybe finding their mysterious American in, of all places, a POW camp. He thought it would be a first. He understood that Henrik and Hans were not interested so much in how their man got in and out of camp, providing he was there to begin with, as they were in silencing him to avoid the harsh punishment they would suffer if what they did were to become known. But they looked upon finding that out as only the 'icing on the cake' so to speak, as he believed the Americans phrased it. It was secondary to the main reason for their visit to Stalag 13.

Hans was just as excited as the young Sergeant. He would call in sick early in the morning with Fritz two or three hours later. Then they were to meet Henrik at an agreed to rendezvous place where he would be waiting with a staff car 'which had been 'borrowed' by a friend who didn't ask questions. He was excited at the prospect of possibly finding their man there and then later working out a plan to get him out of the camp and dispose of him. He also knew, like Fritz and Henrik, that if the American **was** there, it could lead to bigger things for them; like how the American got in and out of camp without being caught. If he wasn't there, the chances of finding him would be more difficult.

* * *

Hogan lay awake in his bed on his back staring at the bottom of the bunk above. He had his hands clasped behind his head. He had noticed and acknowledged every discolored stain and lump in the bottom of the mattress several times over as a means of trying to take his mind off his inability to recall what happened. He was rapidly becoming extremely frustrated at not being able to remember anything. Hearing a sound Hogan raised his head slightly, looking up. Sergeant Joe Wilson stood in the doorway holding his medical bag.

"You want something, Joe?" Hogan asked quietly.

"Yes, Colonel," Wilson replied calmly. "I need to examine you again and check your injuries. How do you feel?"

Hogan shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I mean, my shoulders ache still, as does my butt and wrists. And my leg throbs some.

Sitting his bag on the desk, Wilson opened it and removed a syringe and a vial. He filled the syringe. He noticed Hogan watching him intently.

"What's the syringe for, Joe?" he asked nervously. "I thought you were only going to examine me."

"I am," the medic replied checking the now filled syringe. "But considering your reactions to having LeBeau and Carter touch you, I am going to sedate you so I can conduct my examination without having my nose broken."

"Not more needles, Joe," Hogan groaned. "I'm starting to feel like a pin cushion." He rolled up his sleeve.

"Any additional memories return to you yet, Colonel?" the medic asked.

"If you're asking if I've remembered what happened the answer is no." Hogan watched as Wilson wiped down the area on his arm with alcohol and then insert the needle into Hogan's arm and inject the sedative. He wiped down the area again before disposing of the alcohol wet cotton ball and the now empty syringe. Then, the medic sat and waited as Hogan slid down onto his bunk. He soon felt sleepy and before long, his eyes closed and darkness overtook him. Waiting an extra few minutes Wilson proceeded to re-examine Hogan's injuries.

* * *

Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk were seated at the table their eyes periodically looking in the direction of the closed door to the Colonel's private quarters. Newkirk leaned in along with the others. "Kinch, you said you had some info from the underground on these blokes?"

Kinch, removing his notebook, flipped it open. "Yeah. This Fritz Weidman has an older brother, an SS Colonel named Baer Weidman. Is currently believed to be MIA at the Russian front. Hans Reinhard has two sisters, one older one named Ursa Reinhard Zimmer; husband is General Rudolf Zimmer, a big wig in Gestapo headquarters in Dusseldorf. His other sister is younger, named Greta Reinhard who's engaged to an SS Colonel named Szell Bachman. And finally, Sergeant Henrik Drapper. He has two brothers one in the SS named Hermann Drapper; the other is with the Wehrmach named Otto Drapper. There's a description of each family member as well."

"Hmmm," Newkirk remarked, scratching his chin. "Listening to that info, I'd say this Fritz Weidman is the one we start off with."

"I agree," Kinch chimed in. "We can use the info regarding his missing brother to trip him up and catch him." Kinch and Newkirk both looked at LeBeau.

"Oui, count me in." Then, the three of them looked finally at Carter.

"I'm in," he agreed finally.

"It's settled, then," Newkirk said. "We go after this Sergeant Fritz Weidman first. And God help 'im." The Englander calmly lit a cigarette.

"When do we make our move, mon ami?" asked LeBeau looking at Kinch eagerly.

"Tomorrow evening right after roll call," Kinch explained closing his notebook and tucking it back in his jacket pocket. "Newkirk, immediately after roll call, I want you and Carter go into SS headquarters and inquire about Sergeant Weidman. This will be for reconnaissance only. You'll be a Major, and Carter will be your aide and a Lieutenant. We'll go over the details tomorrow." Kinch's eyes shifted causing the others to look around. Wilson was emerging from Hogan's room closing the door behind him. Noticing the others looking at him, he walked over to the table and wearily sat down, putting his bag beside him on the bench. LeBeau got up and poured a half-cup of coffee and handed it to the medic before sitting down again. The men waited for Wilson to take a drink of coffee.

"I see you're still in one piece," said Kinch finally. "How's Colonel Hogan?"

Wilson grinned. "I sedated him before my examination," he said. "I told him after what happened with Carter and LeBeau I wasn't going to take any chances. He didn't argue with me about it." He took another sip of coffee.

"And?" asked Newkirk.

Wilson wrapped his hands around his coffee cup. "Well, his wrists are healing nicely as is the bullet wound to his leg. I changed the bandages on both. I also treated the bruises on his shoulders. All of them are healing nicely and there should be no permanent scaring."

"What about the other injury?" asked Kinch gently.

"That seems to be healing nicely as well. The bleeding has stopped completely and the tears and abrasions are beginning to heal. But he'll continue to be sore for awhile still. Right now he's still sleeping. I gave him enough of the sedative so he should sleep for hours. He also received injections of penicillin and a pain med." Wilson stared into his coffee for a long moment before he asked the next question. "Has he remembered anything else since I last saw him?"

"Bits and pieces. Nothin' major," Newkirk added. "He still has no recollection of what was done to 'im."

"But he's still having nightmares and flashbacks," Carter chimed in. "It's really scary when he talks about what he remembers."

"If it's scary just for you to listen to, Andrew," Wilson began. "Just think how it feels to Colonel Hogan to talk about it and even more frightening because he can't remember what happened yet. But just let me point out something. Once the Colonel totally remembers what happened, he may not want to talk about it right away, if ever."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Carter. "He knows we're here for 'im. He can talk to us 'bout anything."

"He knows that, Carter," Wilson explained. "But what was done to him is not something he would normally experience. He's going to be humiliated, ashamed and embarrassed about what happened. He'll even feel that way when he finds out you guys know the truth. If he doesn't want to talk about it don't force him to. When and if he's ready, he will. You'll have to be more patient with him this time than you've ever been in the past. Just be there for him as I know you guys will." He finished his coffee and got up. Kinch glanced quickly at the others before he got up himself.

"Joe, can I talk to you for a few minutes? Privately."

"Sure. Follow me outside." The two men walked out of the barracks and Kinch sat down on the bench outside and motioned for Wilson to join him. Kinch clasped his hands and let them fall between his knees with arms resting on his thighs. He was trying to organize his thoughts before he spoke. The medic sensed something was troubling the radioman.

"Something troubling you, Kinch? If it's got to do with Colonel Hogan, physically he'll recover. Mentally, in time, I feel he'll recover as well."

"Oh I know that, Joe," Kinch began his eyes staring out into the near empty compound. "It's not about the Colonel. Not directly anyway."

Wilson was now concerned. "Then what is it? Kinch, you can tell me anything."

Letting out a deep breath, Kinch turned to the medic. "I never told anybody about this before, Joe. Not even Colonel Hogan. So, I would appreciate it if you'd keep what I'm about to tell you just between the two of us."

"If that's what you want, sure." Wilson waited until Kinch was ready.

"I was about thirteen years old and living in Detroit with my mother and uncle. My father had been dead about two years in a car accident. I adored my uncle Ivan. My middle name was chosen after him. In fact, he was a huge help to my mother, my two sisters, three brothers and me. I was the second youngest of all of 'em. Anyway, one night, my mother had to go out to work at her second job. She had to take a night job in order meet expenses along with her day job. Money was very tight. Anyway, she went to work one night and she asked Uncle Ivan to baby-sit us until she returned home in the morning." Kinch paused at that point and lowered his head, rubbing his hands together while still between his knees.

Wilson's eyes narrowed. He had an idea where this story was going. But he didn't push or pry. He'd let Kinch continue at his own pace.

Kinch let out another deep breath before he continued. "For the first couple of days everything was great. Uncle Ivan would play games with us, read to us, allow us to stay up an extra hour and watch television. It was really fun with Uncle Ivan around. Only my baby sister Patricia seemed to be afraid of him. Whenever I asked her about it, she would never say anything. But she kept her distance from him and whenever she went into her room, she always locked her door. I just couldn't figure out why because I thought he was a pretty neat guy, y'know. Then one night, just after my mom went to work, Uncle Ivan held my hand and we walked upstairs to my room and after putting me in bed, he tucked me in, but he didn't leave like he usually did. Instead, he sat down on the edge of my bed and put his hand under the blanket covering me and slid his hand inside my pajama bottom and touched me. This went on for hours until I uh, responded to what he was doing. All over my pajamas, sheet and blanket. Even though I didn't understand, I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had messed up my pajamas and bedding. But Uncle Ivan cleaned everything up, had me take a bath and threatened that nobody would believe me if I told them because he was so respected. So, I kept quiet about it."

Wilson had been quiet until then. "Was he ever caught and arrested?"

"Eventually. But not until my mom came home early one night and caught him with my sister Pat. Seems he had been molesting her for months. Then I told what he did to me. He was arrested, tried and jailed. He died in jail several years later."

"I'm sorry, Kinch," Wilson replied resting a hand of the radioman's shoulder. With a slight smile, Kinch looked up at him. "That's rough when it's somebody you love who betrays your trust that way. And you were just a little kid. He had no right to do something so despicable."

"I recovered all right from the experience. My mom had me and Pat talk with our family minister about what happened. He helped us both tremendously. Pat's now happily married with a family." He paused again and looked at Wilson with narrowed eyes. "The reason I mentioned this to you, Joe, is that when we found the Colonel after the attack, I began to wonder if he might have responded. Now, there's no proof he responded to what was being done to him. I understand this. But Joe, considering what happened to me when I was attacked, I suspect that the Colonel might have, y'know. But again, maybe not. What will happen when the Colonel finally remembers and recalls that he did respond to their attack? He's going to feel more ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated than he already will. How do we help him then?"

Wilson sighed and folded his arms and stretched out his legs. The back of his head resting against the barracks wall. After a few minutes, the medic turned and faced the Sergeant. "Kinch, if as you say the Colonel responded during the assault on his person, he will be deeply ashamed and humiliated because to him, he will have lost control. Also, he'll probably never discuss that he lost control. It would be too embarrassing for him. All I can suggest is to listen if and when he should tell you."

"I just feel that if he knew that responding during something like that wasn't his fault and that he couldn't have prevented it, it might ease his mind somehow."

"Perhaps. But I wouldn't push it or try and get him to discuss it. He may never discuss that part of the assault. He might take the knowledge that he did to his grave rather than admit to anyone that he lost control. See, Kinch, losing control is an involuntary physiological reaction, and the attacker tries very hard to have their victims respond because to succeed at that, it symbolizes to the attacker his complete sexual control over their victim's body. It's this aspect of the attack that is most stressful and embarrassing to the victim."

Kinch sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Joe. I just wish I could roll back the days so that what happened to him never happened at all."

"I know how you feel." Wilson said with a weary sigh. "But unfortunately we can't. I'm curious though. How come you never told anybody about what happened when you were a child."

Kinch shrugged. "Don't know. Never came up I guess." He suddenly looked at the medic again. "What if after the Colonel remembers what happened, I then tell him what happened to me so this way, if he did respond during the attack, he would know it wasn't his fault and that he couldn't control his reaction anymore than I could."

"Kinch, I can't tell you to tell him and I can't tell you not to. This is your call. You'll have to decide. All I can tell you is not to be shocked or disappointed if he doesn't ever want to talk about it. That's all I'm saying. Also, I wouldn't discuss this possibility with any of the men, and that includes LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk."

Kinch slowly nodded. He allowed a sad smile on his face as he got to his feet and held out his hand to the medic who shook it. "I wouldn't anyway. It's only my suspicion after all. Thanks, Joe. I'll keep in mind what you said. Guess I'll have to play this by ear."

"You're welcome. Just remember, Kinch. Should you ever need someone to talk to about either this or if what happened to Colonel Hogan brought back some painful memories for you, you can always come to me and talk about it."

"I will. And thanks again." Kinch stepped over Wilson's outstretched legs and entered the barracks leaving Wilson sitting outside enjoying what was left of the warm afternoon sun.

* * *

Kinch reentered the common room and noticed Newkirk and Cater seated at the table. "Where's LeBeau?" he asked.

"He's sitting with Colonel Hogan," Newkirk replied.

Acknowledging that information, Kinch grabbed his coffee cup from the table and poured himself a half cup of coffee before sitting down. Taking a sip of the now warm coffee, he saw Newkirk watching him.

"Something I can do for you, Newkirk?" he asked.

Newkirk took a drag on his cigarette. "No. You just looked a little down. Thought somethin' might be wrong is all."

"I'm okay. Really. Got a lot on my mind. I just needed to discuss something with Joe about Colonel Hogan and is there anything else we can do other than what we've been doing for him."

"What'd he say, mate?" asked the Englander, sensing his friend was not being honest with him, but not pushing him.

"Joe said other than talking with him and being there when he finally does remember, there's not much else we can do for 'im."

Newkirk looked at his watch. It was nearing three p.m. "Maybe during dinner we should go over what we're gonna do tomorrow after evening roll call."

"I agree. This has to be planned exactly," Kinch said. "We can't afford any slip-ups with this."

* * *

"Ummmm," Hogan muttered as LeBeau sat in the chair beside the bed. "Ummmm." He was becoming restless.

"Mon Colonel," LeBeau said softly suspecting his commander was having another nightmare. "Please wake up, mon Colonel. Please!"

Hogan began to toss and turn. His fingers gripped the blanket covering him so tightly his knuckles were turning white. "Don't! Bastards! If I could just get my hands free I'd kill each of them!" he muttered still asleep.

LeBeau was beginning to panic. He slowly got to his feet, then knelt beside the bed. He reached out to grip one of Hogan's hands, but pulled his hand back when he remembered what happened the last time he innocently touched the Colonel. "Mon Colonel," he whispered. "You must hear me, and wake up. You are having a cauchemar. A nightmare. Please wake up!"

"You're all dead men! All of you! I'll kill you!" Hogan muttered as he tossed and turned restlessly. "If I could just free my hands!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_The pain was up there with the worst pain he had ever endured as a prisoner. He strained to free his hands as the assault continued. He started to feel the belt binding his hands loosen just a bit. He kept straining and felt the belt loosen even further. Suddenly, he was able to snap the belt apart and free his hands. He rolled over dislodging the guard who was assaulting him, got him in a choke hold, and twisted his neck hearing the bones snap like kindling. He snatched up the dead guard's rifle and fired before the others could get over their shock at the sudden turn of events. Once the four were dead, he dropped the rifle on the ground and…_

"Ummmm," Hogan murmured again twisting the blanket in his white knuckles. LeBeau could only stand there watching, frightened.

_The laughter could still be heard. They were laughing at the guard assaulting him. He strained to free his hands from the restraint. Fingers digging painfully into his shoulders. Laughter. Something happened. He felt himself lose control. Yet the laughter continued. Suddenly his hands were free and he rolled over while at the same time getting the guard assaulting him in a choke hold and violently twisted his head until he head the man's neck snap like a twig. Next thing he knew a rifle was in his hands and bullets flying at the other three guards until they all lay dead at his feet._

"Dead," Hogan murmured. "I killed them all. Bastards all dead."

Scared, LeBeau yanked open the door of Hogan's room and quickly waved the others over. He closed the door once Kinch, Newkirk and Carter were inside. They watched Hogan toss and turn, gripping the blanket so tightly his knuckles were white. "Dead," he murmured. "All dead. Killed them all."

"He's been like this for five minutes," said LeBeau. "I'm afraid to touch him and wake him. But when I talk to him he won't wake up."

Kinch quietly sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for the others to stay back. Then, he put a hand on Hogan's shoulder and gently shook it. "Colonel, wake up. Colonel Hogan. Wake up, sir."

"No! All dead! Must kill all of them! Must die! Don't touch me!"

Kinch gently shook his shoulder again. "Colonel Hogan, wake up!" he said a bit louder this time. Hogan's eyes suddenly shot open and a fist swung in Kinch's direction. But the ex-golden gloves boxer was quick enough to block the fist by gently yet firmly grabbing Hogan's arm just above his injured wrist. He also did the same with his other arm before he could use it. He saw Hogan looking at him as if he didn't recognize him.

"Get your damn hands off of me!" he shouted. "I'll kill you, you bastard!" Hogan struggled to break Kinch's grip on him. "I'll kill you!"

"Colonel, it's me. Kinch! Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. You've got to calm down, sir. Please!"

Hogan suddenly stopped struggling and allowed his body to go limp. He was breathing heavily. "Kinch? Is that really you?"

"Yeah, Colonel. It's me. You were having another nightmare and frightened LeBeau. He got the rest of us. You were crying out for somebody not to touch you and you were gonna kill them. And that all of them must die."

Hogan's eyes narrowed. "I did? I don't remember yelling anything. But I do remember one thing." He paused and looked at Kinch. "I think you can let my arms go, Kinch. I promise I won't punch you if that's what you're worried about." He sighed as the radioman released the Colonel's arms allowing his hands to fall onto his waist. Hogan slowly slid himself into a sitting position and slid back on the bed until his back was up against the wall. He struggled to find a comfortable position. "God I wish my butt wasn't so damn sore. Kinch, are you sure that rock I hit didn't have sharp edges?"

"Positive, Colonel," Kinch replied.

"You said you remembered something, Colonel?" asked LeBeau.

"Yeah," Hogan replied massaging his forehead. He found if he lay partially on one hip his butt wasn't so sore. "I remember killing the four guards who captured me. I somehow got free of my restraint and broke the neck of one of them as he was torturing me. Then I snatched his rifle and shot the other three."

"You killed them all, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk.

"I did. And oddly, I enjoyed doing it. I wanted to kill them. All of them. I had to make sure they all died for what they did to me."

"Have you remembered yet what it is they did?" asked Kinch.

Hogan shook his head. "Other than them using my belt to restrain me, not a clue. All I know is that I had to kill them. I wanted to kill them."

"Gee, Colonel," Carter muttered softly with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. "Whatever they did must've been pretty bad for you to want to kill them." He noticed the other three giving him dirty looks that didn't go unnoticed by Hogan.

"Why are all of you giving Carter dirty looks?"

Kinch sighed. "We just didn't want Carter putting ideas in your head when right now you don't remember what happened. If it turns out it was something bad, we'll deal with together. If not, we'll still deal with it together."

Hogan let out a deep breath and allowed a small smile to appear. "Thanks, Kinch."

The radioman smiled in return. "No sweat, Colonel. We're all in this together. Whatever was done to you we'll help you figure it out. Meanwhile, is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yeah, there is one thing," Hogan said. "Start at the beginning and tell me again what happened from the time I arrived at the bridge until I woke up back here in my quarters. Maybe hearing it again will trigger something."

Kinch looked at the other three. "There no sense in all of us being in here. LeBeau, go get dinner started. Carter, you and Newkirk wait outside. I'll tell the Colonel everything that happened." He noticed the other three reluctantly leave the room. Now alone with Hogan, Kinch repeated everything that had happened except for two important details; one being how he and Newkirk had first found Hogan with the button on his waistband undone, and two, that Wilson's exam had shown he had been assaulted sexually by more than one man. Kinch felt Hogan couldn't handle knowing either of these things right now.

Hogan looked at his second-in-command. "Kinch, I don't know why, but I have a strange feeling there's something you aren't telling me. And not just you. But the other guys and Wilson also."

Kinch feigned surprise. He cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know what makes you say that, Colonel," he said. "We found you after whatever it was those guards did. We shot and killed the one who was about to shoot you and the others ran. And as far as Wilson goes, he's treated your bullet wound to your leg, your wrists and shoulders. The only reason he sedates you prior to his examinations is because he doesn't want to get punched out by you."

Hogan's eyes narrowed as he slid down onto the paper thin mattress with one arm bent under his head. "I'm kinda tired, Kinch. Think I'll take a short nap. Wake me when dinner is ready, will you?"

"Sure, Colonel," replied Kinch getting up. He headed towards the door and with a glance over his shoulder, walked out of the room.

Now alone, Hogan thought about what Kinch had said. He felt Kinch had told him something without meaning to. _Kinch said they shot and killed one of the guards who was about to kill me, _Hogan told himself._ That tells me I was about to be possibly executed. He also said the others ran._ _But I'm positive there's something else. If I could just remember what it is._

* * *

Fritz, Hans and Henrik all met for dinner and beer at the Hofbrau to plan what they would do the next day.

"I have the uniform of a General," Henrik said with a smirk. "And I have a day off tomorrow so I don't have a problem. Just remember, both of you must call in sick tomorrow and wait for me at the selected rendezvous spot where I'll pick you both up in a staff car."

Fritz raised his eyebrows. "Staff car? Who's staff car?"

Henrik smirked. "I have a friend who asks no questions and he 'borrowed' it so to speak. Hans, you will be my driver, and Fritz, you will sit beside him in the front passenger seat. From what I know of this Colonel Klink, he is afraid of his own shadow, so we should have no trouble manipulating him."

"What reason do we give for being there if he should ask?" Hans asked.

"Easy. We are on our way to SS headquarters having been newly assigned there. We have never seen a POW camp before and as we had to pass by Stalag 13, we thought we would stop in and have a look. He can't refuse us especially since I will outrank him." He chuckled at the thought as did the others.

"Something just occurred to me, Henrik," Fritz said. "If this American is there, how do we locate him in the camp?"

"That could be a problem. But I think it can be solved. We'll just ask for a tour of the entire camp. This way we will get to hopefully see all the prisoners there." He took a sip of his beer and wiped the foam from his mouth. "And if he's there, we'll put the fear of God into him and make sure he'll keep his mouth shut."

"I thought we were going to find a way to get him out of the camp and silence him?" asked Hans, puzzled.

"We are. But not tomorrow. First we see if he's there. If he is, we'll make sure to scare him into being quiet. Then later, we'll figure out how to get him out of camp and take him somewhere where we can take our time with him while he entertains us again and then we'll dispose of him permanently." He then raised his beer mug. "Here's to tomorrow and may luck be with us." The others, smiling, raised their mugs as well, and they all clinked them in a toast.

* * *

_Pain. So much pain. And the laughter. All directed at him. Fingers digging painfully into his shoulders. He recalled gritting his teeth to keep from making any sound from the pain when something was shoved in his mouth gagging him. If he could just get his hands free from the restraint, he would deal with all of them. He'd kill them all! He felt his body was being torn apart!_

"_Are you enjoying yourself, swine?" asked the guard known as Henrik, kneeling in front of him. "Nein? Well, we must make sure you do. Reinhold, our friend here is not enjoying himself. And seeing as he asked for it, we must see he at least gets some pleasure from it. See what you and Hans can do to accommodate_ _our friend here."_

_The intensity of the assault made him cry out. He was being torn apart._

"Ummmm_," _Hogan squirmed as he tightly gripped the blanket again and twisted it practically into knots. "Not enjoying pain. Stop the pain. No more pain."

_Suddenly his hands were free somehow. He turned and grabbed the guard named Reinhold in a choke hold and violently twisted his head until he heard the neck snap._ _Then he snatched the rifle from a stunned Henrik and shot the other three execution style. As they lay dead at his feet, he felt his body relax and the anger flow out of him as if someone had pulled a plug. He crumbled to the ground in a sitting position, dropping the rifle beside him, and buried his face in his hands. He had gotten revenge on his attackers._

Hogan sat up with a start, sweat beaded on his forehead. He looked at his hands and saw them shaking. _What's happening to me?_ Hogan asked himself._ I feel like I'm losing my mind._ He knew he couldn't let the men see him reacting this way; they would be deeply concerned and scared. Hogan felt he wasn't their responsibility. It wasn't their job to take care of him. _C'mon, Hogan. You gotta get a grip on yourself._ The Colonel sensed that would be easier said than done. Throwing back the blanket, Hogan carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed until his feet touched the floor. Despite how tired he felt and was, he needed to get up. So, placing a hand on his footlocker, Hogan forced himself to his feet. He immediately grimaced from the pain in his right leg. He staggered and fell back on the bed. Of course, the moment he landed back on the bed he again grimaced from the soreness from his butt. Dejected, Hogan slid back onto the bed and lay again on his side.

* * *

Kinch, Carter, and Newkirk were seated at the table with LeBeau at the stove, preparing dinner. It was the Colonel's favorite, chicken cordon bleu. The little Frenchman hoped that by preparing Hogan's favorite dish, it would cheer him up even if just a little bit.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow night, Kinch?" asked Newkirk.

"Okay. Just keep in mind this is reconnaissance mission only. You and Carter are going to let it be known that there is news on Sergeant Weidman's brother Baer who's been listed as MIA at the Russian front and you are trying to track down the Sergeant. If he's there, just touch base with him and let him know you'll get back to him when you have more news. If he's not there, find out what you can about him. But don't arouse any suspicion. And under no circumstances are either of you to take him prisoner if he's there. Also, make sure you take note of the best way to get him alone where we can later grab him and take care of him. Understood?"

"Understood, mate," Newkirk replied taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Gotcha," Carter chimed in. "Who do we say we are anyway?**"**

"Carter, you'll be Lieutenant Randolf Eichmann and the aide to Major Erik Hindman," Kinch explained motioning with his chin towards Newkirk.

LeBeau looked over his shoulder at the others. "What if this Sergeant Weidman becomes suspicious of Newkirk and Carter?" he asked. "It could be dangerous as they will be inside SS headquarters."

"That's why they're not going to force the issue. Just get in, find out what you can, and get out," Kinch advised them. "We don't need any heroes."

"Dinner will be ready shortly," LeBeau announced. "I hope everybody's hungry. I made the Colonel's favorite."

"Smells like chicken cordon bleu, LeBeau," Kinch remarked.

"Oui. I hope the Colonel will be hungry. I am so worried about his appetite. He has not eaten much since he got back."

"I know," Newkirk said. "But I'm more concerned 'bout what's gonna happen when he finally remembers everything. He could end up havin' a ruddy nervous breakdown."

"Colonel Hogan's stronger than that, Newkirk," Carter replied, trying to sound hopeful. "I mean, he can handle anything that's thrown at him. He always has. He'll bounce back this time as well. You'll see."

Newkirk rolled his eyes as he looked at his best friend. "Carter, how can you be so bloody hopeful about this?"

Carter shrugged. "Because if I think anything else then we're gonna lose Colonel Hogan for sure. So I figure if I think positive thoughts, then he'll bounce back. He has to, Newkirk. He just has to."

The Englander's eyes softened. "We're gonna do everything we can to make sure he does, Andrew. Everything."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** **This chapter has an explicit scene in it.**

**Chapter 9**

Morning roll call came and went without incident. The prisoners of barracks two fell out in formation while Schultz checked Hogan's quarters and found the Colonel there, apparently asleep. Quietly closing the door to the small room, Hogan opened his eyes and glanced at the closed door. He hadn't been asleep, but just had his eyes closed not wanting Schultz to try and engage him in conversation. With his explosive temper, Hogan knew he just couldn't take the chance the rotund guard might put a hand on him even in a friendly manner. So Hogan felt it would be better if Schultz thought he was asleep.

Returning outside the barracks, Schultz found the rest of the prisoners of barracks two lining up in formation. He had just finished counting when Kommandant Klink was seen emerging from the Kommandantur.

"Schuuuuuuultz! Repooooooooort!" Klink bellowed loudly.

Schultz turned and exchanged salutes with the Kommandant. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for. And Colonel Hogan is in his quarters asleep."

Klink looked at Kinch. "Sergeant Kinchloe, how is Colonel Hogan?"

Kinch could tell Klink was sincere in asking. "He's doing a bit better, sir. But he's still very sick. Sergeant Wilson's been checking him twice a day."

"Make sure I'm kept informed of Colonel Hogan's condition, Sergeant Kinchloe," Klink said. "My offer to have him transferred to the local hospital still stands."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. We'll keep that in mind."

Klink looked at Schultz and was about to order him to dismiss his prisoners when he spotted a black staff car driving through the front gates. A worried look appeared on his face. He glanced over his shoulder at Schultz. "Schultz, what is the SS doing here?"

"Herr Kommandant, I know noth-ing. Noth-ing!"

"Why does that not surprise me," Klink explained wearily. He and Schultz both approached the staff car as it parked in front of the Kommandantur. Schultz hurriedly opened the rear passenger door and, standing at attention, saluted as a General climbed out of the back seat. Klink immediately came to attention as well and saluted. The Sergeant and Corporal in the front seat both got out as well. The General glanced around before his eyes focused on the man in front of him. He saluted. "At ease, Colonel…."

"Klink, General. Wilhelm Klink. And you are?"

"I am SS General Rudolf Jaeger. These two men are Sergeant Mueller and Corporal Steger."

"Let me say it's a pleasure to have such an important visitor as you, General Jaeger," Klink responded over-eagerly. "And to what do we owe the honor of your visit?"

"We have just been assigned to SS headquarters in this area, and we had to pass by Stalag 13. And as we have never seen an actual prisoner-of-war camp in person, we decided to stop by and visit." He looked around and his eyes fell on the prisoners still standing in formation outside barracks two. "I hope we didn't interrupt roll call, Colonel," it was more of a statement than a question.

"Oh, no, sir. In fact, we had just finished roll call. My Sergeant here, Sergeant Schultz, was about to dismiss the men."

Jaeger nodded. "Would it be all right with you if I inspect your prisoners before you dismiss them, Colonel?"

Klink motioned with his hand in the direction of barracks two. "I would be honored for the General to do so." He led the way towards barracks two.

* * *

Kinch, standing in Hogan's place beside Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter watched the visitors approaching. Kinch spoke without turning. "Don't ask me why," he said in a low voice. "But there's something about those guys."

Newkirk rubbed his chin. "I know what you mean, mate. They look bloody familiar to me too. I just can't place 'em."

"Who do you think they are and why are they here?" asked Carter, leaning close to Kinch.

"Smells like trouble to me," LeBeau mumbled.

"Watch it," Newkirk suddenly said. "Here they come."

Klink and Schultz stood before the prisoners with the guests nearby. "Prisoners, this is General Jaeger of the SS and two of his men. They are here to observe the camp. I expect your cooperation or it'll be thirty days in the cooler for anyone who doesn't." He looked at Kinch. "Sergeant Kinchloe, step forward please."

Kinch hesitated for a moment before stepping forward, looking at Klink. He saluted the Kommandant. "Acting Senior POW Sergeant James Kinchloe reporting as ordered, sir."

Klink, smiling nervously, looked at the General. "General, Sergeant Kinchloe will accompany us on a tour of the camp."

"Perhaps later, Klink." The General stared at Kinch. He thought the negro Sergeant looked familiar. He looked at Klink. "You said this man is the acting Senior POW?"

"Yes, General. Our regular Senior POW officer, Colonel Hogan, is sick with pneumonia right now."

"Ah, that is most unfortunate," Jaeger replied, glancing back over his shoulder at the other two men before turning back to the Kommandant. "Is he up to having visitors, Colonel?"

"Sergeant Kinchloe, is Colonel Hogan well enough to spare the General a few minutes?" asked Klink.

Kinch looked over his shoulder at the others. He could tell from their faces they were thinking the same thing. Something wasn't right here. Knowing the Colonel was ill and they still wanted to see him? Why? Licking his dry lips, Kinch turned back to the Kommandant. "I'm afraid not, sir. Sergeant Wilson has limited the people who can have contact with the Colonel. He's still very sick. Wouldn't want the General to catch anything, would you, Kommandant?"

Klink shuddered nervously. "He's right, General. I wouldn't want you to become ill especially when you've just been assigned to SS headquarters."

Jaeger smiled. "I'm not concerned, Colonel. Besides, I've never met an enemy officer before. It would be very interesting to speak with one despite him being ill. Surely he can spare us, say, five, ten minutes."

"General…" Kinch began before being interrupted by Klink.

"Sergeant Kinchloe, if the General wants to speak with Colonel Hogan than you will allow it. Surely five or ten minutes will not cause any problems for Hogan. Besides, I wish to speak with you in my office, and your men will clean up the camp effective immediately."

"But Kommandant…"

"I don't want to hear any arguments, Sergeant!" Klink reiterated. "Now have the men clean up the camp and they're not to miss a single shred of trash. And you are to report to my office immediately."

"Yes, sir," Kinch replied, defeated. Kinch turned to the men. "Okay, guys. You heard the Kommandant. Clean up this camp and don't miss anything. We want this place spotless."

The men, grumbling, walked past Kinch. As they did, Kinch stood and waited for the Kommandant. Klink looked at his guests.

"General Jaeger. While you're visiting with Colonel Hogan, your men are welcome to come to…."

"That is not necessary, Klink. My men always stay with me. They are very, how would you say, protective."

"I understand completely," Klink said with a smile. "When you're done, I would be honored if you and your men would come to my office for some refreshment."

"We would be honored, Colonel. Danke." He watched Klink walk away with Kinch reluctantly following. The radioman felt extremely uncomfortable and worried. If one of those visitors was to even touch Hogan's hand, with the Colonel's outbursts of late, there would be serious trouble. But other than what he had already tried, he couldn't justify why they couldn't see the Colonel. All he could hope for now is that whatever Klink wanted to see him about would be quick so he could return to the barracks. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the General and the other two enter barracks two.

* * *

Having entered the barracks, Jaeger and the others looked around the empty room before the General noticed a door in the far corner. He pointed to it wondering if that was the private room of the Senior POW officer. Approaching, the General opened the door and walked in with the others behind him. The door was closed behind them. At the sound of the door to his room opening, Hogan opened his eyes and turned his head at the intrusion.

"So," Jaeger said with a smile. "It's Colonel Hogan." He grinned at the others who grinned back. "Didn't think we'd see you again so soon."

Hogan's eyes narrowed. "See me again? I don't understand, General. We've never met before."

Jaeger raised his eyebrows, curiously. "You couldn't have forgotten us already, Colonel."

Hogan suddenly felt there was something familiar about these men; yet, he didn't believe he knew them.

"You must have mistaken me for someone else, General. I've never seen you before in my entire life. And in case you aren't aware, I am ill with pneumonia so I suggest you might want to leave, and don't let the door hit you on the way out."

It suddenly dawned on Jaeger that Hogan didn't remember what had been done to him or even remember them. A knowing smile appeared. "Apparently you don't remember us, so, we're just going to have to help you remember. Oh, by the way, Reinhold sends his regards."

A moment of recognition of the name was evident on the Colonel's face. "That name is familiar to me. But I'm afraid I still don't…" he paused as the three men moved closer to the bunk. Hogan's mind suddenly remembered one of the guards calling out the name Reinhold, as he struggled to remember these three men. He was about to open his mouth again when the three men pounced on him. Two of the men each grabbed one of his arms tightly, not caring they were roughly gripping the bandaged areas. The General sat on the edge of the bunk with a wicked grin. Hogan fought like a wild animal to break free of the men holding him down. He began to lash out angrily with his feet hoping to kick them. "Take your damn hands off of me!" he shouted. "I'll kill you bastards! I'll see you all dead! Get off of me! Now!" As his feet lashed out the two guards climbed onto the bed and pinned the Colonel on his back by putting their weight on his legs. He winced when one of them made contact with the injury to his right leg. Both men acknowledged Hogan was extremely strong and although pinned down was still putting up quite a fight.

"Not again!" Hogan shouted. "Not again! I'll kill you!" The General covered Hogan's mouth with one hand. The bunk began to creak from the added weight of four bodies on it.

The General leaned close to Hogan's face. "I am Sergeant Drapper, Colonel. And you recognize Sergeant Weidman and Corporal Reinard. You entertained us quite nicely the first time we caught you in the woods. The four of us had a lot of fun with you. Unfortunately, Corporal Mueller is dead now." Henrik could see the fear in Hogan's eyes, and uncovered his mouth. "We're here to make sure you tell nobody what happened in the woods."

Hogan's eyes flashed dangerously. He reached back and spit in Henrik's face. The guard viciously slapped Hogan across the face twice; once with his palm, then with a backhand, before wiping the spittle from his face. He roughly put his hand over Hogan's mouth again. "I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, Colonel." He then slid his other hand down under Hogan's pajama bottoms. "You see, Colonel. You responded when we had sex with you in the woods." He slid his hand further down reaching for a certain part of the Colonel's anatomy. "Your response excited us very much. In other words, Colonel, you lost control. And before we leave this room, you will lose control again." His hand, finding what it sought, wrapped itself around Hogan's penis and began to stroke it. The Colonel, still struggling to break free, stiffened at the touch and tried to break free without success. The more he tried to get away, the tighter the grip was on his arms and legs, and the more pain he felt in his wrists and injured leg. Henrik chuckled. "I'm going to make you respond before we leave. And after you do, you'll be so humiliated and ashamed at losing control again, and feel so dirty, you won't want anybody to know what happened. Do you like how this feels, Colonel?" He continued pumping his hand up and down and enjoyed Hogan's struggle to maintain control this time as well as his continued struggle to break free.

* * *

Carter had managed to slip away from the cleanup detail without anybody noticing. Or if they did notice they didn't say anything. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that something was wrong and it had to do with their three visitors. And considering what had happened to the Colonel a few days ago with SS guards, the fact that these three visitors were SS made him even more nervous. In fact, as Carter had walked around the compound picking up trash, he kept looking at barracks two. He knew it had been more than ten minutes since those three men had entered the barracks and he couldn't help but worry about Colonel Hogan. He would just check and make sure he was all right, and if he was, return to picking up the trash. Looking around to make sure nobody was watching, Carter opened the barracks door and walked in, closing the door. He headed directly to Hogan's quarters but paused outside the closed door.

Suppose the Colonel was sleeping and he just hadn't seen the three visitors leave? What if he disturbed the Colonel? But he was positive he hadn't seen the three men leave. He figured he would just take a quick look inside, and if the Colonel was alone and sleeping, he would quietly close the door. Satisfied with his decision, Carter reached out, grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw what was happening. The three Germans, startled, looked up at the intruder.

"Get your damn hands off Colonel Hogan!" Carter shouted angrily. "Leave him alone!" He then ran forward and seized the man he knew as General Jaeger, and roughly with all his strength, pulled him away from the Colonel, shoving him against the desk. "Now I know who your are!" Carter raged. "You're those three SS creeps who assaulted the Colonel."

He was suddenly grabbed from behind by one of the two guards who were pinning down the Colonel. But Carter stomped hard on the guard's instep causing him to loosen his hold on the young Sergeant. Hogan, now having one arm free, struggled with the remaining guard trying to keep him pinned down on the bed. He glanced momentarily at Carter, fear in his eyes.

"Carter! Run!" Hogan yelled. "Get out of here!" Seeing the General and the guard he had stomped on the foot of advancing towards him, Carter quickly turned and, yanking open the door, raced into the common room. He knew he had to get Kinch, LeBeau and Newkirk.

But instead of pursuing Carter, the three Germans turned their attention back to Hogan who by now appeared to be in shock, staring blankly into space. Henrik motioned for the others to follow him. "We'd best get out of here," he said. "That one called Carter will bring others. Let's go." He glanced one last time at the Colonel. He smirked. "I don't think Colonel Hogan will be talking to anybody about anything." He then followed the others out of the barracks and the three men hurried to their parked car and got inside just as Klink and Kinch stepped onto the porch. Before Klink could say anything, the staff car pulled away and headed in the direction of the front gates.

By the time Kinch and Klink saw Carter, Newkirk, and LeBeau running towards them from the far end of the camp, the staff car had already passed through the front gates.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Kinch and Klink watched Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau, who they thought were running in their direction suddenly detour and head directly towards barracks two.

"What is going on here?!" Klink demanded watching the gates close behind the staff car.

"I'll tell you as soon as I know, Kommandant!" Kinch shouted as he raced down the steps and headed to the barracks himself. He suddenly had a bad feeling that something was terribly amiss and whatever it was involved Colonel Hogan. The four men reached the barracks at just about the same time. "What's wrong?" asked a scared Kinch.

"Carter walked into the Gov'nor's quarters concerned about 'im and caught that bloody general with his hands on the Gov'nor!" Newkirk gasped, opening the door of the barracks at the same time.

"Oh God!" Kinch uttered as they hurried to the colonel's quarters and opened the door. What they saw not only stunned them, but broke their hearts.

Hogan was sitting up in bed, his face buried in his hands. He didn't look up or even acknowledge their presence in his doorway. The men noticed blood spots on the gauze around his wrists as well as on the right pajama leg.

"Colonel, you are hurt!" said a frightened LeBeau. "What did those filthy Bosche do to you?"

"Go away," Hogan muttered, keeping his face buried. "Just go away and leave me alone. Please, guys. I need some time to myself for a while."

"Colonel, you need to have Wilson take a look at you. Your leg and wrists injuries are bleeding." Newkirk began softly.

"Just go."

"But Colonel…" Kinch began.

"I don't want to talk about it! Just leave!"

"Yes, sir," Kinch replied. "We'll be right outside if you need anything."

Hogan didn't reply or give any indication he had even heard what his radioman said. But his body language told them the colonel was very upset; upset and angry. The men left the room, closing the door quietly. As they silently walked towards the table to sit down, Kinch looked at the Frenchman.

"LeBeau, go get Wilson and tell him to come right away but don't give him any details. Just bring him here. I'll fill him in when he gets here."

"Oui. Right away," LeBeau replied. He quickly left the barracks as the others sat down at the table. Kinch and Newkirk looked at still shaken Carter.

"Andrew, start at the beginning and tell us exactly what you saw," said Kinch.

"Do I have to?" Carter asked nervously. "If you don't mind, I'd rather forget the entire thing."

Newkirk gently touched the young sergeant's arm. "Andrew, whether you realize it or not, you saved the Gov'nor from those bloody bastards. But if we're gonna help him, we need to know exactly what you saw and what happened. So, can you tell us, mate?"

Carter looked at both of his friends and was about to open his mouth when the barracks door opened and LeBeau, followed by Wilson, walked in.

"What's happened, Kinch?" the medic asked. "All LeBeau would tell me was that you needed to see me. Has something happened to the colonel?"

"Yeah, it did. To make a long story short, we had three visitors from the SS stop here. They wanted to see the colonel despite hearing he was sick with pneumonia. Carter walked in and found two of them holding him down with the third one touching him in an inappropriate way."

"Damn!" Wilson muttered angrily. "Did they hurt him?"

"We don't think so. Not that way anyway. But his wrists and leg wound are bleeding, and we wanted you to take a look at him."

"I'll do that right now and let you know what I find." Wilson headed in the direction of the private quarters. They watched him knock on the door. He knocked again after a few minutes. Then, gripping the doorknob and twisting it, Wilson opened the door and entered, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Wilson stood with his back against the door. Hogan had not moved from when the men had last seen him and his face was still buried in his hands.

"Colonel, it's Wilson."

"Go away and leave me alone."

"I'm here to examine your injuries to your wrists and leg. I notice the blood spots."

"No examination. No nothing. Just get out and leave me alone."

Wilson slowly made his way toward the colonel's desk and placed his medical bag on top. Opening it, he removed his stethoscope. "Colonel, Kinch told me about your visitors. Do you want to…"

"I don't want to talk about it! I told you to get out and leave me the hell alone!"

"Colonel…" Wilson put a hand on Hogan's shoulder and felt his body stiffen from his touch. The colonel looked up glaring at the medic. Wilson could see the burning rage smoldering in Hogan's eyes, and knew he'd better be careful. "I have to treat your injuries, sir."

"Joe, you all lied to me! You and my men!"

Wilson had a feeling to what Hogan was referring, but wasn't about to take any chances if he was wrong. "What are you talking about? Lied to you about what?"

Hogan found himself shouting now. "Don't stand there and pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. All of you knew what happened to me and you lied." Wilson's guilty expression didn't escape Hogan's eyes. "That's right. I remember everything! Even if I could understand the men keeping it from me, that's no excuse for you, Joe. None at all." Hogan's face turned a deep crimson. "Just get out and leave me alone!"

"Colonel…"

"I said I don't want to talk about it! What part of get out and leave me alone don't you understand, Sergeant!?"

Wilson let out a deep breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Slowly, he pulled out the chair from Hogan's desk and sat down facing the bed. He put the stethoscope on the desk. "Fine. You don't have to talk then, just listen. Colonel, I'm sorry we lied about what happened to you, but don't blame the men." Wilson rested his arms on his thighs allowing his clasped hands to dangle between his knees. "But how were we suppose to tell you the truth? How? In my opinion you weren't capable of handling that knowledge so I thought it was better if it was kept from you at that point and advised the men to do the same. But Colonel, you have to understand we did what we thought best to protect you at least for a while. You'd been both brutalized and traumatized. Were we suppose to add to that by telling you what happened? I think not. So, in my opinion, I thought it best to let you heal physically and mentally and hoped you'd remember yourself before we had to tell you. If we were wrong in caring enough to want to protect you from possibly having a complete mental breakdown by not telling you at that exact time, then blame me. Your men went along with my decision. Now, if you still want me to leave I will right after I check your leg and wrists." When Wilson got no response from Hogan, he decided to give it a few additional minutes. He then saw Hogan slowly turn and look at him.

"I suppose this was why you had to sedate me whenever you examined me?" Hogan asked, his tone still bitter.

Wilson rubbed his hands together. "Yes. But mainly because with your outbursts of anger whenever somebody touched you, I didn't want to get punched out while doing my job."

"I suppose the entire camp knows?"

"No, sir. Only your team. They decided to keep it that way."

"How much do they know about what happened?"

Wilson paused a moment. "Everything."

"Oh God," Hogan muttered. He was embarrassed, humiliated, and ashamed enough remembering the assault itself, but to now know his men knew what happened was too much to handle. He pinched the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. Wilson could only imagine what the Colonel was feeling right now.

"Colonel, they're livid over what was done to you both in the woods and here. What was done to you was done strictly for the amusement of four sick individuals who thought it would be entertaining for them."

Hogan seemed to be mulling over what the medic had told him. Finally, he let out a deep breath. "Sergeant, could you have the guys come in. I need to see them."

"I will, Colonel. I promise. But first, I'd like to check you over and re-wrap those wrists and check your leg. I'd also like to check your other injuries."

"Fine." Hogan snapped. He then saw Wilson preparing to fill a syringe. "There's no need for the sedative."

Wilson put the syringe and vial on the table and picked up his stethoscope. "I'm gonna take your word for it right now, Colonel. But I'm going to check all your injuries regardless. So prepare yourself."

* * *

"Damn them!" Newkirk declared slamming his fist onto the table after Carter had told them what he had seen. "Of all the bloody gall to waltz right into this camp and attack the Gov'nor again like that."

LeBeau let loose a string of French obscenities.

Kinch scratched his chin. "I don't think they came here just to attack the Colonel. I think there was another motive."

"What other motive could there be than trying to rape the Colonel again?!" asked LeBeau.

"Think about it. They came all the way to Stalag 13 with one of them disguised as an SS General. They heard the Colonel was sick but insisted on seeing him anyway. Why? There was no need for them to see him. My guess? I think they were purposely looking for the Colonel with the express purpose to make sure he didn't tell anybody what they had done."

"I don't understand," said a confused Carter. "I mean, who's gonna believe a prisoner of war was sexually assaulted by a German other than other prisoners of war?"

"I think, Andrew, that these guys are afraid that the Colonel just might find someone to believe his story without admitting he was outside the wire when it happened," explained Kinch. "And the punishment for that by a German guard is sterilization because the Krauts would look at a guard who did something like that as being homosexual. I think they were hoping to get him to remain quiet and probably figure by attacking him again it would make him too humiliated and embarrassed to say anything. I also think they hoped to scare him."

Newkirk smirked. "It's obvious they don't know our colonel at all."

"Oui, but it may not stop there," said LeBeau with a frightened look. "Since Carter interrupted them in the Colonel's quarters, they might think what they did was not enough to ensure his silence."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying,?" asked Carter. "I mean, you don't think they'd…"

"Oui, I do. I believe they were looking for the colonel and now that they found him here, I think there's a possibility they might intend to kill him to assure his silence."

Newkirk and Kinch both looked at each other and then at LeBeau. The little Frenchman could tell from their eyes the same thought had occurred to them. Only Carter was having a hard time accepting what the Frenchman had said.

"And now that they know he's here, they probably also guessed he has a way of getting in and out of this camp without detection," the Englander remarked.

"And that makes them dangerous to the operation," Kinch added. "In addition to being a danger to Colonel Hogan."

"They definitely must die now," LeBeau said seriously. "We have no choice anymore."

"I agree," Kinch said.

"Wait a minute, guys," Carter interrupted them. "All this talk about definitely killing them and everything is fine for you guys. But did anybody stop and think whether these guys recognized any of us from that night? I mean, that general sure looked at you Kinch like he recognized you. And if he did, wouldn't it be risky for me and Newkirk to go into SS headquarters now?"

"He's got a point, mate," Newkirk looked at the radioman. "That general was looking at you like he thought he'd seen you before."

Kinch scratched his chin. "Carter, when you entered Colonel Hogan's quarters, did you have a feeling any of those guys recognized you from before?"

Carter shook his head. "Not that I could tell. They seemed totally unaware of who I was."

Kinch nodded. "I don't think they recognized anyone, possibly not even me. And you and Newkirk will be in disguise. And the two of you speak the best German of all of us. But it's up to you guys. If you and Newkirk would prefer we have someone from the underground go instead I'll make a call right now. I won't force you two to do this, but you have to let me know now."

Newkirk and Carter looked at each other for a long moment. The Englander saw Carter nod at him before he turned and looked at Kinch. "We'll do it, Kinch. It was bad enough what they did to the Gov'nor in the woods, but when they came here and attempted to do it again, those bastards crossed the line thinking they could come onto our turf, so to speak, and get away with it."

"Plus nobody hurts Colonel Hogan while we're around. Do they Newkirk?" asked Carter in a child-like voice.

"Damn right they don't, mate," Newkirk replied with a grim smile.

They stopped talking when the door to Hogan's quarters opened and Wilson emerged. He closed the door and approached the table with four pairs of worried eyes staring at him.

"Relax," the medic said resting his bag on the table. "He'll be fine. The stitches in his leg wound ripped and his wrists had to be re-wrapped. The bruises on his shoulders and the abrasions and tears are healing nicely. I would go so far as to say the soreness he feels should be gone in a day or two. And I didn't have to sedate him this time. He stiffened when I touched him, but for the most part he didn't lash out. I think now that he's aware of what happened to him helped there, although I don't approve of how he found out." He noticed the men relax at hearing his words. "He also wants to see the four of you. He's very angry right now, especially at you guys for not telling him what happened, but I told him I was the reason you didn't tell him, and I suggest it stay that way. I'll report to Colonel Klink and then be back later this evening and check on him again." He grabbed his bag and left after the men gave their thanks.

The men all looked at each other nervously before they slowly got to their feet and walked towards the closed door. Kinch knocked. He opened the door when they heard the voice on the other end bid them to enter. They entered quietly. Hogan was still sitting up with his back against the paper-thin pillow, fresh gauze wrapped around his wrists.

"Close the door," Hogan ordered tersely. "I don't want anybody to hear our conversation." He waited until Newkirk had closed the door; then, the four men came closer to the bed. "Have a seat. I promise I won't bite."

Not able to even smile at their commander's attempt at dry humor, the men all found places to sit and wait for Hogan to begin. They could tell from his face he was angry and suspected they were in for it. But all they could do was wait.

"Take your time, mon Colonel," LeBeau stated with a slight smile. "We're in no hurry."

Hogan glared at all of them, but momentarily smiled as his eyes fell on Carter. "Carter, I am so sorry you saw what was happening. But I do thank you for helping me."

Carter, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, looked down at the floor as he shuffled his feet. He shrugged his shoulders and looked up. "Gee, Colonel. You can't protect me from everything. I mean, we're at war. And in a war there's always the ugly side of things. Even I know that. Besides, you don't have to thank me. I mean, I couldn't let them do that to you again. Not after the last time. They had no right. Nobody has any right to do that to anybody."

"But still, Carter…"

"Colonel, it's okay. Really. Don't worry about it. Besides, I know there's more good guys in this war than bad guys anyway," he said with a child-like grin.

"How are you doing, sir?" asked Kinch. "I mean really doing?"

Hogan's eyes hardened again and his voice cold. "I'm all right," he lied. "But never mind how I'm doing. You men had no right to keep the truth from me. Absolutely no right! I could have handled knowing what happened. You had no right to determine what I could and could not handle!"

Newkirk rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "Colonel, we didn't mean to keep the truth from you. We just thought…"

"That's just it, Newkirk. You didn't! None of you did! I'm not a child that has to be protected from bad news. I suggest you keep that in mind! Do we understand each other!?"

"Colonel," Kinch began, then saw Hogan's face. "Yes, sir. We're sorry, sir."

"Good!" Hogan said, now a bit depressed. "I suggest all of you leave me alone right now."

The men silently got to their feet and left the small room, closing the door behind them. Alone, Hogan let out a deep breath and leaned the back of his head against the wall with arms wrapped around him.

Standing outside the closed door, LeBeau, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk all paused and exchanged worried looks. Words did not have to be spoken for each of them to worry that what happened to their commander had not only changed him, but that he might never again be the man they knew.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

After evening roll call, Kinch and LeBeau retreated to the tunnels below to check on Carter and Newkirk as they finished dressing in SS officer uniforms. Newkirk, dressed as an SS Major, was checking his gray hair, matching mustache and glasses in the mirror while Carter, already in the uniform of an SS Lieutenant, was busy applying the finishing touches to the blond hair-coloring that would match his blond mustache when LeBeau and Kinch approached.

Turning, Newkirk and Carter looked at the two men. "Well, how do we look, mate?" he asked.

"If I had a gun and saw both of you, I'd shoot," the Frenchman joked.

"Bloody charming," Newkirk replied with a roll of his eyes. "Hey Kinch, who's sitting with the Gov'nor?"

"Wilson. The Colonel's still angry but he's sleeping right now. Hopefully he won't awaken before both you of get back. I'd hate to have to explain to him where you and Carter went."

Carter looked up. "I'd hate to be on the receiving end after he finds out where Newkirk and I went. Boy, if you thought he was mad before…"

"We get the idea, Carter," Newkirk interrupted. "Not need to paint a bleedin' picture for us."

"Sorry," Carter apologized.

"Okay," Kinch said earnestly. "Just remember. This is a reconnaissance mission only. If Weidman is there don't hang around. If he isn't, find out what you can. We need to find a way to get him alone so we can grab him. The truck is waiting in the woods for you. Just remember, when you get back make sure to set the odometer back to where it is now."

Newkirk glanced back at Carter who nodded that he was ready. "Gotcha, mate." He then looked at Carter and in his best German voice said "Achtung! We will be late lieutenant. Let us leave now!"

"Jawohl, Herr Major," Carter replied.

"Good luck, mes amis," LeBeau said as the two men walked out of the changing room to the ladder leading to the emergency tunnel.

* * *

In the Hofbrau, Hans, Fritz and Henrik sat around a table drinking beer and talking about the events of earlier in the day.

"So our man is an American Army Colonel," Hans said, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. He looked at Henrik. "So what happens now?"

Henrik took a drink of beer and wiped his mouth. "Nothing's changed. We must get him out of that camp and silence him permanently. I don't want to take any chances he might still talk."

"What about finding out how he got back into the camp after he got out?" asked Fritz. "Shouldn't we find out first how he did it without being found out before we kill him? Having that kind of information could prove useful to our careers, especially if that knowledge leads to something bigger. Like perhaps an entire sabotage operation of some kind. I've heard there's been a lot of underground activity in that area and the Gestapo hasn't been able to prove anything. This Colonel Hogan could be a key of some kind."

Henrik scratched his chin. "I must admit, Fritz, it would be interesting to uncover just how he gets in and out of Stalag 13 without being caught. And it could result in a medal for each of us."

"So how do we find out for sure?" asked Hans.

"Whatever we do, we must be careful. I have one brother in the Wehrmacht and another in the Gestapo. I could have the one in the Gestapo go into Stalag 13 undercover and pull this Colonel Hogan out on the premise that he is being brought in for questioning. Herman could then turn him over to me. He need not know the reason why."

"Would he do it if you asked him?" asked Hans.

Henrik shrugged. "I don't know. He's on leave right now and won't be back for another three days. It could be risky waiting that long." He took another drink of beer and again wiped his mouth. "There could be another way."

Hans and Fritz looked at each other briefly before turning their attention back to Henrik.

"You have an idea, Henrik?" asked Fritz eagerly.

"Perhaps. Prisoner-of-war camps often send prisoners out to do repair work on roads or cut down trees for firewood. And whenever the prisoners do that, they usually go out under guard from the camp, and the Senior POW officer goes with them sort of to keep an eye on his men so to speak."

"So?" asked Fritz. "How does that help us?"

Henrik smirked. "This Colonel Hogan would go out with his men. If we could find out when and where, we could show up and arrest him claiming he is under arrest for suspicion of sabotage activities. The guards wouldn't dare interfere with the SS."

"But what about that negro sergeant we met who was the Acting Senior POW? Suppose he goes out with the men instead?"

"You mean Sergeant Kinchloe, I think his name was. No problem. If that should happen, we will simply return to Stalag 13 instead as we did this morning and arrest him there using the same premise. By the time Sergeant Kinchloe returns, we'll be long gone with Colonel Hogan. And after we kill him, we'll simply tell the Kommandant Colonel Hogan was shot while trying to escape. He won't argue and nobody will ever know except possibly Sergeant Kinchloe. But he can be dealt with also. After all, Colonel Hogan couldn't have acted alone now could he?"

"We're going to have fun with a negro, Henrik?" Hans asked with a look of distaste on his face.

"Never! No. Him we would simply execute. But Colonel Hogan is another matter." Henrik grinned. The others saw his grin and smiled themselves as they knew what Henrik was thinking.

"What have you got in mind?" asked Fritz excitedly.

"Once we get Colonel Hogan, we will take him someplace where we cannot be interrupted and he will never be found. Then, we will keep him restrained and have plenty of fun with him as often as we want even if we have to use some imagination while we interrogate him to find out how he gets out of camp. And it won't matter how long we need to obtain that information because in the end, he will either beg us to kill him, or we'll just kill him anyway to keep him quiet even if he tells us nothing."

The three guards raised their glasses and clinked them together to celebrate. After they all took a big swig of beer, Henrik checked his watch. "Fritz, call headquarters and tell them we will be in an hour late tomorrow."

"Why are we going to be late in the morning?" asked Hans.

"Because we have plans to make for grabbing Colonel Hogan."

* * *

After parking the truck outside SS headquarters, Carter and Newkirk got out. (1)They hesitated and looked at the ominous-looking building with it's two guards posted outside.

Newkirk pretended to scratch his chin. "Ready Carter?" he said in very low voice.

"Whenever you are," was the reply.

"Then let's go." Newkirk and Carter then walked up the steps and inside the building. The place looked just as ominous inside as it did outside with it's dreary gray walls. It reminded Newkirk of a jail he was in once during his wild days as a teen in London after he'd been caught picking the pocket of a businessman who happened to move as he'd been lifting his wallet. Actually, Newkirk thought, the jail looked better. He and Carter walked up to the desk at the middle of the hall where a sergeant sat apparently working on paperwork. They walked up to the desk and noticed the sergeant look up as their footsteps getting closer. He saluted immediately.

"Guten Abend, gentlemen. May I be of assistance?"

"Guten Abend, Sergeant," Newkirk replied in his best German authoritative voice. "I am Major Hindman and this is my aide, Lieutenant Eichmann."

"Guten Abend," Carter said with a smile.

"We are from SS headquarters in Berlin. We are looking for a Sergeant Weidman. Is he here by any chance?" asked Newkirk.

"Nein, Herr Major. He left about an hour ago. Perhaps I can help you in some way?"

"Nein, Sergeant…."

"Decker, sir."

"That is all right, Sergeant Decker. We can come back in the morning and see him. But tell us, Sergeant, what is that Sergeant Weidman like."

"What is he like, Herr Major?"

"Ja. We want to make sure we have the right Sergeant Weidman. It concerns an SS Colonel. What is his name Lieutenant?"

Carter removed his notebook and opening it, flipped through two or three pages. Weidman, Herr Major. Colonel Baer Weidman."

Sergeant Decker's eyes widened. "Jawohl, that is Fritz's brother. He has been missing in action at the Russian front."

Carter looked at Newkirk. "Then I guess we have the right man, Herr Major."

"It would seem so, Lieutenant. We wanted to see him this evening. We have wonderful news for him and …" He was interrupted by the ringing of the phone on Decker's desk. The Sergeant picked up the receiver. "Excuse me for a moment, bitte."

"Guten Abend. Gestapo headquarters. Sergeant Decker." A smile broke out on his face. "Fritz, I'm glad you called. There are two men here from Berlin."

Newkirk and Carter looked nervously at each other. But before Newkirk could tell Sergeant Decker not to mention anything about their visit, it was too late.

"They have news about your brother Baer. You'll be here within the hour? Excellent. I see. You, Hans and Henrik will be an hour late tomorrow. I will relay your message. See you soon, Fritz. Auf wiedersehen." He hung up. He returned his look at Newkirk and Carter. "Good news. That was Sergeant Weidman. He was very excited when I told him the news. He will be here within the hour and asks that you gentlemen will wait for him."

Carter looked at Newkirk with a 'what do we do now' look. Not expecting this curve ball to be thrown their way, Newkirk said the only thing he could. "Excellent. We will wait. Is there someplace we could perhaps wait for him privately?"

"Unfortunately, all the offices are locked at this hour or are occupied. However, if you want, there is a bench by the wall near the door. You can sit there and wait."

Newkirk looked over near the door and spotted the bench and how close it was to the front doors. He looked back at Decker. "Danke, Sergeant. We will wait." He then motioned with his head for Carter to keep quiet and follow him. They walked down the hall and sat down on the bench to wait.

"Newkirk, what are we doing?" asked Carter nervously. "We're suppose to be doing reconnaissance only."

"Carter, how could we turn around and say we **can't** see Weidman after we just said we **needed** to see him. That sergeant over there might have become suspicious. We're just gonna have to deviate from the original plan a bit."

* * *

Fritz returned to the table where Henrik and Hans were drinking a second mug of beer. His mood was immediately noticed by the others.

"What is it, Fritz?" asked Hans, concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"Nein. There are two men from Berlin to see me," he explained, apparently excited. "They have news of my brother, Baer. I was told by Sergeant Decker. I must leave. They are waiting for me in SS headquarters."

Hans and Henrik exchanged surprised looks and then looked at their comrade. They both knew Fritz had been trying for months to find out news on his older brother who was missing in action on the Russian front.

"That is wonderful news, Fritz," Hans exclaimed. "Henrik and I are very happy for you."

"Ja. I hope they have good news for you." Henrik said. He thought for a moment. "Would you like us to accompany you back to SS headquarters?"

"Nein. There is no need. Stay here and enjoy yourselves. After all, you have plans to make and besides, if the news is not good, I would want to be alone for a while. Surely you can understand that."

"Ja, we can, Fritz," said Henrik. "But we will pray it is good news."

"Danke. Oh. I told the sergeant we will be an hour late in the morning. Who knows, we might have something else to celebrate besides capturing Colonel Hogan. But now I must go. Auf wiedersehen." Not waiting for a reply, the young Sergeant rushed out of the Hofbrau leaving his two friends with their beers and plans.

* * *

Newkirk checked his watch. Nearly thirty minutes had passed since he and Carter had heard that Sergeant Fritz Weidman would be returning to SS headquarters to see them. He sighed wearily.

"How much longer are we going to wait, Newkirk? Kinch and LeBeau are gonna start getting worried. And if Colonel Hogan wakes up before we get back and asks about us, we're all gonna get it."

"We'll give the bloody Kraut fifteen more minutes and then we make our apologies and leave. Now stop your yammerin', will you. I need to think."

Fifteen more minutes passed with no sign of the Sergeant. Newkirk motioned for Carter to follow as he got up. They both walked up to the desk again. Sergeant Decker looked up.

"Something wrong, Major?" Decker asked.

"Ja. We have waited forty-five minutes. I'm afraid we cannot wait any longer. Please give Sergeant Weidman…" he paused as Decker eyes shifted from him to something down the hall.

"He has just come in, Major."

Newkirk and Carter both turned and saw Weidman hurrying in their direction. Newkirk and Carter exchanged looks, hoping Weidman didn't recognize them despite the disguises.

Finally, a slightly winded Weidman reached the waiting men. "I hurried as fast as I could, Major. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?" He didn't seem to recognize them causing Newkirk and Carter both to heave a silent sigh of relief.

Newkirk smiled warmly despite wanting to wrap his hands around Weidman's neck for what he had helped do to Colonel Hogan. But he swallowed his rising anger and nausea and maintained a warm smile. "Not at all, Sergeant. Glad you could make it. The lieutenant and I were about to leave. I am Major Hindman and my aide is Lieutenant Eichmann. But please. Take a few minutes and catch your breath."

Weidman nodded and smiled, grateful for a few minutes to collect himself. After awhile, he nodded that he was okay.

"I'm fine now. Danke. Now, I understand you have news of my brother, Colonel Baer Weidman?"

"Ja, that is correct, Sergeant," said Newkirk. _Blimey, I'd like to break your bleedin' neck, you ruddy Kraut bastard._ "Your brother has been found alive and was transferred to a hospital here in Hammelburg from Berlin after he was badly wounded at the Russian front. We came here to bring you to the hospital where he is so the two of you can be reunited."

"I don't understand something," Weidman said, eyes narrowing. "How come I wasn't contacted directly when my brother was found? Why did someone from Berlin have to come and get me? I mean, my brother knows where I am."

"I know he does, Sergeant. But you see, he was badly injured and has been unconscious since his injury. Also, from what we understand, he had no identification on him when he was found. The hospital he was in contacted us by mistake when they saw his dog tags, and after a little checking, we found out he had a brother and where you were located. And here we are."

"Is he in a coma then?" Weidman asked, worried.

"That I cannot answer. But the doctor in charge of his care will explain everything to you and answer any questions you may have. But we must hurry. The doctor caring for your brother will only wait a while longer. We spoke with him before we came here. He promised to wait for two more hours only. So, we must leave immediately."

"Then what are we waiting for," Weidman answered, smiling.

"Unfortunately, our car broke down en-route here and we commandeered a truck. It is parked outside. I'm afraid you will have to ride in the back with me. Is that all right?"

"Ja. That is fine."

"Excellent. Then we shall leave now." Newkirk looked at Decker. "Danke, Sergeant Decker for all your assistance."

"You are welcome, Major, Lieutenant. I am very happy for you, Fritz."

"Danke." Then he, Carter and Newkirk walked quickly down the long hall and out the door into the cool, crisp night air. Newkirk looked around nervously. Then, after Weidman climbed into the back of the truck, Newkirk climbed in after him with Carter getting in the front seat behind the wheel. He pulled away from the curb and headed in the direction of the camp.

Fritz suddenly felt a bit of trepidation and didn't know why. He looked at his hands as he rubbed them together chalking it up to hearing the news that his brother had been found alive. He let out a deep breath and looked at Newkirk.

"Nervous?" asked Newkirk, smiling.

"Just a little."

"That is understandable. But, I believe this will make you calm down." He reached and suddenly yanked out his lugar, pointing it at Weidman. "Don't make a move, you ruddy bastard," Newkirk replied in his normal voice.

Weidman, startled, stared at the Major. "You're not SS. You're British!" he exclaimed. He bolted for the back of the truck where the canvas flapped gently in the night air, but Newkirk was just a bit quicker. The Englander, wrapping an arm around Weidman's neck, pressed the weapon against his temple.

"Give me a bloody excuse to blow your brains out! Go ahead!" His rage was boiling over. He roughly shoved the sergeant to the back of the truck where Weidman landed hard, dazed. He suddenly felt his arms yanked behind him and a pair of handcuffs clamped tightly on his wrists. Newkirk then jerked him into a seated position so he could look him directly in the eyes.

"Who are you?" Weidman asked, nervously. "What do you want from me?"

"You have to answer for what you did to Colonel Hogan. You and your two chums."

"What we did to Colonel…wait a minute. You're from Stalag 13! You and your aide both!"

Newkirk smirked. "That's right, chum. Me mate Carter is your driver. You and your friends made a big mistake when you forced yourselves on our colonel in the woods the other night. Then to make matters worse, you three bastards waltzed right into our prison camp just as nice as you please, and tried it again. I ought to blow your filthy brains all over this truck right now." Pointing his weapon again at the sergeant, Newkirk took off the safety. He aimed at Weidman's head. But just as suddenly lowered his weapon and flipped the safety back on. "But I'm not gonna do it now. That would be too easy and too obvious. But you'll pay after we get back to camp. All of you will pay. And you're gonna be the first."

Weidman suddenly felt bold. He smirked. "Your Colonel Hogan is a dead man," he said coldly. "Hans and Henrik will see to it. But before they do, they're going to have fun with him for hours. He'll be begging for death before they're through tearing him apart. Want to know why? Because he was entertaining and…" He never finished because Newkirk stuffed a handkerchief in his mouth, silencing him.

"Let's see how you enjoy having your arms restrained behind you and a gag shoved in your mouth," Newkirk sneered. He then leaned back against the wall of the truck for the remainder of the ride back to Stalag 13.

* * *

(1) The SS was formed in 1925 as a personal guard unit for Adolph Hitler. Under Heinrich Himmler between 1925 and 1945, the SS grew from a small paramilitary formation to become one of the largest and most powerful organizations in Nazi Germany.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Kinch and LeBeau waited nervously for Newkirk and Carter to return, LeBeau at the radio table while Kinch was slowly pacing back and forth with his hands stuck in the pockets of his pea green jacket. To the Frenchman, Kinch resembled Hogan with his pacing.

"Take it easy, mon ami," he said. "You are going to wear a path out in the dirt floor. You have been hanging around the colonel too long."

"They should have been back thirty minutes ago," Kinch replied with a glance at LeBeau. "I just hope they didn't run into trouble at SS headquarters." Kinch let out a deep breath of frustration. "I should have had two people from the underground go instead. It was too risky to let them go, especially after the animals came into this camp."

"What could you do?" asked LeBeau waving his hands. "You gave them a chance to back out and they refused."

"Yeah, I know. But still, I should have just done it anyway regardless. If something went wrong, I don't know how I'm gonna explain it to Colonel Hogan. He's already angry at us."

"Oui, I know. But it's not like you made the decision on your own and ordered us. We all discussed it, gathered information and made plans just as the colonel would. We face risks with whatever we do here considering the work we do. You know how it is."

"That's just it, Louie. I do know. But that's not going to excuse me from the colonel's wrath if something's gone horribly wrong."

LeBeau could only let out a hugh sigh. He couldn't argue with the radioman's logic. And the Frenchman knew Hogan would be beside himself with anger. And he couldn't tell his friend he was just as worried as he was, maybe more. Just then, both men froze as they suddenly heard voices coming in their direction. They glanced at each other for a split second before both men seized the pistols they kept hidden in the radio room under the table in a secret compartment. They waited as the voices got closer with weapons aimed at the tunnel entrance and the safeties off, and held their breaths.

They relaxed when they recognized the voices as belonging to Carter and Newkirk but were stunned when they saw the gagged and blindfolded man Newkirk was shoving in front of him with his arms restrained behind him all the while pointing his weapon at the man. Kinch and LeBeau looked at each other.

"What's this?" asked Kinch with just a hint of anger. "I told you guys to do reconnaissance only."

"I know you did, mate," Newkirk replied calmly. "But we really didn't have much choice." He removed the blindfold covering Fritz's eyes and shoved him forward. "See, we spun the tale you told us to give and well, our friend here showed up before we could leave. It would've been too suspicious to just leave when he was there after we said we needed to speak with 'im. So…" he glanced at Carter. "…we decided to bring our friend here with us."

Fritz looked nervously at Kinch and LeBeau who lowered their weapons seeing Newkirk keep his pointed.

"Remove the gag, Newkirk," Kinch ordered.

"With pleasure, mate. But before I do, you'd better hear this. Once we were in the truck coming back here, our friend here let it slip that his two chums plan on killin' the Gov'nor after they have more fun with 'im."

Kinch and LeBeau exchanged looks as Newkirk removed the gag from Fritz's mouth. The sergeant stared hard at Kinch and licked his dry lips as he noticed the tall sergeant's eyes. However, he remained silent. His eyes shifted briefly to the little Frenchman who let loose a string of French obscenities in his direction.

"So, you and your friends plan on assaulting Colonel Hogan again and then killing him," Kinch said in a voice that chilled Fritz's blood. "Just how do you plan on doing it?"

Fritz just continued to stare. He was a bit nervous but was determined to stand firm. He felt Newkirk's weapon poking him in the back.

"You heard the man. Answer 'im," Newkirk urged. Fritz glared at the Englander.

"Go to hell!" he said. Then he smirked. "You'll see your colonel there." He was suddenly spun around when Kinch seized the front of his coat and yanked him up close bringing his own face right up into his, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I wouldn't be so smug if I were you, friend. See, I used to box with the golden gloves, so I don't think you want to mess with me. Now, I asked you a question. Just how do you and your friends plan on killing the colonel?" Kinch smiled in such a way that made Fritz swallow hard. The radioman could almost smell the fear in the German sergeant. Receiving no answer, Kinch then tightened his grip on the Fritz's collar.

"I…I…" Fritz stammered nervously. He felt his arrogance and courage dwindling as he looked into Kinch's dark eyes.

"Never mind, Kinch," Newkirk said casually putting the safety back on his weapon and stuck it back in his holster. "Let me take him into another area of the tunnel and do 'im in. I promise I'll clean up any mess I make. But, you'd best contact the underground and tell 'em we'll need 'em to dispose of the body afterward where it'll never be found."

Kinch's eyes briefly shifted to Newkirk and then back to Fritz. He released the sergeant's collar, spun him around, and roughly shoved him towards the Englander who roughly seized his arm. "Y'know, mate. It's really too bad you won't talk. I might've reconsidered making you pay for what you did. I mean, you seem like a somewhat decent bloke who just got mixed up with the wrong people." Newkirk shrugged his shoulders, then started to lead Fritz away. "Oh well, what is it you Yanks say, Kinch. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make 'im drink? Or some such rubbish like that?"

"Yeah, Newkirk," Carter chimed in. "That's what we say all right."

"C'mon then." Newkirk pulled roughly on Fritz's arm. But the sergeant resisted.

"Wait! I don't want to die! If…if I tell you, will you let me live?"

Newkirk looked at Kinch. "Kinch? You're acting for the colonel, so it's your decision, mate. What do you think?"

Kinch looked at LeBeau and Carter. They both nodded. Kinch then looked at Fritz. "Start talking and it better be the truth!"

Fritz swallowed hard. "Before I came back to SS headquarters this evening, Hans, Henrik and I were at the Hofbrau discussing Colonel Hogan and what to do about him. Henrik decided your colonel had to be gotten out of camp and silenced. Henrik has a brother in the Gestapo and another in the Wehrmacht. He wanted to send the one in the Gestapo out here to arrest the colonel and bring him to Henrik. But he dismissed that idea. So he, he came up with another."

"And what was it?" asked Kinch coldly. Fritz didn't answer right away. Kinch looked at Newkirk. "Go ahead Newkirk."

"All right, all right," Fritz said. "Henrik decided that since POW camps send prisoners out on work details, he would arrange for a work detail from Stalag 13 be sent out. And as the Senior POW officer would go with his men, Henrik planned on having Colonel Hogan arrested then on sabotage activities."

"Of course Colonel Hogan is too ill to go, so I would be going in his stead," said Kinch, getting angry at what he was hearing.

"Henrik considered that. He decided if you went instead of the colonel, he would come into Stalag 13 while the prisoners were on the work detail, arrest Colonel Hogan, and by the time you got back, we'd be gone with your colonel. And if you…." he now looked at Kinch directly. "And if you were to interfere, we were going to execute you to make sure you didn't talk."

The others all looked in shock at Kinch who also seemed surprised. It took him a full minute to collect himself before he focused on the German sergeant. "And just what did you three plan on doing to the colonel before you killed him?"

Fritz hung his head despondently. He knew he had said too much now to protect himself, but was hoping at least to save his own neck. "Henrik said we would then take the colonel somewhere he would never be found and keep him restrained for as long as necessary until he told us how he gets in and out of the prison camp. During that time, we would keep at him until he either broke and told us, or refused. But either way, he would be shot and your Kommandant told he was shot while trying to escape."

Kinch continued glaring at the sergeant. "Anything else?" he snapped.

Fritz licked his lips. "Henrik indicated keeping at Colonel Hogan would include repeated sexual abuse."

LeBeau muttered something under his breath; Carter stared slack-jawed at Fritz, while Newkirk and Kinch looked at each other.

"I have just one question, Bosche," LeBeau said coldly. "Why did you do what you did to mon Colonel in the woods? Nobody has the right to do that to somebody."

"We did it because we wanted to teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget. We wanted to demonstrate our power over him. And because, because we figured we could get away with it."

Kinch let out a deep breath. "Newkirk, you and Carter take our friend here to another area of the tunnel and tie him up. I'll contact the underground and London in the morning and have them escort him to the rendezvous spot and meet the sub. He'll spend the remainder of the war in a nice, cozy, British prisoner-of-war camp which is more than he deserves."

"With pleasure, Kinch." Newkirk then started dragging Fritz out of the radio room, but Fritz struggled.

"Wait! You can't send me to London! Henrik and Hans will know something's wrong when I disappear. They'll look for me."

"Not really, mate," Newkirk smirked. "See, you're visiting your brother in the hospital," he said calmly. "So, nobody's gonna miss you for awhile. Now c'mon like a good lad." He dragged him, protesting, out of the radio room with Carter following.

After they had left, Kinch slammed a fist so hard on the table holding the radio that the radio jumped. "Bastards!" he shouted.

"Filthy Bosche!" spat LeBeau. Then, his face softened a bit as he looked at Kinch who was leaning forward with both hands, palms flat on the table. "I thought we were going to kill the filthy swine?"

Kinch turned his head sideways to look at the Frenchman. "I thought about it. But Colonel Hogan would not approve of us doing that. He's drilled into our heads repeatedly we're not like the Nazis when it comes to killing. In self-defense, protecting yourself or each other, fine. No, Louie, it'd be better if he's sent to London. Hans also. But Henrik dies; no exception. He's much too dangerous."

"Oui. Whatever you say, Kinch. We trust your decisions." The little Frenchman looked down at the table. "I just can't understand how some people can be so cruel to somebody they don't even know. I really don't know."

Kinch wrapped an arm around LeBeau's shoulders and gave them a friendly squeeze. "I wish I had an answer for you, Louie. I guess the best answer I can give you is when there's a war, it brings out the craziness in some people."

"Well, it's not right," LeBeau replied looking up at the radioman.

"What's not right, LeBeau?" asked Kinch.

"If war's gonna bring out the craziness in some people, than maybe there shouldn't be anymore wars."

Kinch looked at LeBeau who grinned. "That's a good thought to have, Louie," Kinch added. "Perhaps somebody should have told that to scramble brains Hitler before he started this one."

Just then a gunshot rang out in the deepest part of the tunnel from the direction Newkirk and Carter had taken their prisoner. The two men again removed the safeties from their weapons and raced in the same direction. They paused at the mouth of the changing room where they found Newkirk kneeling down beside Fritz who was sprawled out on the floor, face down. The Englander had two fingers pressed against the German's throat. Hearing footsteps, Newkirk looked up and shook his head. He slowly got to his feet.

"What happened?" asked Kinch as Carter slowly approached, eying the body at Newkirk's feet, his lower lip bleeding.

"We were gonna have him change into civilian clothes for his trip to London," Newkirk began. "So we uh, removed his handcuffs so he could begin changin'. After he had changed, we were gonna tie 'im up again. That's when he punched Carter and made a break for it. I ordered him to halt but he wouldn't stop, so I fired. Guess I aimed too high. Sorry, Kinch."

"Dead?" Kinch asked grimly.

"Dead," replied Newkirk.

Kinch sighed wearily. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now except to dispose of the body. I'll get in touch with the underground and have them pick up the body and bury it somewhere where it'll never be found." Kinch looked at Carter's bloody lower lip. "You okay?"

Carter wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm okay," he said gently.

LeBeau folded his arms. "So who do we target next?"

"I say we should target that bloody bastard Henrik," said Newkirk. "After all, he's the one who led that group and was the ringleader in that assault on the colonel."

"I agree, mon ami," said LeBeau.

"I disagree. We should go after Hans next," Kinch told them.

LeBeau, Carter, and Newkirk all exchanged puzzled looks. Finally, Carter looked at Kinch in confusion. "Why Hans and not Henrik?"

"Simple," Kinch explained. "I think the colonel might want the man who led the others to rape him that night as well as decided they should come to Stalag 13 and molest him again."

In the end they agreed with Kinch. The colonel would want to personally handle the man responsible for leading the attacks on his person.

"Any ideas?" asked Carter. Nobody said anything.

"Not yet," Kinch said. "We'll have to review the information we have on him and see what, if anything, we can use. But we have a more important problem."

"We do?" asked a bewildered LeBeau.

"Yeah, mate," Newkirk replied folding his arms. "Like now that we know what they have planned for Colonel Hogan and how they might try to carry it out. We have to come up with a plan to stop them before they make a move."

With that thought pointed out to them, Kinch quietly returned to the radio table. He put and adjusted the headset on his head. He began to contact the underground.

* * *

Wilson sat in the chair at Hogan's desk which he had turned to face the bed. He had crossed his legs and had his arms folded. All he did was watch the sleeping man and was grateful the colonel had not awakened while he was there. Letting out a deep breath, Wilson thought about everything that had happened since the colonel's assault. It still pained him to see what had been done to the colonel, especially for the sick pleasure of certain individuals who's only goal was the humiliation, shame, and embarrassment of another. He knew Hogan had bounced back before from whatever he had endured, including being addicted to heroin courtesy of the Gestapo.(1) But did he have the strength and courage to bounce back again after this? And if he did, what kind of man would he be? Would what he suffered change him in some way or completely? Wilson had no idea. Only time would tell. But whatever happened, Wilson knew he and Hogan's men would be by his side to help him every step of the way. Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose. He was exhausted and wished he could crawl into bed and sleep for a week. But for now, sleep would have to wait. The only important thing at this moment was the man in the bottom bunk.

* * *

(1)Hogan being addicted to heroin was from my other story Addiction.


	13. Chapter 13

****There is a somewhat graphic scene in this chapter.*****

**Chapter 13**

Wilson rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his head in a circular motion to loosen his taut muscles. He was still doing it when LeBeau quietly entered the room.

"How is he?" he asked softly.

"Still sleeping. He hasn't budged since I've been here."

"I'm here to relieve you. Besides, Kinch wants to see you in the other room about something."

"Okay," the medic replied picking up his bag from the table. He glanced back at the colonel. "Hopefully he'll sleep through the night. I'm gonna crash out on one of the bunks outside so I can check him again in the morning."

"What did you tell Klink so we'll know."

Wilson sighted wearily. "I told him the colonel had developed trouble breathing while his so-called visitors were here but that his breathing had eased now and was back to normal. But I had to talk him out of sending the colonel to the hospital."

"Ummmm," was suddenly heard; both men turned. Hogan was moving around on the bed. "Ummmm," he murmured again.

Wilson, who had been preparing to leave, stopped. "Sounds like he's having another nightmare. I think I'd better wait until it passes before I leave in case I'm needed."

_He felt he was being torn apart. There were tears from both pain and rage. If he could just get his hands free he would teach them all a lesson. He'd make them pay for this assault on his person. If he could just free his hands._

"_Enjoying yourself, swine?" one of them asked. "Nein? Well, we must make sure you do. Reinhold, our friend here is not enjoying himself. And seeing as he asked for it, we must see he at least gets some pleasure from it. See what you and Hans can do to accommodate our friend here." He heard a chuckle from the one who spoke._

_The pain increased and fingers dug painfully into his shoulders. Something was shoved into his mouth gagging him. He felt one of Reinhold's hands reach around to the front of him until it had found what it sought. Wrapping his fingers around his penis he began to stroke while at the same time assaulting him from the back. _

"Ummmm_," _Hogan was becoming restless. Unconsciously, his fingers gripped the blanket tightly.

_The pain was up there with the worst pain he had ever endured. If he could just free his hands. He recalled straining to hopefully loosen the belt binding his arms behind him, but quickly realized that action seem to excite his attacker causing him to inflict more pain and digging his fingers into his already painful shoulders further. He suddenly felt himself lose control. The shame that washed over him was like a blanket. He was being humiliated, embarrassed and now he added shame. Shame at not maintaining control over himself. It was just as they had told him in his quarters; he had lost control. Oh God! One thing he could always do was maintain control. But not this time. He had lost control and in front of Germans. He was so ashamed._

"No!" Hogan cried out in anguish as he suddenly awakened and sat up, burying his face in his hands. "I couldn't have. It couldn't be true."

Wilson and LeBeau exchanged concerned looks before both sat on opposite sides of the bed.

"Colonel, it's okay," Wilson said gently. "It's all right. We're here. Can you tell us what you were dreaming?"

LeBeau gently put a hand on Hogan's shoulder. Although he felt the colonel stiffen under his touch, Hogan didn't react violently. After a few minutes, Hogan lifted his head and glanced from LeBeau to Wilson before sighing wearily and staring straight ahead at the closed door.

"I dreamt about the assault happening, that's all," he said in a lifeless, dull voice. Even his eyes were devoid of life. _Assault? Hell, who are you kidding, Rob? You were raped and you can't even say the word because it's so embarrassing to you._

"Mon Colonel," LeBeau remarked gently. "Let us help you. Don't shut us out. I think you remembered something else. Please tell us so we can help."

_I lost control of myself, _Hogan told himself silently._ I lost control. I can never tell anybody about it. Never. _Hogan looked at LeBeau before laying back down in his bed. "It's nothing," he muttered. "I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it alone."

Wilson touched Hogan's arm and was surprised when the Colonel jerked his arm away. "Please go away. Both of you. Just go."

"Sorry, Colonel," Wilson replied getting to his feet. "But I'm afraid someone will have to sit with you until I determine it isn't necessary anymore. At least for appearances sake as far as Klink is concerned since we told him someone would sit with you while you're ill."

"Fine," Hogan replied listlessly. "Whatever. Just don't ask me to talk about it."

"Oui, mon Colonel," LeBeau said noticing what seemed a look of depression that had taken over Hogan's face and was in his voice. As he and Wilson stood in the doorway, LeBeau momentarily glanced over his shoulder, then turned back to the medic. "What do I do?" he whispered. "How do I help the colonel?"

Wilson patted the Frenchman's shoulder. "Be patient, Louie. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him. Talk to him about other things where he doesn't have to reply or just listen to you. Whatever it is he recalled, he'll discuss it when and if he's ready, if ever."

He walked away leaving LeBeau to close the door. He then walked over to the desk all the while watching his commander. His heart was breaking seeing the colonel in this condition, seemingly devoid of all life and now depressed.

"Batards degoutants!"(1) he muttered under his breath as he sat down on the chair. He rested his arms on his thighs with hands folded between his knees. "Is there anything I can do or get you mon Colonel?" he asked. There was no response from Hogan who raised his eyes and looked at the little Frenchman for a long moment. "Just leave me alone, Louie," he murmured softly. LeBeau's face suddenly brightened a bit. "I could make your favorite snack. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Hogan slowly raised his sad eyes and looked up into the Frenchman's face again; his own face expressionless. "No thanks. I'm not hungry," he said. "I know what you're trying to do, Louie, but don't. I don't want to talk. If you're gonna sit here then be quiet; if not, get out."

"Yes, sir," the Frenchman answered with a grim look on his face as he sat back in his seat. He was now completely lost as to what to do.

_I lost control,_ Hogan told himself again. _I lost control and they saw it. The filthy bastards saw it happen! They laughed at me when it happened. How do I ever get over the shame of losing control? I can't talk about it with anyone. Not even Wilson. I can't tell anybody. It's too humiliating and embarrassing._ He squeezed his eyes shut hoping to block out the memory.

Thinking his commander was falling asleep, LeBeau sighed wearily. Turing around to face the desk, he took one of the pencils from the pen & pencil holder, found a blank sheet of paper on the desk, and proceeded to doodle. Little did he realize that Hogan had cracked open his eyes and was watching him.

* * *

Wilson found Kinch seated at the table drinking coffee. He approached the table. "LeBeau said you wanted to talk to me about something."

"Yeah, I did. Have a seat. Want some coffee?" Wilson indicated no, but he did sit down. "What is it?"

Kinch sighed. "First, how is the colonel, Joe? I get the impression he's withdrawing from us slowly."

"I noticed that too," the medic replied running a hand over his hair. "He's having a hard time dealing with what was done to him. And those animals forcing him to remember before he was able to cope with that information didn't help. He is so depressed right now he won't talk to anybody. But something happened just before I left his room."

"What was that?" Kinch asked with narrowed eyes, face full of concern.

"Tonight, just after LeBeau came to relieve me, the colonel had a nightmare about the rape. But I think he remembered something else that happened."

"Something else? Like what?"

"Don't know. He said something about he couldn't have and it couldn't be true. When we asked, he refused to discuss it. Kept saying he didn't want to talk about it. But he did look awfully upset from whatever it was he recalled. It seemed to make him very depressed."

'There's got to be someway to help him," Kinch said out loud.

"I told you in the very beginning this was going to take time, Kinch. I don't think the colonel's really dealt with what happened to him yet." He let out a deep breath and started to get up. "If there's nothing else…"

"Matter of fact there is."

Wilson sat back down studying Kinch's face. "Serious?"

"Depends on how you look at it. We captured one of the guards tonight who attacked Colonel Hogan in the woods. Unfortunately, he tried to escape and Newkirk was forced to shoot him. He's dead."

"I see," Wilson mulled over what the radioman told him. "Normally, I don't condone the taking of life, but in this case…" he let his voice trail off.

"But that's not the worst of it," Kinch continued. He went on to explain what Fritz had told them about the plan Hans and Henrik had come up with to possibly grab the Colonel and remove him from camp. Wilson's jaw dropped as he listened.

"You think he was serious?" the medic asked.

"Yes. That's why we may need your help, Joe. I don't know if they'll try it or not. But if they do, I'll give you a heads up. At that point, I want you to move the Colonel to the infirmary on the premise that you now believe he may have influenza and is to be held in quarantine until further notice. Hopefully this way we can keep them away from him. Klink's not going to allow anybody to come into the infirmary with a quarantine in effect no matter who it is."

"You can count on me, Kinch," Wilson said getting up. "Just give me advance notice."

"Thanks, Joe," Kinch replied. "I just hope this will keep him safe from them."

Wilson checked his watch and yawned. "Listen, Kinch, is there an empty bunk I can crash out on for the night. I'm beat. And this way I'll be close by in case something happens."

"Sure. Use Saunders bunk. He's in the cooler until tomorrow morning anyway. I'm sure he won't mind."

"Thanks." Wilson walked over to the bunk Kinch indicated, let his bag drop beside the head of the bunk and collapsed on top of the bed. He was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow.

Kinch leaned forward with hands flat on the table while he mulled over in his mind what he had earlier told Wilson and whether he should or shouldn't. He had a feeling what the colonel was going through right now because he had experienced it back when he was thirteen. Pursing his lips, Kinch nodded having reached a decision, and walked towards the closed door. He quietly opened it and saw LeBeau look up at him from the desk and Hogan apparently asleep.

"LeBeau, see about helping Carter and Newkirk in the tunnels for a few minutes. I need to speak with Colonel Hogan."

"Oui. As you wish." Getting up, the Frenchman squeezed past the radioman. He grabbed his arm on the way out. "The colonel, he is very depressed."

"I know, LeBeau. Thanks." Kinch patted him on the back as he walked out; he closed the door and turned the chair around until it faced the bed before he sat down. He noticed Hogan's now open eyes looking at him. There seemed to be a sadness in them although his face was unreadable. Kinch, crossing his legs, folded his arms. "Colonel, we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk, Kinch. Just leave me alone. Please."

"Okay, Colonel. You don't have to talk; just listen then. I have a story to tell you about something that happened to me when I was thirteen. Kinch then went on to repeat what he had told Wilson outside the barracks. He could tell from Hogan's face he was listening as he was talking. "The main thing I wanted to get across to you, Colonel, is that I couldn't stop myself during the attack on me. Couldn't stop it if I tried. It was out of my control completely." Kinch purposely let his eyes wander. "Man, I sure was embarrassed after it happened. Embarrassed and ashamed. Felt I should've been able to maintain control, y'know what I mean? But our family minister explained to me while it was normal to feel that way, and that I couldn't have controlled myself no matter what, and it would have happened anyway. It's what I think he called an involuntary reaction or something like that."

"You never told me about that happening to you, Kinch," Hogan said quietly. He knew what Kinch was trying to do and appreciated it.

"I know, Colonel. It's just that, well, what happened to you reminded me of what my uncle did to me when I was thirteen."

Hogan sighed wearily. How had Kinch guessed? Or was it really as he said; that what happened reminded him of when he was thirteen? To Hogan it really didn't matter. His eyes never strayed from his second-in-command's face. Whatever Kinch was thinking his face was unreadable.

"Seems like you recovered from what happened, Kinch," Hogan gently replied.

Kinch shrugged as he focused on the Colonel's face. "It wasn't easy in the beginning. I was so afraid my friends would find out and make fun of me or say things. You know how kids are. But between my mother and our minister, I came to understand that what happened wasn't my fault. I didn't asked to be assaulted. I was just a kid. But the main thing is I had somebody to talk to when I needed to." He paused for a long moment. "I'm telling you this for a reason, Colonel. You can always talk to me if you need to about what you're feeling at any time. I'm here for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate the offer. But right now I just don't want to talk about it at all. So, if you would please leave me alone and make sure none of the others come in. I don't need a babysitter. But I'll keep in mind what you said."

"Yes, sir." Kinch got to his feet slowly and walked to the door. Reaching it he gripped the doorknob and turned it.

"Kinch?"

The radioman looked over his shoulder at Hogan. "Yes, sir?"

A weak smile appeared. "Thanks for caring."

Kinch grinned. "You're welcome, Colonel. Is there anything you need before I go?"

"All I need right now is to be left alone for awhile."

"Yes, sir. I'll take care of it. Get some sleep, Colonel." Walking out Kinch closed the door behind him leaving Hogan alone.

The minute Kinch had left him alone, Hogan threw back his blanket and slowly sat up, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. He slowly forced himself on his feet and managed, by leaning on his footlocker to limp over to his desk and sit down. He was not only tired of lying in bed, but felt dirty laying on the bed in which he'd been groped hours earlier. He also figured it was time for him to get back into the 'swing of things' so to speak. But the words of two different people kept running through his head repeatedly.

"_You asked for it, swine. We must see you at least get some pleasure out of it!" He suddenly felt his body shudder under the assault. He had lost control and was so ashamed. _Hogan closed his eyes.

"_It wasn't your fault. Nobody asks to be assaulted. I couldn't have kept control if I tried. It was out of my control. It was an involuntary reaction I think it's called," said Kinch. _Hogan opened his eyes again and let out a deep breath. _It's depressing to feel I couldn't protect myself from what happened. _But was he beating himself up over losing control when there was no way for him to have maintained control to begin with? But yet he was always in control. He should have been able to maintain control even in that situation. And he failed; he failed miserably. That was what shamed him the most. He should have been able to. But again, Kinch's words echoed in his head.

"_It wasn't your fault. I couldn't maintain control if I tried. It was out of my control. It's an involuntary reaction."_

The words 'involuntary reaction' kept ringing in Hogan's head. Perhaps Kinch was right. But Kinch was a child when it happened; he was a grown man. Surely a grown man would be able to maintain control whereas a child could not. _'It was out of my control. It was out of my control.' _Hogan agonized over these thoughts and buried his face in his hands. He didn't know what to think right now. Or what or how to feel.

* * *

(1) Batards degoutants means Filthy bastards.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

When the morning came, the men of barracks two were stunned when the door to Colonel Hogan's quarters opened, and Hogan limped out, dressed and shaved. His appearance even caught Wilson off-guard. He poured himself a cup of hot coffee and sat down at the table.

"Colonel," the medic stated sitting beside Hogan. "You really shouldn't be out of bed. You should be resting."

"Until when, Sergeant?" Hogan said more harshly than he intended. "Until the liberation comes? I'm tired of resting. I need to get back to normal." He took a drink of coffee.

Sergeant Olsen, smiling at seeing the Colonel at the table, approached. Putting a hand on Hogan's shoulder he didn't notice the Colonel's stiffen at his touch. "Good to see you back with us, Colonel. How do you feel?"

"I'm doing as well as can be expected considering, Sergeant," Hogan lied yet trying to sound sincere at the same time." His eyes sought out Wilson and his core unit who were watching him carefully, ready to step in and run interference if their commander was becoming too stressed out.

Olsen nodded. "Glad you're back, sir." The sergeant turned and walked away. Soon, other prisoners were gathering around the Colonel patting him on the back with sayings of 'welcome back, sir,' 'glad to see you feeling better, Colonel,' and 'good to have you back, sir.' Hogan endured their touches on his back and shoulders while every part of him wanted nothing more than to scream for them to keep their hands to themselves. When he couldn't take it anymore, he calmly got to his feet and smiled at the others.

"Okay, fellas, thanks for the welcome back. But I think I'm gonna be in my quarters until roll call. Somebody let me know when Schultz shows up." He then turned and with coffee cup in hand, walked to his quarters and went inside, closing the door.

Olsen looked at Wilson and the team. "Is it my imagination, or is the Colonel still a bit out of sorts?" he asked, worried. "I mean, he acts like he's okay but is he really all right?"

The medic put a hand on Olsen's shoulder and smiled. "He's fine physically. Emotionally, he's still a bit short-tempered. But he'll be all right soon. I promise. Just give him some time."

"Anything we can do to help him?" Olsen asked.

"Just be patient with him. That's the only thing you can do for him. But I think I'll have a talk with him anyway." With a quick glance over his shoulder at the team, Wilson walked towards the small room and knocked on the door. He opened it when Hogan bid him enter. He found Hogan standing by the open window gazing out at the empty compound, sipping his coffee. He glanced over his shoulder when the door opened.

"I figured you'd be showing up, Joe," he said flatly. "What's up?"

"Colonel, you don't have to show up at roll call, y'know. You don't have to prove anything to anybody," the medic said, closing the door behind him and leaning against it with folded arms.

Hogan continued gazing out the window and drinking his coffee. "Maybe I have to prove something to myself." He paused for a moment as if he was thinking about what he wanted to say next. He glanced again over his shoulder. "I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of letting those bastards control my life. It's about time I took back my life again. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I can. But you have to keep in mind these men in the other room are worried about you. With the exception of your unit, the others have been kept pretty much in the dark. I just think you're rushing things a bit. You don't have to appear at roll call. Medically speaking you still are recovering from pneumonia and are excused from roll call. You can relax in your quarters instead. Or did you forget?"

"And do what, Joe?" Hogan asked tersely. "Stare out the window? Or perhaps I should lay on my lower bunk and count the number of boards on the underside of the top bunk?" He massaged his forehead as he stared at the lower bunk. "I don't mean to yell. It's just…I can't explain it to you. Hell, I can't explain it to myself." Wilson slowly approached the window and put a hand on the Colonel's shoulder. He removed his hand when he felt Hogan flinch.

"Colonel, you have to give yourself time. You're still dealing with the rape."

"I know. And you're right. But I can't hide in my quarters forever. I have over one thousand men in this camp depending on me."

Wilson sighed. "Colonel, nobody's asking you to hide from the world. All I'm saying is that you don't have to rush things. The men will understand if you need to take more time."

Hogan let out a deep breath "There's another reason I need to get out of here, Joe. But I really don't want to discuss it. So I would appreciate it if you'd leave right now. I really need to be alone right now and think."

"Colonel…"

Hogan turned suddenly, and gave Wilson his 'no nonsense' look.

"Don't have me make that an order, Sergeant," he hissed. "Now, please go and leave me alone."

"Yes, sir," Wilson replied as he turned and exited the room, closing the door. He was met by LeBeau, Carter, Kinch and Newkirk. "Not here," he said. "Kinch, how much time before roll call?"

Kinch checked his watch. "About forty-five minutes."

"That should be enough. In the tunnels." He led the way to the double bunk followed by the others. Kinch glanced over his shoulder. "Olsen, watch the door. Let us know if Schultz heads this way."

"Right, Kinch." He watched the five men disappear below while still wondering secretly if his commander was truly all right.

* * *

Once below, Wilson had Kinch fasten the lock on the tunnel opening so nobody could come down. Satisfied they were alone, Wilson rubbed the back of his neck, worry etched on his face.

"Gentlemen, I think the Colonel's problem goes deeper than I first thought."

"What are you saying?" asked Newkirk. "Are you sayin' he's havin' a ruddy nervous breakdown?"

"No. But he will if he doesn't release all this pent-up anger he's burying. I think he's burying his emotions so he doesn't have to deal with them, and is holding himself together with chewing gum. Anything is liable to set him off. And I don't think he should be at roll call until he releases his anger. If he should unload on Klink or Schultz or one of the other guards there could be some embarrassing questions asked that we can't answer."

"What can we do?" asked a concerned Carter. "I mean, when we try to talk with him about what he's feeling, he shuts down."

"Carter is right. The Colonel won't discuss anything about what happened to him either in the woods or in his quarters. Even though he knows we know about both incidents."

Wilson let out a deep breath as he folded his arms. "I don't know what else to do to help him. Any ideas?" he asked hoping one of the men could come up with something."

Kinch sighed. "Maybe if I talked with him again."

The medic glanced at the radioman warily. "I don't know how much good it'll do, Kinch, but go ahead."

"I'll do it right now. But you'd better head back to your own barracks before roll call," Kinch replied as he headed in the direction of the ladder leading to the barracks.

* * *

Hogan didn't acknowledge the knocking on his door. He just continued to stare out the open window in his quarters with a blank expression. If he heard the door open he gave no indication.

"Colonel?" Kinch said as he closed the door quietly. "Can I speak with you, sir?"

Hogan sighed and looked over his shoulder. "Something I can do for you, Kinch?" he asked in a flat tone.

"Colonel, is everything all right?" he asked, concerned.

Hogan let out a deep breath and closed the window. Leaning against the window sill he wrapped his arms around himself. "I'm all right, Kinch. Really. No need to worry. I just need to be alone right now," murmured sadly.

"Colonel," Kinch approached Hogan and gently put a hand on his shoulder. "You know I understand what you went through better than anybody. I understand how you feel struggling internally with what happened to you in the woods while trying to keep it together in front of everybody else. It's gotta be tough."

"More than you'll ever know," Hogan replied with a faraway look in his eyes. "I don't even…" he let his voice trail off and bowed his head.

"You don't even what, sir?"

Hogan turned away from Kinch and opened the window again. He felt like he was suffocating. He needed to feel the early morning breeze on his face to have him feel he was able to breathe. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing at all. You'd better get ready for roll call, Kinch." He almost considered telling the radioman about his responding during the rape, but at the last minute decided not to. He just couldn't embarrass or humiliate himself further even though he was positive Kinch knew or at least suspected. But regardless, Hogan could just not allow himself to talk of it. But the pain he felt was fresh.

Kinch sighed knowing Hogan was dismissing him and he would get nothing else from him. "What about you, Colonel?" he asked. "Shall we say you're still recovering, or are you going to appear at roll call?" It was then that Kinch thought about whether or not he should tell Hogan about the plan Hans and Henrik had for taking him out of camp, but decided against it for now. The Colonel's psyche was fragile enough as it was and Kinch wasn't sure if he could handle knowing. So he decided for now to wait for awhile and play it by ear.

"No, I'll be there. I just need to think for awhile and pull myself together."

"Yes, sir." Kinch quietly left the small room leaving Hogan alone. The Colonel hung his head. He couldn't tell anybody he no longer felt safe even in his own quarters. Not since those guards appeared at Stalag 13. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever feel safe again, and the depression at that thought increased.

He was brought out of his melancholy by the loud voice of Sergeant Schultz in the outer room.

"Roll caaaaaaaaall! Raus, raus! All prisoners outside for roll call!" His eyes suddenly lit up when the door to Hogan's quarters opened and the Colonel walked out. A wide smile appeared on the obese guard's face. "Colonel Hogan, it is good to see you back on your feet again. I hope this means you will be joining us for roll call this morning? The Kommandant will be most pleased."

Hogan glanced at Schultz and forced a smile on his face. "Yes, Schultz. I will be attending roll call this morning." He sighed as he zipped his leather jacket partially up.

"Then everybody outside for roll caaaaaaaaaaaaall! Raus, everybody!" He stepped away from the door and waited outside as the prisoners slowly emerged from the barracks. Hogan held back to allow the majority of the prisoners to leave before he walked outside and stood in his familiar spot in the formation beside Newkirk and in front of Kinch. Even without looking he could feel the eyes of LeBeau, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk on him, watching him, ready to come to his aid if he should need it. He nervously clasped his hands behind his back.

Schultz began counting each prisoner, grinning when he came to Hogan. He never noticed Hogan chewing his lower lip in order to hold it together and get through roll call.

Kinch stepped forward. "You all right, Colonel?" he whispered.

"I'm hanging in there, Kinch," Hogan replied flatly. Kinch stepped back.

"Schuuuuuuultz! Repooooooooort!" boomed the voice of Colonel Klink as he approached from his office. Schultz saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

"Excellent, Schultz." Klink's eyes then noticed Hogan. "Good to see you've joined us for roll call again, Colonel Hogan. I trust you've recovered from your illness?"

Hogan cleared his throat. "Not fully recovered, sir. But feeling much better."

"Glad to hear it, Hogan. Do you feel well enough to resume your duties as Senior POW officer? There is a work detail required and I need several of your men to repair one of the roads that was damaged during a bombing raid a few days ago."

Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau all exchanged concerned looks. Kinch, seeing Hogan about to respond, immediately stepped forward. "Kommandant, I regret to inform you that although Colonel Hogan has recovered sufficiently to attend roll call, Sergeant Wilson hasn't cleared him medically to resume his duties as Senior POW officer as of yet. You can check with him if you wish."

"I see. Hogan, is this true?" Klink asked.

Hogan turned and looked at Kinch, somewhat confused. He then turned back to Klink. "I'm not aware of Sergeant Wilson issuing any such restrictions on me, Kommandant. But apparently Sergeant Kinchloe is. So I guess until such time, he is still the Acting Senior POW."

"We can settle this very quickly. Schultz, dismiss your men, then go to barracks twelve and bring Sergeant Wilson to my office. Sergeant Kinchloe, you and Colonel Hogan will also come to my office. This way there will be no misunderstanding on anyone's part."

"Yes, sir," Hogan and Kinch said at the same time. Hogan glared at Kinch again over his shoulder. The radioman sensed the Colonel's anger.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz replied with a salute.

Disss-missed." Klink said saluting before abruptly turning and marching back to the Kommandantur.

Schultz turned to the prisoners. "All prisoners, dismissed!" He then headed toward barracks twelve.

As Hogan and Kinch followed a short distance behind Klink, Kinch saw Hogan glance at him. "Sergeant, you better have a damn good explanation for this!" he hissed in a low voice.

"I do, sir. It's just… I just can't tell you what it is right now. But believe me when I say it's important that I remain Acting POW for now."

* * *

Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter watched Kinch and their commander follow Klink to his office. They were worried. The news about the work detail caught them by surprise. LeBeau folded his arms.

"What do you think?" he asked the others. "Think Wilson will back up Kinch?"

"He'd better," Carter replied. "'Cause if he doesn't and Colonel Hogan goes on that work detail, Hans and Henrik are gonna be waitin' for 'im."

"That's why Kinch wants to remain Acting Senior POW," Newkirk added. "We gotta keep the Gov'nor here in camp. Once we accomplish that, then comes the hard part."

"What hard part?" asked LeBeau looking at the Englander, curious.

"Confining the Colonel to the infirmary claiming he needs to be quarantined in case those two clowns come here instead."


	15. Chapter 15

****There is an explicit scene in this chapter. I thank Bits and Pieces for her help with part of this chapter.****

**Chapter 15**

Klink hung his outer coat and hat on the coat tree in his office before walking around his desk and sitting down. He noticed Hogan's expression and sensed something was not right with his American counterpart. He also sensed Hogan seemed a bit tense for some reason and looked like he was barely holding it together. _Perhaps Sergeant Kinchloe is right. Perhaps Hogan isn't recovered enough to resume his duties as Senior POW officer._

Just then, the door opened and Schultz walked in with Sergeant Wilson behind him. Schultz saluted. "Herr Kommandant, I brought Sergeant Wilson with me as ordered."

Klink returned his salute. "Very good, Schultz. You're diss-missed."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz left the office.

Klink stared at the three men standing in front of his desk. Finally, he focused on the camp medic. "Sergeant Wilson, we seem to have a bit of a small difference of opinion here, and I'm hoping you will be able to settle the issue once and for all."

Wilson glanced at Kinch, then Hogan, and then back to Klink. "If I can, Kommandant. What seems to be the problem?"

Klink leaned back in his chair with his hands clasped in his lap. "It seems Colonel Hogan is well enough to attend roll call, yet when I asked if he was well enough to resume his duties as Senior POW officer, Sergeant Kinchloe then informs me that you haven't cleared Colonel Hogan to resume his duties. And it also seems Colonel Hogan knows nothing about this. Do you care to explain?"

Wilson hesitated for a long moment as three people were watching him, waiting for his answer. Finally, Kinch took a chance to give Wilson a hint.

"See, Joe, the Kommandant has a work detail he needs us to do and I simply explained that you hadn't cleared the Colonel medically for anything other than roll call right now."

Wilson caught on immediately. "Kinch is right, Kommandant. Although I would have preferred Colonel Hogan to give himself another couple of days rest before returning to roll call, I had no problem with him showing up. But I did tell Kinch I didn't think the Colonel was strong enough yet to resume his duties as Senior POW officer." He looked at Hogan who's face was a shade of crimson. "Sorry, Colonel. I guess you just don't remember me telling you."

"Umm-hmm. Umm-hmm. Very well. Hogan, until further notice, Sergeant Kinchloe will remain the Acting Senior POW. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," Hogan said with a sneer. "Am I dismissed, Colonel?"

"Yes, Hogan. You and Sergeant Wilson are both dismissed. Sergeant Kinchloe, you will remain." Klink saluted both men. Hogan gave his customary sloppy salute while Wilson gave a smart salute while telling himself he was going hear it from Hogan once outside. Opening the door, Hogan gave Kinch a hurt look before following Wilson out the door and closing it.

After they had left, Klink looked at Kinch. "Sergeant, let me ask you something first. Is there something wrong with Colonel Hogan that I'm not being told about?"

"Like what, sir?" asked Kinch innocently.

"I don't know exactly. He just seems very tense for some reason."

"Kommandant, you know how the Colonel is when he's starting to feel better. He gets cranky and wants to get back into action. Never could stand taking it easy when he's been sick."

"That's so true. Anyway, I want you to have a work detail of about ten men ready in one hour. The road just outside Hammelburg needs the holes filled in. Sergeant Schultz will accompany you. Report to Sergeant Schultz once you've selected your men. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir," Kinch replied.

* * *

Back outside, Hogan roughly grabbed Wilson by the arm; anger all over his face. "What the hell is this about, Joe? And I want the truth! And I want to know why you lied in there? You never told me anything about not being able to resume my duties as Senior officer."

"Colonel, I didn't lie. Given you current state of mind, I think it's wise for now that Kinch remain acting for you. You have enough to deal with. Also, with your unexpected outbursts of anger, anything might set you off."

Hogan squeezed Wilson's arm causing the medic to wince. He immediately released Wilson's arm as if he had burned his fingers, a look of horror on his face. "Joe, I'm sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing." Hogan looked up at the heavens, his arms wrapped around himself. "What's happening to me?" he asked softly. "I feel like I'm losing my mind." He then noticed Kinch emerging from the Kommandantur. The radioman, standing on the porch sensed something was amiss. Walking slowly down the steps, he approached the two men.

"Everything okay, Joe? Colonel?" he asked.

"Everything's fine, Kinch," Wilson replied with a grin. "I was just explaining to the Colonel why I thought it was better for now that you remain Acting Senior POW."

Kinch glanced at his commanding officer. "Are you okay with this, Colonel? Because you didn't seem okay with it in Klink's office."

Hogan let out a deep breath and looked at his second-in-command. But try as he might, the Colonel couldn't hide the pained and haunted look in his eyes. "Yeah, Kinch, I'm fine with it." He abruptly turned and walked away in the direction of barracks two. The two men watched his receding back.

"Is the Colonel all right, Joe?" asked a worried Kinch.

Wilson let out a deep breath. "Kinch, I think if the Colonel doesn't release his anger soon, there's going to be trouble. He's being consumed by it."

"I know. I could see it in his face and in his eyes even though he tries to hide it. But we have a bigger problem. I have to get a work detail together, and we're gonna need the Colonel to be moved in the infirmary and kept there for at least twenty-four hours under quarantine just to be safe. I don't want to take the chance those guys will come back here while we're gone and take the Colonel out of camp."

"Leave it to me, Kinch," the medic said. "Just let me know when you want him moved, and what you want me to tell Klink."

* * *

Hogan, opening the door of barracks two, briskly walked inside and past the few men who were inside the barracks without saying a word. He headed straight for his quarters and slammed the door behind him. The prisoners looked at each other and shrugging it off, went back to what they were doing. Only LeBeau, who was at the stove preparing breakfast, and Carter who was playing gin with Newkirk exchanged puzzled looks. They sensed something was amiss with their Colonel. Their suspicion was further aroused when the barracks door opened and Kinch walked in.

"What happened?" asked LeBeau. "The Colonel walked right past us without saying a word and went into his quarters."

"And he didn't say one bloody word to anybody," Newkirk added. He laid his cards on the table in front of Carter. "Gin." Carter tossed his cards on the table.

"I know," Kinch said walking towards Hogan's quarters and knocking on the door. He opened it when he heard Hogan permit him to enter. He found the Colonel seated at his desk with his head buried in his hands. "Colonel?" he asked closing the door quietly. "You all right?"

Hogan ran his hands down his face and clasped them together, elbows on his thighs. He looked up at his second-in-command. "Kinch, I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to be left alone right now. Please."

But Kinch didn't move. "Colonel, are you sure you're all right with me remaining Acting Senior POW? I hope you know I had no intention of overstepping my authority, sir."

"I know you didn't. And I'm not angry. I just feel so out-of-control right now. So, I would appreciate it very much if you would just go and leave me alone."

"Yes, sir. By the way, LeBeau's making breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes, sir. If you need anything, just yell." Kinch waited for Hogan to reply but his statement was met only with silence. With a heavy sigh, Kinch opened the door and started to walk out but paused in the doorway and looked back. He had an idea. "Y'know, Colonel, there's an empty room in the tunnels where we keep things we have no use for but for some reason don't get rid of. I often go there to be alone." When Hogan didn't reply, Kinch shrugged and walked out into the common room, closing the door behind him. He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat down at the table with Newkirk and Carter.

"Well?" asked Newkirk.

"I've never seen the Colonel so depressed as he is right now," Kinch said sadly. "I don't know how much more he can take. Wilson told me if the Colonel doesn't release the anger he's keeping buried inside, it's gonna consume him. I dropped a hint about that room we have in the tunnels where I sometimes go to be alone. I hope he takes advantage of it."

LeBeau put plates of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and toast in front of everybody, and poured cups of coffee. "I hope the Colonel is hungry," he said.

"He said he isn't, Louie, but take him a plate anyway," Kinch advised. "Hopefully, he'll eat. He can't afford to become ill for real."

"Oui. I will take him a plate right now." The Frenchman poured a full cup of coffee and balancing a plate, went to the small room and knocked on the door. The others watched him open it and go inside. Less than five minutes later he came back out with the plate and a dejected look on his face. He threw the food in the trash and poured the coffee down the sink. "Refused both the food and the coffee. Said he wasn't hungry. He also requested he not be disturbed under any circumstances."

"Well that tears it," Newkirk muttered nibbling on a piece of toast. "We've gotta do somethin' to help the Gov'nor. He can't keep going on like this."

"I know," LeBeau replied before shoving a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "But what can we do? We've tried talking to him, being patient with him, giving him his space. What else is there we can do?"

"Well, first thing I have to do is select a work crew to repair the road outside Hammelburg," said Kinch, taking a drink of coffee. "Then we move the Colonel to the infirmary where he'll be safe."

"You think those Krauts will show up here after you leave with the work detail?" asked Carter.

"I don't know. But why take chances. Besides, as an added protection, I'm gonna select guys from barracks seven for the work detail. That'll leave you guys here to keep an eye on things and the Colonel."

* * *

Hogan paced back and forth in his small room with his thumbs hooked in his jacket pockets until he could follow the path with his eyes closed. He finally walked over to the window, opened it, and watched some of the prisoners in the compound involved in various athletic activities such as throwing a football around and some playing volleyball. Although the morning air was cool, it wasn't entirely unpleasant for playing outdoor sports. Hogan leaned against the window frame and sighed.

The assault in the woods was still fresh in his mind. He could still feel hands digging into his shoulders painfully as each guard penetrated him. He shut his eyes but couldn't rid himself of seeing each man thrust himself into him roughly, each taking their turn, reveling in his pain, trying to make him cry out, moving faster and faster as they neared completion, then letting the next man take over repeating the process. One of them even stroked his penis which, combined with the rape, caused him to…..He opened his eyes and massaged his forehead. Turning, he leaned against the window sill with arms folded and looked around; but then his eyes fell on the lower bunk and the other memory came to him. The memory of being held down on his own bed with one of the guards with his hand inside his pajama bottoms groping him. He shut his eyes again trying to make the flashback go away and couldn't. Shaking his head, Hogan looked up at the ceiling. _If Carter hadn't walked in when he did._ He could feel the bile rising in his throat and his anger rising. Despite the window being open, the room was closing in on Hogan. He couldn't breathe._ I have to get out of this room before I suffocate! _Hoganran to the door, yanked it open, and hurriedly limped out heading directly to the double bunk without saying a word to anyone, and slapped the hidden mechanism. He impatiently rubbed the back of his neck waiting for the lower bunk to rise and the ladder to drop. The minute they did, Hogan stepped over the bed frame and disappeared down the ladder.

LeBeau, Carter, and Newkirk looked at each other, deeply worried. They started to rise to their feet, but Kinch calmly stopped them. "Let him go," he said. "Trust me on this."

"But aren't you worried the Gov'nor might leave the camp in his condition?" asked a frightened Newkirk.

Kinch faintly smiled. "He's not leaving the camp," he said. "I know exactly where he's going. We just have to respect his need for privacy."

* * *

Hogan practically ran through the tunnels despite his aching leg passing the radio room, the changing room, and the room where they kept their arsenal. He just kept going as if someone were pursuing him until he came to the room he faintly remembered Kinch telling him about. Then, with injured leg throbbing, he dropped, exhausted, to his knees and looked around as he tried to catch his breath. There were things there he had forgotten about; boards not currently used for shoring up the tunnels; clubs; planks, crates, boxes, and other things. Struggling to his feet, Hogan seized one of the planks that was the length of a baseball bat and with all the rage in him, began smashing it against the table over, and over, and over. He smashed the wooden crates, the boxes, the table.

"Damn you!" he shouted angrily. "Damn all of you!" He kept swinging, smashing anything that could be smashed until the plank finally broke into pieces in his hands. He viciously slammed the broken pieces onto the ground before collapsing to his knees out of breath, his arms resting on the table's edge. He rested his forehead on his arms, gasping for breath, sweat pouring down his face. "Damn you," he said, breathing hard. "Damn you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Hans and Henrik reported to SS headquarters on time instead of taking the hour they had originally planned to take. While they were happy for Fritz that his brother had been found alive, his absence did interfere with their plans to grab Hogan either during a work detail, or directly from the prison camp. Now, they would have to come up with another way to seize the American before disposing of him.

"Should we perhaps call the hospital in Hammelburg, Henrik?" asked Hans. "Maybe Fritz can rejoin us for a few hours just long enough for us to grab the American." He looked at his friend as they prepared to return to patrol after lunch.

"No," Henrik replied with a sigh. "He has just found his brother again after all this time. We will handle Colonel Hogan ourselves if we have to." He checked his rifle making sure the safety was on. "But we might not have time for fun and games with the colonel and may have to simply dispose of him instead."

Hans let out a deep breath. "Seems a shame to let the opportunity pass on finding out how he gets in and out of camp. That kind of information could be quite a feather in our caps and could result in many rewards for us."

"We'll see, Hans," Henrik replied. "The main thing is to silence this colonel. But if we can, we will try and obtain that information. Now, let's get back to work."

* * *

Minutes after Kinch left to go to barracks seven to choose the men for the work detail, the lower bunk rose and the ladder dropped. A weary Hogan climbed up the ladder and stepped over the bed frame into the room. Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau looked at him but didn't move; they had been warned by Kinch not to go below and to give the colonel his privacy. They continued watching as Hogan struck the hidden mechanism and let the ladder rise and lower bunk drop over the tunnel opening. Glancing at his men, Hogan sighed, limped over to the window sill, grabbed his coffee cup, and then limped to the pot belly stove., and poured himself a cup of still warm coffee. He took a sip of the dark liquid and sighed wearily. Looking at the three members of his team with an almost sad look on his face, Hogan sat down on the bench beside Newkirk. He could sense the men felt a bit awkward around him at the moment, not knowing what to say or how to act. Feeling a bit embarrassed, he stared into his coffee cup at the brown brew. He couldn't readily admit to anybody that he felt just as, if not more, awkward around them. He could only imagine what was running through their minds about him.

"Fellas, I…I want to first apologize for shouting at you a few days ago. I know you were only trying to protect me by not telling me what happened."

LeBeau swallowed hard. "Mon Colonel, we only did what we felt had to be done at the time. In your condition, we didn't think you could handle knowing. But we would have told you when you were better."

"I know, LeBeau," Hogan replied avoiding direct eye contact. "But to tell you the truth, finding out didn't make me feel any better." He sighed. "Once I found out, I almost wished I hadn't."

Carter looked sympathetically at his commanding officer. "Geez, Colonel. I'm just glad we got there in time."

This time Hogan looked up. "Carter, if you had gotten there later I would've been dead seeing as I recall I was about to be shot in the head."

Newkirk put a hand on Hogan's shoulder and, feeling the colonel flinch, removed it. "We're only sorry we didn't get there before those bastards did what they did. We're sorry, sir."

The colonel glanced at the Englander. "Sorry for what? None of you have any need to apologize. But I do. I know I haven't been myself lately and I'm sorry about that. But I'm trying. That's about all I can promise you right now."

LeBeau allowed a small smile to appear. "Mon Colonel, you do not owe us any apologies. All we want is for you to get better and for the filthy Bosches who attacked you to pay for what they did." Hogan paled at the mention of the SS guards who assaulted him. He clutched his coffee cup so tightly his knuckles turned white. It didn't go unnoticed by the others.

"You all right, Colonel?" asked Carter, concerned. "You look kinda pale."

Hogan took a drink of coffee. "I'm okay," he lied. "I just…I mean for awhile I forgot about them." He immediately noticed the little Frenchman's face looked apologetic. "It's all right, LeBeau. I know they're still out there." His eyes took on a haunted look. "They proved that when they came into this camp. They made sure I wouldn't forget."

Just then, the barracks door opened and Kinch walked in. A faint smile appeared on his face when he saw the Colonel seated at the table. Their eyes met and the colonel sensed the radioman either wanted or needed to speak with him privately.

"Guys, could you give Kinch and me a few minutes alone?" Hogan asked. The men quietly got up and went outside the barracks to wait. Once they were gone, Kinch approached the table and sat down beside his colonel. He could see Hogan tense up by the closeness.

"You all right, Colonel?" Kinch asked quietly, sliding a bit away from Hogan, his eyes showing his concern.

Hogan sighed wearily. "Yes and no, Kinch. But I'll get there. You want to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, I do," Kinch looked around to make sure nobody was within listening range. Satisfied, he faced Hogan. "Colonel, I wanted to tell you this when you were stronger. And I hope now is the right time to do it, because I don't want to upset you."

"Something tells me I'm not gonna like whatever it is you have to tell me."

Kinch let out a deep breath. "You're not. Colonel, I need you to move to the infirmary for at least twenty-four hours under the premise of being quarantined."

Hogan looked at Kinch with raised eyebrows that disappeared into his black hair. "What for?" he asked.

Kinch hesitated. "Because I have to go with ten prisoners from barracks seven on a work detail and we suspect those guards who came here previously are gonna come back here and try to remove you from this camp." He immediately saw Hogan turn pale and thought he saw fear in his eyes. He waited as the colonel swallowed the imaginary lump in his throat.

"How…how did you find out about this?" Hogan stammered trying to control his emotions, but his breathing quickened. He massaged his forehead.

"I can't tell you that right now. But it's safe to say that we figured it out when those three were here before. We suspected they came here to see if you were here because they were looking for you." He licked his dry lips. "We think they intend to kill you."

Hogan's eyes closed as he fought to hide the rising fear he was feeling. "Is that why you wanted to remain Acting Senior POW?" He opened his eyes again.

"Yes, sir. I thought it was better to keep you in camp where you could be protected instead of out with the men on a work detail where they could grab you much more easily. But we figured if you were under quarantine in the infirmary, they wouldn't be able to come near you. That way you'd be safe."

Hogan started to take another drink of coffee but his hand was shaking so badly he had to use both hands to hold the cup. He finished his coffee, put down the cup, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kinch…" he didn't finish.

"You're welcome," Kinch said with a smile. Hogan looked up and suddenly felt very tired.

"I normally wouldn't do this, but I'll go to the infirmary this time. But no sedative. I want to be fully conscious."

"No problem." Kinch checked his watch. "I have to leave with Schultz and the work detail in ten minutes. We'd better get you to the infirmary now." He got to his feet as did Hogan whose eyes betrayed the whirlwind of emotions he was feeling knowing that the guards who attacked him were now out to silence him permanently.

"Kinch?" Hogan uttered as they stood in front of the door of the barracks. Kinch paused and looked over his shoulder, questioningly. "Thanks." He saw the radioman smile in response. Hogan massaged his forehead as he and Kinch left the barracks.

Still sitting outside, the others got to their feet when they noticed Hogan's expression which belied his true feelings. They looked from Hogan to Kinch.

"I told the Colonel about the guards wanting to remove him from the camp and kill him. He's agreed to go to the infirmary while I'm out with the work detail." He glanced at the colonel who seemed to be somewhat lost as he massaged his forehead again. "I'm counting on you guys to keep an eye on things here just in case." He checked his watch again. "We'd better get moving, Colonel." Kinch headed in the direction of the infirmary with Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau following.

* * *

Wilson was pacing in the infirmary when he heard the door open causing him to stop to see who had entered. He spied Hogan with his men walking inside. Even from where he stood, the medic could see that Hogan looked tense despite his best effort to hide it. He met the men halfway.

"Kinch, Colonel," he began. "What's wrong?"

Kinch went about explaining to Wilson that Hogan knew about the plan to quarantine him for his own protection but that the colonel refused to be sedated. Wilson agreed with the colonel's request. Kinch then quickly left to join the work detail but promised to check on the colonel when he got back.

Hogan sat down on the nearest bed and let out a deep breath as he tried to collect himself. As he waited, Wilson chased all the men out of the infirmary with the exception of Newkirk with the promise he would take good care of the colonel and let them know if they were needed. He explained to the Englander he wanted someone with Hogan while he went to speak with the Kommandant. Once they were alone, the medic approached Hogan and sat beside him while Newkirk sat nearby. "You all right with this, Colonel?" Wilson asked gently.

Hogan stared at the medic with a sad expression. "I don't seem to have much of a choice, do I? At least for the next twenty-four hours anyway." He sighed then forced a faint smile on his face. "Now what are you gonna tell Klink?"

* * *

A few hours later Wilson walked up the steps of the Kommandantur and took a deep, deep breath before he entered. Glancing at the secretary's desk he saw it neat and knew immediately that Hilda was not in. He knocked on the inner office door and waited until he heard Klink give permission to enter. _Well, here goes nothing, _Wilson told the door the medic entered the Kommandant's office, closing the door. He came to attention in front of Klink's desk and saluted. "Sergeant Wilson reporting, Kommandant. I need to talk to you about Colonel Hogan."

Klink returned the salute. "At ease, Sergeant. Now, you said you needed to speak with me about Colonel Hogan?"

"Yes, sir. Kommandant, I had Colonel Hogan moved to the infirmary and have him under quarantine for twenty-four, possibly forty-eight hours."

Klink's eyebrows shot up and his mouth formed an 'O'. Recovering his senses, he got slowly to his feet and walked around his desk until he came face-to-face with the medic. "What happened? He seemed fine this morning at roll call."

"It came on all of a sudden, sir. The colonel was in the barracks when he suddenly developed breathing trouble and couldn't seem to catch his breath. It could either be a recurrence of the pneumonia or possibly influenza. I had him moved to the infirmary and am having him quarantined until I can be sure. I just thought you should know."

'Thank you very much for telling me, Sergeant Wilson. Please keep me informed as to Colonel Hogan's condition and if he needs to be transferred to the hospital in Hammelburg. Whatever is needed to get him well."

"I understand. Thank you, Kommandant. If there are no more questions, am I dismissed?"

"Yes. Dismissed." Klink returned Wilson's salute and sat on the edge of his desk with folded arms as Wilson walked out of the office, into the waiting room, and out of the Kommandantur. Standing on the steps outside, Wilson let out the deep breath he'd been holding the entire time and allowed a small smile to appear.

* * *

Hogan sat up in bed with Newkirk seated in a chair beside the bed. For the most part, the colonel had been extremely quiet and, to Newkirk, had a look of sadness and fear on his face that he tried hard to hide. But knowing his commander as well as he did, the Englander could see right through the attempt. He knew the colonel was scared and had been since those guards had come into camp looking for him. _Hell, I'd be scared too, Gov'nor. No need for you to be afraid to show it. But you won't let anybody know. You never do. You're a better man than I am, Colonel. I don't think I'd be able to keep it hidden._ Newkirk sighed, bowed his head and shook it slightly.

"Colonel, try not to worry."

Hogan feigned surprise. "Who said I was worried?"

Newkirk looked at Hogan. "Sir, this is Newkirk you're talkin' to, not Carter."

Swallowing, Hogan wrapped his arms around himself. His brown eyes looked into Newkirk's green ones. He could see the worry on the corporal's face. "Newkirk, it's all going to work out. I'll be fine. I promise. So, don't you worry."

Newkirk chuckled softly. "Colonel, I'll stop worryin' when those three bloody Krauts are dead. And you can't sit there and tell me you won't be either."

Hogan didn't respond, but his eyes said otherwise. They both looked around when they heard the door open and saw Wilson enter. The medic walked in their direction.

"Well?" Hogan asked looking up at the medic who still had a grin on his face. "From that grin I'd say Klink fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

"He did. He also offered to transfer you to the local hospital in Hammelburg if necessary."

Hogan and Newkirk exchanged amused looks and then back at Wilson.

"In fact, Colonel, as of this moment you are officially under quarantine." He patted Newkirk's shoulder. "Thanks for staying with the Colonel, Newkirk," he said. "You can return to the barracks and let the others know everything is fine so far, but to keep alert anyway."

"Right." Newkirk sighed getting to his feet. He looked at Hogan. "I know what it was you said, Gov'nor. But I still say try not to worry. We're gonna keep those bloody SS Krauts away from you no matter what we have to do." He then turned to Wilson. "Joe, take good care of the Gov'nor. And give a yell if you need us." Then with a small smile, Newkirk walked out of the infirmary.

* * *

Hans and Henrik were taking a break from their afternoon patrolling when they found themselves at the edge of the woods near one of the roads in Hammelburg. It was then they spotted what appeared to be ten men working repairing the potholes in the road along with three armed Luftwaffe guards patrolling and keeping an eye on the men who were filling in the potholes. They also spotted an obese guard who was busy chatting with another man whom they immediately recognized. The man he was chatting with was a tall negro sergeant. They exchanged looks.

"Isn't that Sergeant Kinchloe from Stalag 13?" asked Hans with narrowed eyes.

"It is," Henrik replied. "I don't see our American Colonel anywhere so he must be back in the camp. Come, I want to speak with Sergeant Kinchloe for a moment and put the fear of God into him." Standing, he walked out of the woods with Hans following close behind him. They both approached Kinch and Schultz. It was Kinch who spotted them first as Schultz had his back to them.

"Schultz, we have company," Kinch announced with distaste when he recognized their visitors. Schultz turned and looked; then walked halfway to meet the SS guards.

"Guten tag," Schultz said with a pleasant smile. "Sergeant Schultz of Stalag 13. Can I help you?" Schultz didn't want any trouble with the SS even it they were only a sergeant and a corporal.

"Yes, Sergeant. I am Sergeant Drapper. What is going on here?"

"Several prisoners from Stalag 13 are here as a work detail repairing the road. Is there a problem?"

"Not at all, Sergeant. I'd like to speak with your Senior POW officer," Henrik said in an equally friendly voice. He noticed Kinch in the background glaring at him and Hans.

"I'm afraid the regular Senior POW officer is ill. But we do have an Acting Senior POW by the name of Sergeant Kinchloe here if you would like to speak with him."

"That would be fine, Sergeant."

Schultz looked over his shoulder and noticed Kinch slowly approaching. "Sergeant Kinchloe, these gentlemen would like to speak with you." Kinch, who by now was standing just being Schultz, continued to glare at both men.

"Sure, Schultz. I'll talk with them."

Henrik smirked at Kinch before looking at Schultz again. "This is a private conversation, Sergeant." Schultz shrugged and walked away leaving the three men alone. When Schultz was out of range, Henrik stared at Kinch.

"So, Sergeant Kinchloe, we meet again," sneered Henrik.

Kinch's face was unreadable. "You bastards have a lotta nerve showing your faces here after what you've done."

"After what we've done?" Henrik feigned innocence. "Why whatever do you mean, Sergeant?"

"Look, don't play dumb with me. I know what you did to Colonel Hogan. And you're not gonna get away with it."

Henrik chuckled. "Very well, Sergeant. We know you were the one who shot and killed Corporal Mueller that night. I could have you arrested for murder. But I'll make a deal with you."

Kinch eyed him suspiciously even though he had an idea where this was leading. "What **possible** deal do you think I would make with the likes of you two?"

Henrik ignored Kinch's sarcasm. "It's very simple really. You give us Colonel Hogan, and we'll forget about you killing Corporal Mueller."

"You're joking, right?"

"Not at all, Sergeant. I'm a forgiving man. All we want is your colonel. We don't even care how he got out of camp. You give him to us and we let you continue your empty existence in your prison camp."

"Go to hell!" Kinch ordered angrily. "If you think I'm gonna just hand over Colonel Hogan…"

"We will take him without your help, but then we'd have to arrest you for murder as well," Henrik interrupted angrily.

"I'd gladly die before I let you anywhere near the colonel again."

"You just might, Sergeant," Hans interjected with a sneer on his face.

"For the last time, Sergeant," said Henrik. "Give us Colonel Hogan and you stay alive. Refuse, and we'll take him out of that camp by force and you won't see the next day's sunrise."

Kinch smirked. "Drop dead!" he ordered and abruptly turned and walked away.

Henrik was seething. He started to raise his rifle but was stopped by Hans. "No, Henrik. Shooting him now won't get us Colonel Hogan."

Henrik let out a deep breath but was still angry. "You're right. We'd best return to patrol. But Sergeant Kinchloe is wrong about one thing, Hans. We will get Colonel Hogan even if we have to walk into that prison camp and kill him right there. Him and Sergeant Kinchloe."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Kinch was still steaming when he returned to camp with the work detail. When he walked into the barracks he slammed the door so hard the other prisoners thought for a moment the door would come off it's hinges. LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk immediately gathered around him.

"**Damn them!!!**" Kinch shouted loudly. To his friends, they had never seen the radioman so upset in all the time they had known him. It took quite a lot to get Kinch upset. In fact, the men he worked closest with couldn't ever recall seeing him upset.

"What happened, mon ami?" asked a deeply concerned LeBeau.

"Not here," Kinch said. He motioned for them to follow him into the colonel's quarters. He had calmed down just a little. "How's the Colonel?" he asked Newkirk.

"He tries to hide it, Kinch, but he's scared and worried. I could see it in his eyes. And just between the four of us, I don't think he feels safe here right now because of those bastards coming into camp."

"I would have said he was safe here to some degree before but not now," Kinch took a deep breath to collect himself.

"Tell us what happened?" LeBeau asked again. Kinch repeated what happened with his unexpected run-in with Hans and Henrik while repairing the road.

"La mere de Dieu!" cried LeBeau, face darkening. "Ces Batards!" (1) Newkirk and Carter had their own choice of words to what Kinch said.

"We must get both Henrik and Hans now," Kinch explained in earnest. "We can't wait any longer and get them one at a time. I don't care about them threatening me, but we can't let them near Colonel Hogan. I have a plan on how to trap them." His eyes shifted to the Englander. "Newkirk, I'm gonna need your help to set this up for tonight."

"You can count on me, mate. What d'you want me to do?" As Newkirk listened to what Kinch wanted, his face broke into a wide grin. "Kinch, you're beautiful."

"What about us?" asked the little Frenchman.

"LeBeau, you and Carter are coming with me and Newkirk when we go out tonight to meet our so-called guests." He sighed. "Right now I've got to update the colonel about the meeting with the bobsy twins. But I'll leave out the threats made to myself. He's got enough to worry about and I don't want to add to it."

"Let us know how he is doing, Kinch," LeBeau added. "Meanwhile, I'd better start dinner."

* * *

Hogan was laying awake on his back in bed with hands clasped behind his head when Wilson approached and sat down on the edge of the bed. Hogan turned his head towards him. He smiled faintly. "Y'know, Joe. This has to be the first time I've been in the infirmary where you aren't poking, prodding or sticking me with a needle."

The medic smirked. "I can if you really want me to."

For the first time since his nightmare began, Hogan chuckled. "Don't hold your breath." Both men looked over when the door to the infirmary opened and Kinch walked in. Even though he did his best to hide his emotions from Hogan, the colonel sensed his close friend was troubled by something. "Joe, Kinch and I need to talk privately for a few minutes."

Wilson shook his head as he got to his feet. "I know when I'm not wanted." He smiled at Kinch as he passed him by and the radioman sat in the chair beside the bed while Hogan slid upward in bed and faced him. Wrapping his arms around himself, Hogan waited.

"What's wrong, Kinch?" he asked. "Something happen during the work detail?"

Kinch let out a deep breath. "You could say that, Colonel. We had visitors while working on the road." He immediately noticed a subtle change in the colonel.

"Who?" Hogan asked in a strained voice. He was hoping he was wrong but was afraid he wasn't.

"Henrik and Hans. They showed up and asked to speak with me once they recognized me."

"What did they want?"

Kinch hesitated for several seconds. He licked his dry lips. "They wanted me to turn you over to them."

Hogan let the back of his head rest against the wall with closed eyes. He could again feel the fear and not feeling safe creep into his head again. Would he **ever** feel safe and unafraid again? Swallowing hard he opened his eyes and took a few moments to collect himself. "What else?"

Kinch noticed the fear in the colonel's eyes and how he had paled when he heard Hans and Henrik's names. Kinch continued explaining to Hogan what had transpired between himself and the two guards, mindful not to reveal the threats made against himself. As Hogan listened, he secretly became amused when Kinch got to the part where he told both Hans and Henrik off. But Kinch had plainly seen the colonel's features change and his face pale. He knew Hogan was having difficulty hearing that these men were intent on getting to him no matter what and silencing him. But he also knew that being killed didn't bother Hogan so much because he faced death all the time with the job he had. He was more scared that before that happened, they would attempt to rape him again; maybe repeatedly before they finally ended his life. And that frightened him more than anything, but he refused to allow Kinch or anybody else see how afraid he was. Nonetheless Kinch, knowing Hogan as well as he did, still sensed it.

Hogan let out a deep breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "So, what's next?" He really didn't want to admit he'd like to see the three guards dead; that would be the only way, he figured, he'd at least begin to feel safe again. He'd like to kill them with his own hands for what they had done to him; make them pay for the pain, degradation, humiliation and shame he was forced to feel. _If I could only get my hands on the three of you. It would be worth losing my life just to get my hands around your sadistic necks, or to put a bullet in your heads._ He wanted them dead. But he kept that thought to himself. Right now he couldn't even think straight and was quite willing to let Kinch handle things as he saw fit because of it. He was having enough trouble just trying to act normal with the men. Instead, he didn't want to have to face dealing with the trio who, up to now, had changed his life in the worst way.

"Well, for at least another forty-eight hours I'd like you to remain here in the infirmary until I can figure out something."

Hogan sighed wearily. "I wish…" he didn't finish.

"Wish what, sir?" asked Kinch.

"Nothing. Let me know what you come up with before you do anything. It's not that I don't trust you because I do. It's just that I need to be kept in the loop so I can have some semblance of normalcy. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, sir, I can. And I'll let you know what I come up with before we do anything. I'd better go before someone wonders why I'm in here so long with somebody under quarantine." He got to his feet. "Try to remain optimistic, Colonel. We're not gonna let them get anywhere near you. And we'll do whatever we have to in order to prevent that."

"I know you will, Kinch," Hogan replied grimly. "I just wish this entire thing was over so things could return to normal around here. I can't keep going on like this. It's beginning to get to me."

"Have faith, Colonel," Kinch said.

"Yeah." The colonel's voice had no emotion to it as he slid down in the bed and clasped his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. "I'm kinda tired, Kinch. We can talk later."

"Yes, sir," the radioman replied, his heart heavy at seeing his commander so despondent knowing these people, if they could be called that, would do whatever they could to get to him. He also sensed this situation of being vulnerable was getting to the colonel because he didn't raise an argument over remaining in the infirmary for two more days. "Get some rest, Colonel. I'll try to come by later and see you." He got no reply. Kinch then turned and walked away, passing Wilson on his way out. "Joe, he's depressed right now over some news I gave him. Keep an eye on him, will you?" Kinch explained in a low voice. He gave the medic a consolidated version of what he had told Hogan. He saw Wilson's face darken.

"Kinch…" the medic glanced over his shoulder, noticing the colonel wasn't paying them any attention. "…something has to be done about them. He's never going to begin to heal emotionally, in my opinion, as long as he believes those men can get to him anytime they want. They proved that when they entered this camp."

Kinch glanced momentarily in Hogan's direction ."Don't worry. We're working on something which, if it works, they shouldn't be a problem any longer after tonight. Also, we need you to keep the colonel here for another forty-eight hours. I've already told him."

"Okay. Will do. Good luck tonight."

"Thanks. We'll need it." Kinch disappeared out the door and headed back to the barracks.

* * *

In the late afternoon, Kinch, LeBeau, and Carter gathered in the tunnel around the switchboard while Newkirk, seated at the switchboard, phoned SS headquarters. His eyes shifted to Kinch while the phone rang on the other end.

"You know what you have to do," said Kinch. "Make 'em believe you."

Newkirk was about to reply when someone picked up on the other end; he used his best German voice and asked to speak with either Corporal Hans Reinard or Sergeant Henrik Drapper. The voice on the other end asked him to hold on. He didn't have to wait long.

"This is Corporal Reinard speaking."

"Hans, this is Fritz. How are you?" asked Newkirk.

"Fritz, it is wonderful to hear your voice. How is your brother?"

"He's still in a coma but he's alive. I'll be away from work for the rest of the week. But I couldn't forget about our American friend. I'm dividing my time between the hospital and Stalag 13. And I discovered how our friend gets in and out of the prison camp."

"That's wonderful, Fritz. Henrik will be very pleased to hear the news. How does he do it?"

"Not on the telephone. You and Henrik need to see it for yourselves. I need both of you to meet me at the edge of the woods tonight near Stalag 13 around eleven p.m. tonight. I will show you both how he does it. I think we may have stumbled across an entire underground network. Hans, believe me when I say we will reap many rewards for this if we can expose it ourselves. Besides, we owe it to Reinhold to take care of Colonel Hogan once and for all."

"I will tell Henrik and we'll meet you tonight at the edge of the woods near the camp at eleven. Auf wiedersehen my friend."

Newkirk disconnected the call. "They'll both meet us at the edge of the woods near the camp tonight," he said.

Kinch smirked. "Perfect. Okay fellas," he looked at Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter. "Tonight we rid the colonel of the last two remaining members of those who hurt him."

"Oui," LeBeau quickly agreed. "Perhaps then the Colonel can stop being afraid and take back his life."

"Okay," Kinch said. "We'll head out about 2200 hours tonight and be ready for them. Then, we bring them back here and contact the underground and London so they can be sent to England where they can spend the remainder of the war in a nice English POW camp far away from the colonel. But we say nothing to Colonel Hogan until these two are dealt with. Then, and only then will we tell him everything."

"He'll be angry with us, Kinch, " Newkirk said.

"I know. But once he's had a chance to think about things, I feel he'll realize why we did what we did and forgive us."

* * *

Hans found Henrik waiting for him near the front door of the building. Henrik looked at his friend who was bursting from whatever news he had received on the phone.

"What is it?" Henrik asked. "What's got you so excited?"

"I just spoke with Fritz, Henrik."

"Fritz called? How is he? How is his brother?"

"He said his brother is still in a coma but holding on. He says he will be out the rest of the week. But he had some wonderful news for us." Hans noticed Henrik looking at him curiously. "He did some searching to take a break from the hospital, and discovered how Colonel Hogan gets in and out of the prison camp."

Henrik's eyes widened as his eyebrows shot upward as he stood up. "How? Did he tell you? What did he say?"

"He said he didn't want to chance telling me on the phone, but wants us to meet him tonight at eleven p.m. at the edge of the woods near Stalag 13 tonight and he will show us. He said he suspects we may have stumbled upon an underground network. He also believes we could reap many benefits from this."

"Did you say tonight?" Henrik asked his friend.

"Yes. Why? Is that a problem for you?"

"You will have to go by yourself and then tell me about it tomorrow. I have a family gathering to attend tonight with my two brothers Otto and Herman. I don't get to see Otto often as he is in the Wehrmacht. I cannot get out of it."

Hans seemed a bit dejected. "I understand. I will meet Fritz myself and tell you about it tomorrow then." He smiled. "Just think Henrik. Within a few days we could have Colonel Hogan in our custody and do with him what we wish before we kill him."

"Agreed, Hans. By the time we finish with him, he will beg for death. But before then, we will obtain every shred of information we can from him." He checked his watch. "I must leave now. I have a long drive ahead of me. Good luck tonight, Hans. And give Fritz my best." He quickly walked out the door with Hans who walked him to his car. After Henrik had driven away, Hans decided to get himself something to eat and relax before his meeting with Fritz and what he felt would be the beginning of the end for one American Colonel.

* * *

Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk made their way to the infirmary later that evening after evening roll call and before they prepared to leave camp to meet their 'guests.' They were met by Wilson who stopped them just after they entered.

"He's sleeping right now thankfully. I was worried for awhile after you left earlier Kinch."

"What happened? The colonel seemed okay before I left."

Wilson let out a deep breath. "He denies it, but I think believing those men will come back into this camp again and forcibly remove him shook him up more than he's willing to admit to me or anybody else. Frankly I don't know how he's keeping it together."

Kinch glanced over where Hogan was sleeping. "Joe, we're going out tonight and deal with the remaining two guards who assaulted him. With any luck, it'll be over tonight and he can relax and start to feel safe again."

"What should I tell the colonel if he asks to see one of you guys while you're all gone?" asked Wilson.

Kinch folded his arms. "Tell 'im we heard from London, were given an assignment, and you don't know the particulars. I'll come up with something between tonight and tomorrow morning. After morning roll call we'll tell him about the three remaining guards being dead and they won't be coming after him again."

The medic ran a hand over his hair. "I hope you're right about this nightmare coming to an end tonight, Kinch" he said. "Because even though the colonel faces death every time he goes out on a mission, I think what these guards did and will do to him again before they kill him is what's weighing heavily on his mind."

* * *

(1) "La mere de Dieu!" means "The mother of God!" and "Ces Bartards!" means "These bastards!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk were in the changing room each in various stages of getting ready for their rendezvous: Carter was busy applying greasepaint to his face, LeBeau was tucking his black turtleneck into his black trousers, Kinch pulling on his black turtleneck, and Newkirk, being the only one completely dressed, checked his weapon to make sure it was fully loaded. Satisfied, he made sure the safety was on. Checking his watch he noticed it was five after ten.

"I think we should get a move on chaps," he said. "It's gonna take at least a ruddy half-hour to forty-five minutes to reach our destination." He tucked his weapon into the back of his waistband.

Kinch checked his weapon and put on the safety. "C'mon, Newkirk, settle down," he said. "We'll get there with time to spare."

A few minutes later, Carter and LeBeau had both checked their weapons and announced they were ready to go. With a grim smile, Kinch looked at his friends. "Remember, we try and bring them back here alive if we can. Don't shoot unless absolutely necessary. Is that clear?"

The others nodded they understood. "Then let's go," Kinch said. He led the way out of the changing room to where the ladder leading up to the emergency tunnel was and ascended. The others followed behind him.

* * *

Hans quietly made his way to the edge of the woods until he could see the fence of Stalag 13 without concern that the guards or the guard tower searchlight would spot him. Checking his watch he saw he had a good fifteen minutes before 2300 hours; so, he simply knelt down to wait. He had wished Henrik could have been able to come with him, but he understood why he couldn't. Hans learned some time ago that family was important to his sergeant and he did not take family gatherings and a chance to see his brothers lightly. Besides, if all went well tonight, the three of them would have a real celebration in a few days. Yet, Hans didn't like being out by himself without backup. But he, Henrik and Fritz did not want to share what they were about to uncover with anyone else. _No, the glory and benefits for this belongs to the three of us and nobody else._

"Pssst! Hans? Henrik?" a soft voice said just barely loud enough to be heard by the German. He looked around not seeing anything or anyone. He shrugged thinking he had imagined it since he was alone.

"Pssst!" the voice said again, a bit louder again.

This time Hans shifted his position and looked in the direction from which the sound had come. "Fritz? Is that you?" he asked back in an equally low voice.

"Is Henrik with you?"

"No, he couldn't make it. Where are you? Come out where I can see you." Hans was starting to feel uneasy; there was something that felt wrong but he couldn't put his finger on what exactly. It was definitely Fritz's voice he heard. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a German lugar, clutching it tightly in his hand. He stood up. "Fritz, come out where I can see you!"

Just then, Hans felt the muzzle of a gun pressed against the back of his head.

"Let's do this nice and friendly like, shall we?" asked Kinch as he reached over and removed the lugar from Han's hand. "I suggest you stand still and remain real quiet; and don't try anything. I'd hate to have you die before you arrive in England as a POW for what you did to Colonel Hogan." Carter suddenly emerged from the bushes near Kinch, and with his own weapon aimed at Hans, the young sergeant smirked at the German. Newkirk and LeBeau emerged from the bushes on the other side to which Hans was facing.

"Put your hands on top of your head, nice and easy, mate," Newkirk ordered aiming his weapon at Hans head." He saw Hans comply. "That's a good lad," he added.

"What's going on here?" asked a confused Hans looking around before his eyes landed on Kinch. "You! What have you done to Sergeant Weidman? Where is he?"

"Oh, you mean your friend Fritz?" asked Newkirk. "I'm afraid he's dead. Shot while trying to escape he was."

Hans appeared stunned. "But, but, I spoke with him on the phone."

"Uh…not really," Newkirk added. Then, he spoke in his best Fritz-like voice. "I'm afraid you were speaking with me." He chuckled at seeing the German's eyebrows rise in disbelief.

"You murdered Fritz?" Hans stammered. "You **murdered** him!"

LeBeau smirked. "Murder is such a cold word. He wasn't murdered. He was going to be sent to London and he made a break for it and ran. Newkirk shot at him and aimed just a little to high. It was an accident. We're not like you and your friends," he added with anger.

"This is all about your precious Colonel Hogan isn't it?" Hans snickered. "I guess he didn't tell you everything, then, did he? He enjoyed what we did to him; in fact, he begged us for more! He couldn't get enough…" He never got to finish what he was saying as a fist suddenly connected with his jaw sending him sprawling on the ground stunned. Rubbing his jaw, Hans looked up wanting to know who hit him. Newkirk stood over him, trembling with rage, green eyes blazing and face dark; clenching and unclenching his fists while his arms hung at his sides. The two men stared at each other.

"You'd better shut your bloody mouth!" Newkirk demanded angrily. "I don't want to hear the Gov'nor's name leave your lips!"

Kinch, with an amused smirk on his face, gripped the Englander's shoulder. "Okay, Newkirk, take it easy," he said. "Even though I wouldn't object to seeing you pummel this guy into the ground, I'd like to see the bastard get to England in one piece."

Newkirk, still angry, looked at Kinch. "Kinch, I don't want to hear the Colonel's name mentioned by this ruddy bastard. Not now! Not ever!"

"Take it easy, Peter. There's a nice prison cell waiting for him in an English POW camp in London."

Hans, still looking up at the four men glaring at him, chuckled. "You'll never send me to London, swine. I'll see to that. And your precious Colonel Hogan will belong to us in every way again!" He shrank away when Newkirk lunged at him again but was held back by Kinch. In the ensuing confusion, nobody noticed Hans slip his fingers inside his belt. He put a fist to his mouth and coughed.

"Kinch, he swallowed something!" LeBeau cried out rushing forward. Kinch and Newkirk also gathered around the German as he sank to his knees before collapsing on the ground, and noticed his breathing becoming more and more shallow; yet, there was a weak almost victorious smile on his face. "I…told you…you'd…never send me…to…Lon…don…" He sighed and lay still.

Carter was the only one still standing, confused. He stared down at the now dead German. "What happened?" he asked.

Kinch placed two fingers against the man's neck. He grimly looked up. "He's dead," he said quietly. He closed the man's vacant, unseeing eyes, sighed wearily, and slowly got to his feet. He put his hands on his hips.

LeBeau, uttering a string of French obscenities, kicked the dead German in the side for taking the easy way out.

"Cyanide?" asked Newkirk looking at Kinch with puzzled eyes.

"Yep. I could smell the bitter almond scent. He must've had it hidden in a secret compartment inside his belt and retrieved it during the confusion."

Newkirk and LeBeau stood up. "What do we do with him, Kinch?" asked LeBeau nervously. "We can't leave him here. It's too close to camp."

"It's simple, mate. We'll have to bury the sorry sod, even though I'd rather leave his bloody body where it can rot. We can't leave 'im this close to the camp. It wouldn't do us any good if he's found." Newkirk looked around the area for a few minutes before finally speaking directly to Kinch. "If memory serves, isn't there an abandoned mine about two miles from here? We could leave 'im in there and cover 'im up with the debris that's gathered in there."

"Then let's go get it over with and then return to camp," Kinch replied. "Newkirk, grab his legs; I'll take his arms. Carter, you and LeBeau keep your eyes open and stay alert. We don't need any surprises before dispose of Hans here."

* * *

Several hours later, after having concealed Hans body inside the abandoned mine and covering it with debris they found inside and well as some things from outside, they felt confident he would not be found for awhile, if at all. It was apparent once they had arrived at their destination that nobody had been inside the mine for several years. After they had finished concealing the body, they began the trek back to camp; Kinch and Newkirk in front with LeBeau and Carter behind them. Nobody said anything until they could see the wire and guard tower of Stalag 13 in the distance.

"That's two down and one still to go," Newkirk said grimly. "And Henrik is the worse of 'em all."

"Oui," LeBeau agreed. "He led the others in the attack on the Colonel. Too bad he didn't show up tonight as well."

"I know," Kinch replied glancing over his shoulder. "But whatever the reason he didn't and he's still out there. I've a feeling it won't take him long to figure out Hans and Fritz are dead and that he's next."

"Yeah," Newkirk readily agreed. "And he's gonna become angry and probably more dangerous than he already is. So, we're gonna have to keep a close watch on Colonel Hogan and make sure Henrik doesn't try anything."

With the tree stump nearby, the men crouched down in the nearby bushes as they guard tower's searchlight shined over the area. When it had passed by, Kinch waved Carter and LeBeau towards the tree stump and watched nervously until he saw them climb down, closing the lid just before the searchlight passed by again from the opposite direction. Kinch then waved Newkirk forward. He waited and watched. Finally, when it was safe, Kinch followed the others below.

Once again safe in the tunnels beneath the camp, Kinch joined the others in the changing room. He sighed wearily. "I wish we could have gotten Hans to England," he said tiredly. "But at least he won't cause any more problems." He pulled his turtleneck off over his head. "I'll have to contact the underground and London and let them know we no longer have a package to send them."

"What you said up top, Kinch," said Carter. "About Henrik. What do you think he'll do once he finds out?"

Kinch folded his arms and thought about it for a few minutes. "I'd say he'll become very angry and scared that he's the only one of the four still alive. But, I also think he'll become more dangerous to the colonel and to us. We'll have to keep a sharp eye open and stay alert. There's no telling what he'll do when he finds out."

"Why don't you tell me what it is he'll find out, Kinch?" a voice suddenly said. The men turned to see Colonel Hogan standing in the entrance of the changing room with arms folded, his face unreadable.

"Colonel, what are you doing out of the infirmary?" asked Kinch, sensing Hogan probably heard them talking. "Does Wilson know you're down here? Remember your leg injury."

"I got tired of lying in bed, no he doesn't and my leg aches. But don't change the subject," Hogan ordered. "I heard most of your conversation. What did you fellas do? And I don't want any more lies. I want the truth and I want it now!" He stared hard at each man none of whom could look at him ."I'm waiting," he insisted.

"We'd better tell 'im, mates," Newkirk said. The others looked at him and nodded reluctantly.

Kinch swallowed hard. "Colonel, you'd better have a seat. This is gonna take awhile."

Hogan sat down on a bench in the changing room near the tunnel wall and waited.

* * *

"**YOU DID WHAT?!**" Hogan shouted after Kinch had explained everything to him from the moment he had been assaulted up to and including the suicide of Hans. He covered his eyes with his hand as he felt an immense headache rapidly building. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He shook his head slowly; then, he looked up at his men, his face dark and angry. "Who appointed the four of you judge and jury?! Who, damn it!?"

"Colonel…." Newkirk began quietly.

"Answer my question, Newkirk!" Hogan was getting louder and louder.

"Colonel, we did what we believed we had to do in order for you to begin to feel safe here again and to hopefully be able to recover emotionally. We didn't kill either Hans or Fritz in cold blood even though we originally planned to. Fritz tried to escape from here and was shot and killed accidentally. Hans took his own life with cyanide. If we had to we'd do it again to protect you, sir."

Hogan got to his feet and rubbed his hands up and down his arms. "Who asked you to protect me? I can take care of myself."

"Colonel, look at you," Kinch added. "You're more tense than we've ever seen you no matter how you try to hide it. You haven't been yourself since you were raped…"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Kinch," Hogan said. "I'm fine."

"No you're not, Colonel," Kinch replied coming closer. "Sure you can hide it from the others, but we know you better than they do. You're scared all the time and have been since those bastards came into this camp and assaulted you a second time, and you know it. You've been afraid they'll come back again. Colonel, we did what we had to do to protect you from them."

"You had no right," Hogan repeated, resting the side of his head against the wall and closing his eyes. He could feel his entire body tense. He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking around, he saw Kinch behind him. The radioman saw the fear.

"So you're fine," it was more of a statement than a question. "Sir, look at you. You tense up whenever somebody even puts a hand on your shoulder. You're not sleeping well if at all. You're barely holding it together. And you expect us to believe you're fine."

"Kinch, I will not accept you speaking to me in that tone of voice." His face was turning a shade of crimson.

Kinch glanced over his shoulder at the others. "Guys, give us some privacy, will you."

"Sure, mon ami," LeBeau replied. "We'll be upstairs if you need us. We can change later." He then waved Newkirk and Carter to follow him. As they walked out, Carter glanced back at his commander.

"We really did do what we had to do, Colonel," he said softly. " We didn't mean to upset you. All we wanted to do was protect you from those animals. I'm sorry if we caused you to be disappointed in us." He noticed Hogan sigh but not answer. Shrugging, Carter followed the others out leaving Kinch and Hogan alone in the tunnel.

"Carter was telling you the truth, Colonel," Kinch stated. "We never intended to cause you any unnecessary anger or stress doing what we did. We just wanted to protect you. Plain and simple."

"It's not that I don't personally appreciate what you and the others tried to do, because I do. But you had no right to go behind my back and do it without telling me what you had planned beforehand."

"This isn't about you being angry at us for doing what we did without telling you," Kinch responded carefully. "You're upset because you wanted to do it and we deprived you of killing them yourself. That's what this is really about, isn't it?"

"What?!" Hogan shook his head as he stormed past Kinch rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's true, isn't it, Colonel?" Kinch asked. He knew he was treading on thin ice. "You wanted them dead but you wanted to be the one to do it. You feel we deprived you of that satisfaction."

"You're wrong, Kinch."

"That's what this is really about. You're angry because** you** didn't get the chance to do it."

Hogan stared at the radioman. Internally, he knew Kinch was right in his assumption. But it was something Hogan didn't even think about himself until it was pointed out to him. Yes, he had wanted them dead. All four of them. How could he tell Kinch he was right?

Hogan massaged his forehead as his headache was getting worse. "I can't do this anymore. I can't." He pressed a hand against the dirt wall and leaned forward with eyes closed, his other hand covering his eyes, his back to Kinch. "You're right. I wanted them all dead for what they did to me, but I could never kill anyone in cold blood. I wanted them to suffer as they made me suffer. But the four of you took it on yourselves and I don't know if I can forgive that."

Kinch came up behind his commander and put a hand on his shoulder. He felt Hogan tense up and jerk away. "Colonel, just so you'll know, Henrik is still out there waiting for you. He was suppose to show up tonight with Hans and didn't for some reason. Once he finds out about Hans and Fritz, my guess is he's gonna come looking to get you one way or the other."

"That's small consolation, Kinch," Hogan said wearily. "Having only Henrik to deal with doesn't excuse what you and the others did." He hung his head sadly. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you and the others for this."

"Colonel…" Kinch began.

"Don't, Kinch. Don't say another word," Hogan interrupted. "I need to be alone right now." He abruptly turned and headed in the direction of the ladder which led to the secret passage in the infirmary leaving Kinch alone.

Letting out a deep breath, Kinch was scared that in taking the actions he and the others had possibly overstepped their bounds; yet somehow he still didn't think so. He just hoped in time after he had a chance to think about it, Hogan would see why they did what they did and forgive them. If not, would Hogan go as far as to replace the four of them as his core unit? He collapsed onto a bench in the changing room with hands folded between his knees, arms on thighs staring into space when Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter suddenly appeared from around the corner.

"I thought you guys went upstairs," Kinch said looking up grimly.

"We never got past the ladder leading to the barracks," Newkirk replied just as grimly. "We started back to try and convince the Gov'nor why we did what we did and heard most of the conversation. I'm sorry, mate."

"What if the Colonel doesn't forgive us?" asked Carter. "What do you think he'll do then?"

"I don't know, Andrew," Kinch replied quietly. "He could resign his command or…" he let his voice trail off as he stared at his hands rubbing them together.

"Or he could replace us as his team," added LeBeau sadly. He looked at Kinch. "Do you think he'll do that, mon ami?"

"In his current state of mind I don't know what the Colonel will do, LeBeau," Kinch replied. "I think the best thing we can do right now is give him some space and let him think things over for awhile. Right now he's angry."

"I hope he forgives us and realizes we did what had to be done to keep him safe," Carter exclaimed softly. "I'd hate to see our family break up over this after everything we've been through together." He pulled his turtleneck off over his head.

Nobody responded to Carter's words as each man kept his thoughts to himself while changing back into his uniform. But even though nobody uttered a word, there was one thought that each man knew the others agreed on; and that was what would Hogan do when he had time to think about what they'd done, and that they would accept whatever his final decision was, even if they didn't want to.


	19. Chapter 19

****This chapter has a somewhat graphic scene in it.****

**Chapter 19**

Hogan didn't immediately return to the infirmary. Instead, he sat down with the back of his head against the dirt wall with legs bent and arms wrapped around his bent legs. He had a lot to think about. He couldn't believe what Kinch had told him, nor what his men had done behind his back. _What could they have been thinking? _he asked himself. He bowed his head and shook it.

"Something troubling you, Colonel?" asked a familiar voice beside him. Hogan turned his head and noticed Wilson standing close by with his arms folded.

"Joe, what are you doing here?"

"Well, when my patient sneaks out of the infirmary without my knowledge, I feel it's only right that I go after him and bring 'im back."

"Yeah, well…" Hogan turned away and stared at a spot on the dirt floor. "I'm only a make-believe patient to begin with. Besides, I'm not in the mood for conversation right now."

"What's wrong, Colonel?" the medic asked again sitting down beside his commanding officer. "And don't tell me nothing because I can see from your face something's upsetting you."

"I **said** I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone and go back to the infirmary. I'll be back. I just need to be alone for awhile and think."

Wilson studied Hogan's face for awhile before deciding it would be best to not push. Getting to his feet he started to leave then paused and looked over his shoulder. "I expect you back in the infirmary in one hour, Colonel. I can't risk you being gone any longer than that." Hogan did not respond. Sighing, the medic walked away knowing what he'd have to do and who he'd have to speak with. He was fortunate to run into the men still in the changing room. He noticed the same depressed looks on their faces and suspected something had happened between Hogan and his team.

"I just saw the colonel in the tunnel sitting near the entrance to the infirmary. He looked the same as you fellas. What's happened?"

In a few words, Kinch retold what had happened and Hogan's reaction to what they had done. When he had finished, the men watched Wilson fold his arms and shake his head.

"I knew he was angry about something," the medic said. "But he wouldn't say about what. In fact, he wouldn't talk about it at all."

"I don't know what we'll do if the colonel decides to replace the four of us," Carter said softly. "I mean, we're a family. Families have disagreements all the time, but they don't break up because they disagree over things."

"No they shouldn't, Carter," Wilson said. "The colonel's angry right now. When he's had a chance to think things over and calm down, I'm sure he'll see why you fellas did what you did."

"I don't know about that, Joe," Newkirk chimed in, sitting on a bench. "The Gov'nor was pretty sore. I don't think he's gonna be in such a forgiving mood this time."

Wilson rubbed the back of his neck. "Let me speak with him. Maybe I can get him to see why you did what you did. Perhaps then he'll realize just what good friends he has."

* * *

Hogan, having gotten to his feet, climbed up the ladder leading to the secret entrance in the infirmary. Trudging to the bed he was occupying, he sat down dejectedly with his hands clasped between his knees, arms on his thighs. He stared at a spot on the floor. He was torn regarding his feelings at the moment.

_I wanted them dead; all of them. I wanted them to suffer as they made me suffer. But the men shouldn't have taken it on themselves to punish them. I should have punished them. _

_I should have been the one, not them. But they did it for me. They did it to protect me. But I can protect myself._

"Colonel, can we talk for a few minutes?" Wilson asked as he emerged through the secret entrance. He saw Hogan with his back to him.

Hogan looked around and then turned his back to the medic again. "I don't feel like talking right now, Joe. Just leave me alone."

"No I won't leave you alone, Colonel," Wilson replied as he sat down beside Hogan on the bed. "I know what's upsetting you, and you need to talk about it."

"I don't have to talk about anything," the colonel replied looking at his hands as he rubbed them together between his knees. "I don't need to and don't want to. So just leave me alone. Please. I'm asking you nicely."

"Okay, you don't want to talk, then fine. You don't have to; just listen then. Colonel, what you suffered was without a doubt the most horrific thing anyone could ever endure. You were in pain both mentally and physically. And your men suffered right along with you. They felt your pain. They were angry over what was done to you. And the mere thought of those three getting away with what they did to you was more than they could stomach. They wanted them to pay the same as you did. And then when those same men came into camp and molested you again, it was the final straw as far as they were concerned."

"They had no right to do anything without running it by me first," Hogan said not looking at the medic.

"Let me ask you something, Colonel. Do you trust these men?"

With narrowed eyes, Hogan faced Wilson this time. "How can you ask me that? You know I trust these men with my life."

The medic sensed he had the colonel's undivided attention. "Okay. You say you trust them with your life, yet you don't trust them to do what they have to in order to protect your life. You can't have it both ways, sir. You can't trust them with some things and not with others. You either trust them completely or you don't."

"They shouldn't have taken it upon themselves to get revenge on Hans, Henrik and Fritz. Not without clearing it with me first."

"Colonel, right now Kinch is the Acting Senior POW in this camp. He made a decision after those men assaulted you in the woods that they would have to pay for what they did. Then those same men had the gall to come here which proved to your men that these bastards could come into this camp and get you any time they wanted to unless they were stopped and soon. So a decision was made to get rid of them permanently. You weren't in any condition to deal with these three and your men knew that. They wanted to spare you the added stress of having to deal with your assailants by dealing with them themselves. And I might add they did not kill them in cold blood as they originally wanted to. They didn't because they knew in the end that's not what you would want them to do. So, they decided to send them to England one at a time. Unfortunately, one of them was shot and killed while trying to escape, and another committed suicide rather than be sent to London. They did what you would have done, Colonel. You're upset because they handled things thus depriving you of having to deal with these men again. You should consider yourself lucky, sir, to have men under your command willing to incur your anger by protecting you at any cost." Wilson noticed Hogan look at his hands again. "The decision is yours, sir. But personally, I'd want friends who thought and cared enough about me to be willing to risk my friendship just to protect me from harm. After all, isn't that what you instilled in them? To take care of each other and to look out for each other?"

"Of course it is, but I'm not their responsibility."

"To them your are. They look after you the same way you look after them. They'll always watch your back. Anybody who knows them can see it."

Hogan looked up and let out a deep breath. He then massaged his forehead and closed his eyes. He was beginning to develop a headache. "Joe, I'd like to lay down for awhile," he said without looking at the medic.

"Headache, Colonel?"

"A real beaut."

"I'll get you some aspirin," Wilson said getting up slowly. He walked to the drug cabinet and, removing a small bottle, opened it and shook two white aspirin tablets into his hand. He then filled a glass with cold water, and handed both to the colonel who placed the aspirin in his mouth and washed them down with the water. He then laid down on the bed with his hands clasped behind his head staring up at the ceiling. Wilson left him alone hoping he had given the colonel something to think about.

* * *

Kinch and the others returned to the barracks and were careful not to make any noise as they saw the barracks was dark and the other prisoners sleeping. The prisoners were use to Hogan and his men coming and going at all odd hours so hearing the rattle of the lower bunk as it rose didn't awaken them. Kinch motioned for the others to follow him into the colonel's quarters where they could talk privately. They then maneuvered their way expertly in the darkened common room and silently opened the door to the small room and entered, closing it quietly. LeBeau found the desk lamp in the dark and turned it on while Kinch made sure the shutters were secured. Finally, the four men found places to sit down; nobody said anything for a few minutes.

"What do you think the colonel will decide?" Carter finally asked from his seat on the lower bunk beside Newkirk.

"I wish I knew, Andrew," said Kinch who was seated at Hogan's desk while LeBeau, with arms folded, was leaning against the desk. "I've never seen the colonel so upset as he was when he found out what we were doing."

"I don't mind tellin' you, mates, for the first time I'm concerned the Gov'nor might not be so forgiving like he's been in the past. I mean, we did go behind his back and all."

"But only to protect him from those filthy Bosche," LeBeau added. "And I for one would do it again if I had to."

"So would I," Carter chimed in. "But what do we do if he decides to replace us with different people because he feels he can't trust us? I mean, what do we do then?"

The men all exchanged worried looks at Carter's words. None of them knew what they would do if Hogan decided he couldn't work with them anymore. Finally, it was LeBeau who broke the tension-filled silence.

"If the colonel decides he cannot work with us anymore then we will have to respect his decision however painful it will be for us. But, should that be his decision, I will do everything in my power to regain his trust even if I never again am a member of his team." He looked at the others and saw they agreed.

"But what if he never trusts us again?" asked Carter. "I mean, it would be kinda hard living in a barracks with a commanding officer who you knew didn't trust you and probably feels uncomfortable having you around and all. I don't know about you guys, but if after everything Colonel Hogan still doesn't trust us, I'm gonna request a transfer to another barracks."

"Look, everybody just wait a minute," said Kinch. "We're all letting our imaginations run away from us. It might not even come to that. I'm sure once the colonel calms down and has some time to think about things, he'll understand why we did what we did and will forgive us. We just have to give him time."

"Oui. I just hope Wilson can reach the colonel and get him to understand. I'd hate to change barracks at this point."

Sighing wearily Kinch checked his watch. "Look, it's getting late. I suggest we all turn in and try and get some sleep. I have to speak with Wilson tomorrow about having the colonel discharged from the infirmary and then speak with Klink after roll call."

The men looked at each other. "Are you sure that's wise, mate? I mean having the colonel released from the infirmary with Henrik still on the loose."

"I know what you're saying, Newkirk, and normally I would have the colonel remain where he is. But there's two reasons why he has to be released and returned to the barracks. One is that with just Henrik to deal with, it's easier with only one of them to worry about. And two, we can't keep the colonel in the infirmary any longer without Klink becoming suspicious and insisting on sending Colonel Hogan to the hospital. No, he's better off in the barracks in his quarters." Kinch saw the others agreed with his logic. He then stood up. "And now, I suggest we all get some sleep." Turning off the desk lamp, the four men quietly left Hogan's quarters each knowing they weren't likely to get much if any sleep tonight.

* * *

Sleep did not come easily to Hogan that night either. After hours of thinking and two aspirin, he found his headache had grown in intensity. So, after convincing Wilson to give him two more aspirin, he decided to try and get some sleep. But it was a troubled sleep fraught with tension, danger, and anguish. Especially for him.

"_So, it's Colonel Hogan," the General snickered. "We didn't think we'd see you again so soon."_

"_See me again? I don't understand, General. I've never seen you before in my life."_

"_You couldn't have forgotten us already." _

"_You must have mistaken me for someone else, General. I've never seen you before in my entire life. And in case you aren't aware, I am ill with pneumonia so I suggest you might want to leave, and don't let the door hit you on the way out."_

"_Apparently you don't remember us, so, we're just going to have to help you remember. Oh, by the way, Reinhold sends his regards."_

"Ummmm," Hogan murmured in his sleep as he started becoming restless. He tightly gripped the blanket in his hands, twisting it.

_He became tense as the three men moved closer to his bed. The name Reinhold seemed to sound familiar to him. But before he could open his mouth the three men pounced on him, two of them roughly grabbing his arms causing pain in his injured wrists. The General sat down beside him on the bed with a wicked grin on his face. Hogan began kicking with his feet and fighting like a wild animal to get free. "Take your damn hands off me! I'll kill you bastards! I'll see you all dead! Get off of me! Now!" He continued kicking. Then the two guards sat on his legs pinning them down._ _He continued struggling despite the pain shooting through his injured leg. "Not again! I'll kill you!" He then felt a hand cover his mouth._

_The General introduced himself and the others. He then proceeded to tell him how they enjoyed being entertained by him in the woods. They were here to make sure he didn't tell anybody about what happened in the woods._

"No! Not again! Don't!" Hogan muttered out loud in his sleep as he began tossing and turning.

"_I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget, Colonel," the General said as he slid his other hand under the waistband of Hogan's pajama bottom. "You see, you responded when we had sex with you in the woods." The hand slid further down. "You lost control, Colonel. And before we leave this room, you will lose control again." Hogan felt the hand wrap itself around his penis and begin to stroke it._

"Stop! Please stop!" Hogan was becoming agitated and began fighting with his imaginary attackers. "Not again! Somebody help me! Help me!" The blanket was now a disheveled mess, half-on, half-off the bed.

_The more he tried to get away, the tighter the grip on his arms and legs; the more pain he felt. The General chuckled. "I'm going to make you respond before we leave. And after you do, you'll be so humiliated and ashamed and feel so dirty, you won't want anybody to know what happened. Do you like how this feels, Colonel?" He continued pumping all the while enjoying Hogan's struggle to maintain control over himself and to get free._

"Nooo," Hogan muttered as he hugged the blanket against himself. His eyes were tightly shut. "Stop. Don't. Let me go! Kinch, Carter, LeBeau, Newkirk! Help me!"

"_Kinch, Carter, LeBeau, Newkirk, help me! Stop!"_

_The General chuckled. "Your men can't help you, Colonel….you got rid of them. Your new men can't help you either. They don't know how things are. Nobody can save you from us."_

_Hogan squeezed his eyes shut as he recalled he had replaced his men with others. The stroking continued. "Nooo. Kinch, LeBeau, Newkirk, Carter! Make them stop!"_

_Hogan felt himself beginning to lose control when the General suddenly stopped what he was doing. Hogan opened his eyes and saw him look at the other two. "We can't remain here and do this. I suggest we remove him from this camp and take him somewhere and continue what we're doing." He then looked down into the colonel's terrified eyes and smiled. "You belong to us now, Colonel, in every way. We_ _are leaving Stalag 13 and taking you with us." He then laughed a sadistic laugh._

"NOOOOO!" Hogan found himself shouting and thrashing about.

"Colonel, wake up! It's Wilson. Colonel, you're having a nightmare. Wake up, sir!" The medic shook Hogan's shoulder.

Still in the throes of his nightmare, Hogan, opening his eyes suddenly, took a swing at the medic who just managed to duck. He then gripped Hogan's wrists and pinned his arms while looking into the terrified brown eyes. "Colonel, it's Wilson. You were having a nightmare. It's all right. You're safe. You're in the infirmary and nobody's gonna harm you. It's all right, sir."

The medic felt the colonel's body calming down. "Wilson?"

The medic smiled. "Yeah, Colonel, it's Wilson. Are you all right now, sir?"

Letting out a deep breath, Hogan swallowed hard. "What happened?"

"You must've had some nightmare, sir. You were thrashing about and calling out for Kinch, LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk to help you." He released the colonel's wrists. He watched Hogan rub his forehead.

"Then it wasn't real," was all the colonel said. He sighed wearily. "It wasn't real," he repeated.

"Care to tell me about it, sir?" asked Wilson. "It might make you feel better."

Hogan turned his head toward Wilson and studied his concerned face for a moment. He sighed. "No I don't. But there is one thing you can do for me."

"What's that, sir?" Wilson asked knowing he wasn't going to get anything further out of Hogan.

"I know it's late. But go to the barracks and have my men come to the infirmary. I need to see them."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Despite the lateness of the hour Wilson sensed the urgency in Hogan's request to have his men brought to him now and he quickened his pace in the tunnel that would take him to barracks two. Knowing of the rift between Hogan and his men over their actions regarding the SS guards, and the subsequent nightmare the colonel had followed by Hogan calling out in his sleep for his men proved one thing to Wilson; the colonel had reached a decision regarding the problem. Reaching the ladder at the end of the tunnel Wilson climbed up and gave the signal that somebody below wanted to come up into the barracks. When he got no response, he repeated the signal again and waited. A few short minutes later, the bunk rose and Wilson saw the faces of Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk looking down at him.

"What's wrong?" asked Kinch. "Did something happen to the colonel?"

"Yes and no," the medic replied climbing up and stepping into the common room. "But not here." He waved his hand for the others to follow him. Kinch struck the hidden mechanism and as soon as the bunk dropped over the tunnel opening he caught up with the others who waited for him outside the colonel's private quarters. They all went inside and Newkirk switched on the desk lamp.

"I'll make this short," Wilson explained. "The Colonel had a nightmare. My guess, it was about those guards attacking him."

Newkirk rubbed the back of his neck. "Blimey, I was hopin' the Gov'nor wouldn't have any more of those bleedin' nightmares once he found out what happened to 'im."

"So was I," the medic agreed. "But there's something else." He saw the men looking at him now with worry. "It's nothing bad if that's what you're thinking. It's just that during his nightmare, he called out for you guys to help him. When I was able to wake him up, he asked me to have you guys come to the infirmary. He wants to see you."

Hearing that information, the men exchanged looks. "You sure he asked to see us?" Carter inquired, puzzled. "I mean, he's upset with us."

"I'm positive. His exact words were for me to get you guys because he wanted to see you despite the lateness of the hour."

"Then I guess we'd better not keep Colonel Hogan waiting," Kinch said. He looked at the others. "Let's go."

Switching off the lamp, Kinch opened the door and the five men exited and made their way to the double bunk. Striking the hidden mechanism again, they watched the bunk rise. Then, each one with Kinch bringing up the rear, climbed down. Once they were below, Kinch tripped the latch locking the tunnel opening to keep others out. They then quickly headed in the direction of the infirmary.

* * *

Hogan was sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet planted on the floor. He was massaging his forehead with closed eyes. His head was pounding despite the aspirin and he felt so drained; drained completely. This entire experience had worn him out and he didn't know if he would ever recover from it or if he even wanted to. Right now he wished he could just give up and return to London never having to deal with things like what happened to him again. _Who are you kidding, Rob? You know you wouldn't leave these men who depend on you to protect them and keep them safe. You're responsible for these men. You can't just abandon them because you want to run away and hide. Besides, running away and hiding is not who you are. You're not a coward. You can get over this. It will just take time._

"Colonel?" a voice said from behind him.

Raising his head and glancing around, Hogan saw Wilson and his team standing near the bed he was seated on. Kinch looked him in the eyes. "Colonel, we came as soon as Wilson said you wanted to see us."

A small smile appeared on Hogan's face. "I promise I won't bite, fellas. Have a seat."

Reluctantly, the four men sat on the bed opposite their commander while Wilson excused himself and went to the opposite end of the infirmary to give them some privacy but yet within shouting distance if his services were needed. But Wilson allowed a smile to appear as he suspected his services would not be required.

Hogan ran his hands down his face and clasped them together just his lower jaw. He saw his men waiting and looking at him with worry and expectation as to what he was going to say. He let out a deep breath he didn't even realize he had been holding.

"First off, I want to apologize for my reaction earlier when you guys told me about Fritz and Hans," Hogan said quietly.

"No need to apologize, Colonel," Carter said. "We understand how upset you must've been when we told you."

"Oui, mon Colonel," added LeBeau. "We apologize for doing what we did without telling you. But please don't ask us to apologize for the action we took to protect you from those filthy Bosche."

Hogan held up a hand stopping any other remarks. "I know you guys were angry over what was done to me and wanted to make the ones who were guilty pay for it. I understand that. And I'm not asking you to apologize for the action you took. Nor am I asking you to apologize for not telling me about it. I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind to hear about it much less deal with it. I just…" he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "God, I didn't think this would be so difficult for me to say." He opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his other hand which rested between his knees. He saw Kinch with his hand on his, his face unreadable.

"Take your time, Colonel," he said. "We're not going anywhere." He could still feel Hogan tense up, but did not remove his hand.

Hogan again allowed a tired smile to appear. "I was wrong and you guys were right. I suddenly saw and realized what might have happened without you guys around and stopping the two of them. Without any of you, there would have been nobody to possibly stop them from removing me from this camp and repeating what they did to me in the woods before they killed me."

"Gov'nor, every man in this camp would've stopped them bloody Krauts from removing you from this camp for whatever reason."

"Perhaps, Newkirk. But you guys know how and what I think and over time learned to trust your instincts when you feel something is wrong as did Carter when he entered my quarters when those three guards were in camp. It could take time for someone else to know how I think and feel. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I couldn't ask for four better friends than you four, and I'd have to be crazy to replace any of you because you acted on your own by using your judgment and doing what you thought was right."

The men looked at each other.

"Geez, Colonel," said Carter, puzzled. "Does that mean you're not gonna replace us with someone else?"

Hogan allowed his famous smirk to appear. "Yes, Carter. We're stuck with each other until we all walk out that front gate as free men. I only ask one thing of each of you."

"What's that, sir?" asked Newkirk.

"I am not your responsibility but you are mine. It's not your job to look after me. As your commander it's my job to look after the men under my command."

Newkirk shook his head. "Beggin' the Colonel's pardon. But you **are** our responsibility, sir. And nothin' you say is gonna change that. Even after the war, sir, you'll **still** be our responsibility."

"Oui," LeBeau added with a smile. "So you better get use to it, mon Colonel."

Hogan's eyes shifted to Kinch who had a grin on his face. "Sorry, Colonel," he said. "But I agree with them."

"Me too, boy. I mean Colonel," added Carter with a sheepish grin.

Hogan sighed. He was deeply touched not only by how his men felt but were determined to protect him no matter what he said. And right now, he was feeling good for the first time in he didn't know how long, and didn't want the feeling to go away. He blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. All he wanted to do right now was simply look at them; his good friends. The best friends he could and would ever have.

After he had collected himself, he spoke again. "We'll discuss that later. I'm too tired to discuss it now. Tired but relieved."

"Relieved, sir?" asked Kinch, puzzled.

"Yeah, Kinch. Relieved that I didn't act hastily and replace you guys when I was angry. Would have been the biggest mistake of my life and career."

Kinch smirked. "Officers are entitled to one every now and then."

"I'll remember you said that, Kinch," Hogan said with a chuckle.

"Colonel, Wilson said you had a nightmare before you asked to see us," said LeBeau. "Do you want to talk about it? We are willing to listen."

Hogan shook his head. "Not now, LeBeau. One day perhaps. But not now." That seemed to satisfy the Frenchman and the others as well.

Newkirk rubbed his hands together. "Colonel, I hate to mention this right now with you feelin' a bit better and all. But Henrik's still out there. And once he finds out about Hans and Fritz, he's just liable to come after you himself. We gotta have a plan to deal with 'im before he does."

Hogan turned to his second-in-command. "Well, Kinch? You're still the Acting Senior POW. What do you think?"

Kinch noticed the others and his commander looking to him for an answer. "Colonel, right now I'm not sure what to do. I'd like to give it some more thought. But I agree with Newkirk. We'll need a plan and soon. However, just so you know, in the morning I'm going to have Wilson discharge you and send you back to the barracks because keeping you here any longer might arouse Klink's suspicion."

"Okay."

"Also, I feel Henrik, even though he's still a threat, won't know about Hans and possibly Fritz for at least twenty-four hours. I'll have something planned before then. I promise. But now, sir, I suggest you get some rest."

"Well, I see there's been no bloodshed while I was gone," Wilson said with a slight grin. "Colonel? You all right?"

"I'm fine, Joe. Really. Just tired."

"How's your headache?"

"Seems to have lessened somewhat if you must know."

"Glad to hear it." The medic looked at the men. "If you men are through, I'd like the Colonel to get some rest. He's had a rough go of it earlier."

The men all got to their feet. Hogan's eyes never left them.

"We'll see you tomorrow, Colonel," said Kinch. He then turned to Wilson. "Joe, tomorrow, I suggest you discharge the colonel. If he's here any longer Klink might start asking questions we don't want asked. But if he asks why you're discharging the colonel, just tell him he overdid it after recovering from the pneumonia but now he's fine and can return to the barracks."

"No problem."

"Thanks." Then with a smile at his commander, he and the others left via the secret entrance leaving Hogan and Wilson alone.

Alone again, the medic sat down on the edge of the bed as Hogan lay down with his hands clasped behind his head, a slight smile on his face.

"Looks like you resolved your issues with the men, Colonel," he said.

"Yeah I did. Somebody told me I was lucky to have such good friends who cared enough about me to risk my anger and friendship to protect me." His eyes shifted to Wilson. "You wouldn't know who said that would you, Joe?"

Wilson smirked. "Haven't a clue." He checked his watch. "Well, it's late, sir, and we both need to get some sleep. So, I'll say goodnight." He got to his feet and started to walk away.

"Joe?"

Wilson paused and looked over his shoulder. "Yes, sir?"

"Thanks."

Wilson smiled. "You're welcome, Colonel. Get some sleep."

With an amused grin on his face, Hogan turned on his side and pulled the blanket up over him and closed his eyes.

* * *

Come morning, The men fell out of barracks two and stood in formation while Schultz and Klink waited. Their jaws dropped when they saw Hogan emerge from the barracks and take his place in line beside Newkirk, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Colonel Hogan, while I'm glad to see you back attending roll call again," Klink began. "I must ask what you're doing here? Has Sergeant Wilson discharged you from the infirmary?"

"Yes, he has, Kommandant," Hogan replied blandly keeping his face unreadable.

Klink turned to his Sergeant-of-the-guard. "Schultz, did you know anything about this?"

"Herr Kommandant… I…that is to say…."

"Colonel, Schultz doesn't know anything about it. I had barely returned to my quarters when Sergeant Schultz entered the barracks and announced it was time for roll call. Sergeant Wilson said he would inform you afterward."

"He should have told me prior to roll call," Klink announced trying to sound annoyed. "There is no excuse for this!"

"But Colonel, have a heart. If he did that Sergeant Wilson would then be late for roll call himself and you wouldn't like that either. You can't have it both ways, sir." The corners of Hogan's mouth began to curl upward.

Klink marched straight up to the American and stood toe-to-toe with his American counter-part. "Hogaaaaaaan, are you trying to irritate me this morning?" He didn't notice Hogan's reaction to his closeness.

"No sir. I just know how you hate prisoners to miss roll call. I just thought I'd point that out. Besides, you know what they say, sir. Better late than never."

Klink rolled his eyes before looking at Schultz. "Schultz, dismiss your men. After that, I want you to bring Sergeant Wilson to my office immediately." He saluted.

Schultz saluted in return. "Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." He then spun around and faced the prisoners while Klink marched back to the Kommandantur. "All prisoners diss-missed!" He then turned away and headed for barracks twelve.

As the prisoners dispersed, Hogan's team gathered around their colonel as he closed his eyes momentarily and swallowed the imaginary lump in his throat. They noticed the color had drained from his face and he was now white as a sheet.

"You all right, Colonel?" Kinch asked sensing Hogan's nervousness.

"Yeah, I'm all right," Hogan lied. He couldn't admit to the men that Klink's closeness had rattled him. He was afraid Klink was going to touch him. _C'mon, Rob. You've gotta get a grip on yourself. If you can't handle being close to another man how do you expect to perform your duties? There's nothing but men in this camp. "_I'll be in my quarters," he said in a strained voice as he abruptly turned and walked away and into the barracks leaving his men staring after him.

"Would somebody tell me what just happened?" asked Kinch. "The Colonel looked okay until Klink came close to him.

"You noticed that too?" asked LeBeau.

Newkirk was already heading for the barracks door. "Let's go and find out what's goin' on. Something's not right with the Gov'nor." He led the way into the barracks with the others following. A quick scan of the room showed Hogan was nowhere to be seen. The Englander, without breaking stride, then headed straight to the door to Hogan's quarters and knocked. "Colonel, can we talk to you a moment?" He got no answer and knocked again.

* * *

Hogan was sitting at his desk with his face buried in his hands. He suspected his men had seen his reaction when Klink was close to him. He ran his hands down his face. _I lost it in front of the men. How can I even face them? How can they even look me in the face? They won't ever be able to trust me again. Face it, Rob. You're finished here. You can't command anymore._ It was then he heard the knocking on the door and Newkirk's voice asking to come in. His eyes shifted to the door he had locked after entering. _He couldn't let them see him. He was too ashamed to have them see him now. He'd rather die to have them see him after this. _The knocking persisted. Hogan slowly got up and walked to the door of his quarters.

"Gov'nor, we need to speak with you. It's important, sir. Please open the door."

Hogan subconsciously reached out his hand and gripped the doorknob but then let it go. He just couldn't. He turned and started back to the desk but something made him stop and turn towards the door again. He let out a deep breath, unlocked his door and opened it. The men were standing there with worried looks.

"Fellas, I don't feel like talking right now," he said in a strained voice. "I'd also like to be left alone."

The men looked at each other and finally Newkirk, sensing his commander's uneasiness, looked at the others. "Fellas, could you give the Gov'nor and me a moment." The others knew immediately what the Englander was wanting of them. Without a word, they turned and reluctantly walked away leaving Hogan and Newkirk alone. Newkirk then faced Hogan. "Colonel, it's just me and you now. I'd really like to talk with you a minute. And beggin' the Colonel's pardon, but I must insist on it. Now, you can slam the door in me face if you want, sir, but I'll just keep knockin' on your door until you let me in."

With a irritated sigh, Hogan abruptly turned and walked away leaving the door open. Newkirk slowly walked inside and closed the door behind him. Seeing Hogan seated at his desk, Newkirk sat on the lower bunk facing the colonel.

"Colonel, you're still afraid, aren't you?" he asked quietly. "I could see it in your face when Klink got close to you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Newkirk. Why should Klink being close to me scare me?" He looked the Englander in the face.

"Because you're still afraid is why."

"That's ridiculous," Hogan replied getting up and walking over to the window staring through the frosted glass. _I can't ever tell anybody. It's too embarrassing. I'd be the laughing stock of the entire camp._ He didn't hear Newkirk getting up. However, Hogan suddenly flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He spun around to find Newkirk standing close behind him. Hogan felt his nerves getting the best of him, and he struggled to mask his feelings.

"Colonel, I could feel it when I put me hand on your shoulder just now. You tensed up immediately and flinched at me touch. And you're also white as a sheet. Face it, Colonel, you're still afraid of anybody getting close to you or touching you."

With a deep sigh, Hogan walked over to the desk to get away from the closeness. He had to keep it together. "You're wrong, Newkirk. You don't know what you're talking about." He sat down in the chair, his back to the Englander. He looked at his hands.

Newkirk sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be easy to begin with. "Colonel…" he sat on the bunk. "Colonel, this is ole Newkirk you're talkin' to. You can tell yourself nothing's wrong, but I know different. Sir, if it'll put your mind more at ease, whatever you tell me I promise you will not leave this room." He leaned forward with arms resting on this thighs, hands clasped between his knees. He watched and waited for Hogan to respond. _C'mon, Gov'nor, talk to me. I know something's bothering you and is making you afraid. _"Just take it slow, Gov'nor."

Hogan rubbed his face with his hands before clasping them just under his lower jaw. He needed to talk to somebody; wanted to talk to somebody, but he didn't know how or where to begin. "I don't know if I can. I want to but I just don't think…" he didn't finish.

Newkirk gently grabbed Hogan's wrists and pulled his hands away from his face, and despite the colonel's tensing up, didn't release his hold. "Take all the time you need, sir." He saw Hogan avoid his eyes. "Look at me, sir. Please," he said patiently. After a few minutes, Hogan lifted his head and looked into the Englander's compassionate green eyes. "You've been through a horrific ordeal nobody should have to go through. It's gonna take time to get over it. You've already made tremendous strides towards recovery, sir. But you don't have to bury what you're feeling just for us or anybody else. Now, try and tell me what's troubling you."

Hogan sighed and shook his head. "I…during roll call, when Klink came close to me, I didn't see Klink. I saw Henrik. Every time a man comes too close to me, I see Henrik's face. I hear his voice, taunting me, threatening me. Promising more abuse when he gets hold of me next time. I can't stop seeing his face and hearing his voice."

Newkirk didn't respond for a long moment. His heart broke seeing Hogan in so much pain and distress. Frankly, he didn't know how the man was able to hold it together as much as he was. He chose his words carefully. "Colonel, I know you don't like to do it, but we're here for you to lean on until you're better. You don't need to go through this alone. We're here for you and we aren't going anywhere. I say the hell with everything else for now. Kinch can handle things as Acting Senior POW."

"I can't do that, Newkirk. The men in this camp depend on me and I have to be there for them. It's my job. I can't ask any of you to do what I should be doing."

"But Gov'nor…"

"No, Newkirk. If I can't do my job than I shouldn't be in command at all. I'm no good to anybody if I can't do my job. I have to pull myself together for the sake of the men in this camp. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, sir, I can. But all I'm sayin' is that you don't have to neglect yourself to do your job. Your first obligation right now is to yourself, sir. You're always putting the men in front of yourself all the time. Well, this time, sir, you gotta put yourself before anybody else. The men will be looked after for you. Right now, you have to look after Colonel Hogan. The rest will come in time."

Hogan slowly got to his feet and walked a short distance away from the bed. Wrapping his arms around himself, he leaned against one of the posts supporting the upper bunk. "Newkirk, I've never told this to another soul since I was attacked in the woods."

The Englander turned towards Hogan. "What's that, sir?"

Hogan swallowed the lump in his throat and his lower lip trembled slightly. His eyes became moist. "I'm scared. I've never been so scared in my entire life. I can't stop being afraid. I'm even afraid if I leave this camp I'm going to run into Henrik somewhere and he'll…" Hogan paused a moment before continuing. "In fact, I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop being scared."

"That's normal, sir. It's okay to be scared. You're entitled to be after what you went through in the woods, and again here. But it'll pass in time. You just have to give yourself time and as I said before, forget everything else right now and concentrate on you. You're all that matters right now, sir. Kinch is Acting Senior POW for now and he can take care of things. And me, Louie and Andrew are here as well to help. You'll be all right, Gov'nor."

Hogan found himself smirking. "Right now I don't feel very much like a Gov'nor. I feel like dirt."

Newkirk's eyes darkened. "Colonel, don't you **ever** let me hear you refer to yourself like that again. You're **not** dirt. To me you're still the Gov'nor and always will be. So you best be watching how you speak 'bout yourself."

For the first time since Newkirk entered his room, Hogan allowed a small smile to appear. "Yes, dad," he replied with a lopsided grin.

Getting to his feet and sticking his hands again in his pants pockets, Newkirk approached Hogan and stood in front of him. "You'll be okay, sir. You just have to keep tellin' yourself that. And as I said, everything you've told me will stay right here. I won't tell Kinch, LeBeau or Andrew unless you say so. I give you me word." He smiled faintly and started towards the door. As he reached for the doorknob, Hogan called out to him. The Englander turned and looked back. "Yes, sir?"

"Newkirk, thanks. I mean it."

Newkirk smiled. "You're welcome. Now, try and get some rest. We'll be outside if you need anything."


	21. Chapter 21

****This chapter has a bit of explicit language in the first paragraph only.****

**Chapter 21**

After Newkirk had left his room, Hogan locked his door again and returned to the window, staring out through the frosted panes of glass, arms wrapped around himself and leaning against the wall. He replayed what he and Newkirk had discussed in his head over and over. _Maybe I can beat this thing and return to some semblance of normalcy, _he thought for a moment_. _He suddenly smirked sarcastically as his lower lip trembled again. _Who are you kidding, Rob? _He wiped his eyes of the tears which were threatening. _What would they think of you if you had revealed the one thing to Newkirk that even he didn't know? What would Newkirk think of you? What about Carter and LeBeau? They'd think you were not only disgusting but that you were weak. _He thought about the revelation Kinch had made to him a few days ago and knew Kinch had suspected which was why he revealed what had happened to him as a kid. But he would be the exception. Yet, Hogan could almost hear the whispers and see the finger-pointing of others. He looked down for a moment and let out a deep sigh. _Yeah, there goes Hogan. Did you know one of those guards jerked him off when they raped him in the woods? And almost made it happen again in his own quarters when they showed up. Man, what a weakling._

No. He couldn't tell anybody…ever. If the knowledge of him responding ever got out he **would** become the laughing stock of the entire camp. Hell, even Klink would probably have a good laugh at his expense. Except for Kinch, all his men would lose respect for him. Hell, he'd already lost respect for himself the moment he responded in the woods, and almost did in his own quarters. And probably would have if Carter hadn't walked in when he did. Hogan already knew he was on his way to losing control again when the young sergeant interrupted things. The rape already humiliated him, and knowing he reacted during the assault just made it worse. He knew he would be just as mortified if the entire camp were to find out. Hogan wiped his face with both hands._ Nobody can ever know I lost control of my own body in the woods and was about to here in my own quarters. Nobody._

Turning away from the window, Hogan walked slowly to his double bunk and raised a wooden wall panel beside the lower bunk. Reaching inside he removed a pistol the men didn't know he had. Checking it, he noticed it was fully loaded. He stood with the gun in his hands and just looked at it. It would be so easy just to end things right now; and for a split second he thought about ending it to spare himself the shame, pain, humiliation and embarrassment. Then, letting out a deep breath, he put the gun back and slid the panel back down. Who was he kidding? He wouldn't kill himself; not over this anyway. He sat down at his desk thinking about his options. He could ask Klink to transfer him to another camp where nobody knew him. Or, he could just resign his command and go back to London if he believed the men lost all respect for him. He then made a promise to himself that if the information got out somehow, he would spare himself the shame, pain, humiliation, and embarrassment and either ask for a transfer out of Stalag 13 or leave and return to London.

* * *

The others were seated at the table drinking coffee when they noticed Newkirk emerge from Hogan's quarters. However, they noticed the grim expression on his face as he gazed back at the closed door and his eyes lingered there for several seconds. Then, with a shake of his head, he approached the table and after pouring himself a cup of coffee, sat down. He took a long drink before he noticed the others eying him. He looked around.

"What're you all starin' at me for? Did I suddenly grow another head or somethin'?"

"Of course not," Carter said, puzzled with narrowed eyes. "Nobody can grow a second head, silly. What in the world made you say a dumb thing like…"

"Carter, shut up," Newkirk replied with a roll of his eyes. "Now if you chaps would stop, just tell me what all of you are starin' at me for?"

"C'mon, mon ami," LeBeau said in anticipation. "What is wrong with the Colonel? Did he tell you?"

Newkirk removed a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took one and stuck it in his mouth before returning the pack to his pocket. Striking a match and lighting it, he dropped the extinguished match onto the floor and took a drag. "Sorry, LeBeau. But I promised the Colonel I wouldn't repeat what he told me without his permission. So don't any of you ask again." He took another drag while choosing his next words. "But there is one thing I can say." He glanced over his shoulder again at the closed door. "He's still holding something back. Something he's either too afraid or too embarrassed to let anybody know." He turned back and took another drink of coffee.

Nobody noticed Kinch was also staring at Hogan's closed door and scratching his chin at the same time. _I wonder if he's still feeling the shame. Or is he trying to forget he did and act as if he didn't?_

* * *

Henrik walked into SS headquarters smiling, and approached the information desk. He felt a bit excited today. Today was the day he decided that he and Hans, after they were off-duty, would go directly to Stalag 13 and remove Colonel Hogan from his nice safe POW camp. He would dress up as Major Jaeger again and Hans would come along as Corporal Steger and he would inform Colonel Klink they were 'arresting' Hogan on suspicion of sabotage. The Kommandant wouldn't be able to stop them and neither could anyone else. And if Sergeant Kinchloe or anybody else got in the way they would either be arrested as well and later disposed of or shot right there. Depended on what mood Henrik was in. He also couldn't wait to speak with Hans and find out what Fritz had shown him last night and how Hogan got in and out of camp without being caught. The young sergeant behind the desk glanced up when he saw Henrik approach.

"Can I help you with something, Sergeant Drapper?"

"Yes, has Corporal Reinard reported for duty?"

The young sergeant looked at the sign-in book. "No, sir. In fact, I haven't seen or heard from him since I came on duty."

Henrik's eyes narrowed. To him, that was awfully strange. Hans was always the first one to report for duty no matter what. Suddenly something felt terribly wrong to the head sergeant.

"Danke, sergeant," he said with narrowed eyes as he signed the log, then started walking away. He suddenly stopped, turned, and walked back to the information desk. "Can I use your phone, sergeant?" Seeing the young man nod, Henrik picked up the receiver. He waited until he got the operator. "Fraulein, could you connect me with the hospital in Hammelburg? Ja, I will wait. Danke." Something wasn't sitting right with Henrik. Fritz contacted them last night asking for him and Hans to meet him just outside the woods near Stalag 13 and the next day Hans isn't heard from or seen. And while Henrik could understand Fritz spending most his time with his injured brother, Baer, he would have thought they would have heard something from the young sergeant. Also, having just been reunited with his brother after all this time, why would Fritz leave his side to look for the American? He certainly wouldn't have. Finally he heard someone on the other end. "Ja, I am inquiring as to the condition of SS Colonel Baer Weidman? He was brought in a few days ago. Danke. I will wait while you check."

He didn't have too long to wait for an answer. "You have nobody by that name as a patient. Danke, fraulein. Auf wiedersehen. Heil Hitler." Hanging up the phone Henrik pursed his lips as a feeling of realization finally came over him as did rage.

There was no longer any doubt in his mind there was a very good possibility that Fritz and Hans were both dead. And that one person was, in his mind, responsible for those deaths; Colonel Robert Hogan. He began doing a slow burn. _The time for playing games with you is over, Colonel. I will see your dead and bleeding body on the ground even if I have to mutilate you and let you bleed to death, or shoot you through the fence of your precious little Stalag from a distance. Whichever way I choose, your time on this earth is limited. So enjoy what little time you have left._

* * *

Kinch knocked on Hogan's door only to hear Hogan's voice telling him to leave him alone. He turned the doorknob but the door wouldn't open, and suspected Hogan had locked it. He knocked again. "C'mon, Colonel. Unlock the door, it's Kinch." He heard the sound of a door being unlocked and then retreating footsteps. Twisting the doorknob again, Kinch opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him. He found his commander standing by the window staring out. Hogan turned his head slightly and gazed at his second-in-command.

"You want to see me about something, Kinch?" he asked quietly.

Kinch shrugged his shoulders. "I just wanted to see if you needed anything, Colonel?" he asked.

"I'm fine," said Hogan in a small voice.

"Begging the Colonel's pardon. You don't seem fine, sir."

"You trying to replace Wilson now, Kinch? You aren't satisfied with your current duties?"

Kinch allowed a small smile to appear. At any other time he would have found Hogan's remark funny. But he noticed something different this time. Different, but yet familiar only because he'd experienced it himself. And though hesitant, Kinch decided he somehow had to get through to the colonel but be careful how he went about it.

"Colonel, I think I know what's got you so down that you couldn't even tell Newkirk." He saw Hogan suddenly raise his head and look at him; panic in his eyes. "Don't worry, sir. He didn't violate your confidence in anyway." He noticed the colonel seemed to relax hearing those words.

"So, you think you know what's wrong, Kinch?" Hogan said with a smirk as he got up. He looked at his friend. "Why don't you tell me then?" he said sarcastically.

"All right, I will." The radioman took a few tentative steps forward until he was standing at the foot of the bunk. "You still can't get past you reacting during the rape."

Hogan looked at Kinch with raised eyebrows. "What reaction? I have no idea what you're talking about." He made his way over to the window and with folded arms again looked through the frosted window panes at the near-empty compound.

Kinch stared at the colonel. "Sir, I know what it is you're trying to do, and I can tell you from experience it doesn't work."

Hogan looked over his shoulder, puzzled. "That what doesn't work?"

"Trying to pretend you didn't respond when you were raped; or that you almost did again when you were assaulted in your own quarters."

Hogan chuckled. "So, now you're a psychic, Kinch? You must really be bored."

Kinch let out a deep breath. "No psychic, sir. Just experience. Pretending your body didn't respond just doesn't work. You're just denying anything happened and you remained in control. I'm telling you right now it doesn't work."

Hogan's jaw tightened as he went back to looking out the window. "Are you calling me a liar, Sergeant?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Glad to hear it. I appreciate your concern, but I was in control both times, so I suggest you stick to being my second-in-command and stop playing doctor." Letting out a deep breath, Hogan turned away from the window and started walking past Kinch who suddenly grabbed the colonel gently by both arms and turned him around so they faced each other. He could feel the colonel flinch at being grabbed and he regretted having to do it, but he had to get through to him somehow. He also saw the terror in his eyes.

"Colonel, stop it!" he yelled and shook him gently. "Stop trying to pretend you didn't react! You and I both know you did because I did when it happened to me. I was only thirteen and I did! I couldn't stop it from happening and you couldn't either."

"No!" Hogan stated emphatically pulling away from his friend. "I…you're wrong!" His face suddenly softened a bit. "Besides, you were a child when it happened to you. I'm an adult. I should have been able to maintain control. It's part of my job description."

"Normally you are in control, Colonel, always. But not with this. Sir, you're never gonna be able to get past it by denying it happened. I'm saying you couldn't stop it no matter what you tried to do. It's an involuntary reaction you can't control. There are just some things a person can't control. By denying it you're just burying it and not dealing with it. And it's only gonna fester until it consumes you. I know what I'm talking about."

Hogan sighed wearily. "Why can't I get past this? Why, Kinch? Can you explain to me why? Why do I feel so…so…"

Kinch rested his hands on the colonel's shoulders and smiled. "Humiliated? Ashamed? Like your own body betrayed you?"

The colonel smiled slightly. Kinch understood so well. The radioman could see the shame and humiliation in the colonel's eyes just as he had seen it in his own eyes at thirteen when he looked in the bathroom mirror the day after. "Colonel, I wish I could roll back the clock so this never happened to you at all, but I can't. All I can do is help you deal with the aftermath anyway I can. But you have to stop beating yourself up. I'll always be here for you. But I'm telling you the truth, sir. The sooner you accept that you lost control during the rape, you can start to work through it. I thought by denying my body responded meant the sexual assault by my uncle didn't really happen. That's what you're doing, sir. By denying you lost control is your way of denying the rape happened as did the sexual assault in your quarters. And I can honestly tell you, sir, it doesn't work."

Hogan suddenly felt his knees would give out, so he walked over to the lower bunk and froze suddenly as he stared at it. Swallowing hard, he abruptly turned and walked back to his desk and sat down. He ran a hand over his face, his eyes finally meeting those of Kinch who was now kneeling in front of him, patiently waiting and watching him. "I don't know if I can do it, Kinch. I just don't know if I have the strength to do it."

Kinch smiled. "That's why you have me to lean on, sir. I'll be here should you need to talk about it or if you just need to vent. I promise."

Hogan wearily sighed. "I'll try, Kinch. I promise you. I'll do my best not to let you down."

Kinch smiled. "Never mind about not letting me down, sir. Just heal yourself. That's the only thing you can do for me." The radioman hesitated before he continued. "Colonel, there is one other thing that might help you."

"What's that?"

"We need to get rid of Henrik and for good. I thought…that is we thought you might want to take care of him yourself. We believe by doing that you can eliminate your fear he'll come after you again."

"What are you saying exactly?"

"What I'm saying, Colonel, is that we need to eliminate Henrik to help you get over your fear he'll come after you again. He's the only one left of the four guards who raped you. Get rid of him, you get rid of your fear."

Hogan's eyes narrowed as Kinch's implications were clear and understood. "You're talking about murder. You know how I feel about cold-blooded murder. We're not like the Nazis."

"No, sir, we're not. And I'm not suggesting cold-blooded murder. Hell, we can have the bastard swim to England for all I care. But we have to get rid of him, Colonel, if you're ever going to begin to feel safe again in this camp. I'm talking about you taking back your life. I'm talking about getting rid of your fear. If you can't bring yourself to do it, we'll handle it for you."

As Hogan was about to answer there was a knock on his door. Getting to his feet, Kinch walked over to the door and, opening it, looked to see who it was. He saw Baker standing outside. "It's Baker, sir," he told Hogan looking over his shoulder.

"What is it, Sergeant?" Hogan asked wearily looking past this radioman. He really didn't want somebody else in his quarters right now. He just wanted everybody gone so he could be alone; except for Kinch. Kinch understood what he was feeling.

"Message from London, sir. They have a mission for us," Baker said addressing Hogan. He handed Kinch the slip of paper. Kinch read it before looking at Baker. "Okay, Richard. Tell London message received and acknowledged and we'll take care of it."

"Yes, sir," Baker said. He turned and walked away. Kinch closed the door again and walked back to the desk. Sitting on the bed, he gave the message to the colonel who read it.

"They have to be kidding," Hogan exclaimed while reading the message. He fought hard to keep his hands from trembling. He looked up at Kinch. "Do you know where this location is, Kinch?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Kinch's eyes narrowed and a look of concern appeared upon seeing Hogan's reaction. "I didn't pay attention, Colonel," he said reaching for and taking the paper from Hogan's trembling fingers. "Where is it?"

Hogan, still stunned, stared blankly into space and looked at nothing. He swallowed hard. "The coordinates are the exact location where Henrik and the others…" Closing his eyes shut, Hogan pinched the bridge of his nose unable to continue.

Kinch re-read the message. Understanding finally, he swallowed the imaginary lump and then looked over at the colonel. The coordinates would take them exactly where the colonel had been raped.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Kinch re-read the message from London before folding the paper and slipping it into his pocket. He was more concerned about his commander right now. Every spoken word, every action, in fact, everything seemed to remind Kinch of something he was sure the colonel would much rather forget. But even Kinch had to admit to himself that the colonel was trying hard to not have a complete meltdown over what happened. Hell, Kinch knew it couldn't be easy for Hogan to constantly be reminded of the rape, but he was fighting with everything he had in him. And that was what Kinch admired most about his commanding officer; his ability not to let anything keep him down for long. Even something as horrific as being raped and then sexually assaulted. He folded his arms.

"So, what do you want us to do, Colonel?" he asked looking at Hogan.

Hogan looked up and let out a deep breath. "About the mission. I'm not sure yet."

"No, not about what we're going to do. I meant, we can handle this assignment ourselves. There's no need for you to go back to where you were…" he paused. "…I mean, to where it…"

Hogan allowed a smirk to appear. "I know what you meant, Kinch. To where it happened." He let out a deep breath. "Well, if I'm going to try to take my life back, then what better place to start than by returning to where my life was turned upside down to begin with." He smiled faintly as he slowly got to his feet and put a hand on Kinch's shoulder. "Kinch, get the guys and have them come in here. Tell them we have a mission and I need to speak with all of them. You included."

"Yes, sir," Kinch said as he started towards the door. He stopped and looked back when Hogan called out to him. "Yes, Colonel?"

Hogan walked slowly up to his friend. "Kinch, I just want to say thank you again. For everything. I don't know how I would get through any of this if you hadn't…"

Kinch held up a hand stopping him. "You're welcome, sir." That said, he opened the door and walked out with Hogan closing the door behind him. He allowed a small smile to appear.

* * *

Henrik was steaming all day. In fact, he couldn't wait for the day to be over. Knowing that Hogan and that negro sergeant of his had probably killed both Hans and Fritz, he wasn't going to wait for Hogan to come after him. During the course of the day he had thought about nothing but Colonel Hogan and all the things he wanted and intended to do to him once he finally got his hands on him. He had already planned once he got Hogan in his clutches he would handcuff him and then quickly remove him from where he was and take him someplace private. Once there he would torture and abuse him repeatedly and mercilessly in every way he could think of; and that included tearing him apart physically if necessary. He would get the information he wanted from him and then kill him in the most heinous way he could and enjoy watching him bleed to death. Then, he thought with a smirk, he'd toss Hogan's mutilated and lifeless body near Stalag 13 as a message to the others that he had won and bested the American officer. During his lunch he had secured a place where he could take the American once he had him. Earlier, right after he had discovered Hans and Fritz were dead, he took an hour and left SS headquarters, making contact with a suspected underground operative and set into motion a plan that would lure the colonel out of Stalag 13 for certain tomorrow night and right into his waiting hands without him suspecting anything was amiss. The only thing he wasn't certain about was if Hogan would show up at the place he had chosen for the meeting. For Hogan, once he discovered where the meeting would be might give him pause, while to Henrik, it had sentimental value.

"You will be mine tomorrow night, Colonel Hogan," he muttered under his breath. "You will be all mine and you will pay in every way possible."

* * *

Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau followed Kinch back inside Hogan's quarters. The colonel was seated at his desk, forcing himself to appear relaxed. Only Kinch and Newkirk knew, for different reasons, that Hogan was a bundle of nerves inside. Closing the door, Kinch joined the others already seated on the lower bunk. Everybody's eyes were focused on Hogan.

"Kinch said you wanted to see us, mon Colonel," LeBeau was the first to speak up.

"Yeah, I did, LeBeau. London's given us an assignment." Getting to his feet, Hogan moved in front of his desk and leaned against it, arms wrapped around himself and legs crossed.

"What is it, Colonel?" Carter asked eagerly. "Are we gonna blow up something? Something big? Gee, I sure hope so because it's been so long since we've been able to blow up anything and I really have a lot of…" the rest of his sentence was garbled as Newkirk, removing his cover, stuck it in Carter's mouth.

"Forgive the interruption, Colonel," the Englander remarked. "But sometimes Carter talks when he should listen."

Hogan, despite his tumultuous emotions, had to chuckle.

Carter removed Newkirk's cover from his mouth. "What'd you do that for, Newkirk?" he asked. "I was only askin' Colonel Hogan a question."

Newkirk rolled his eyes as he looked at his friend. "Carter, a bleedin' question is one thing. But you were yammerin' on like somebody was bloody chasing you."

"Alright, pipe down," Hogan ordered. He waited until things quieted down before continuing. Once he again had everybody's attention, he proceeded. "London wants us to pick up information tomorrow night at 2330 hours regarding some German tank movements from an agent, code name Night Owl who's to give the information only to Papa Bear. For the recognition code I'll say 'It's a beautiful moonlit night,' to which Night Owl's reply should be 'Only if there's no clouds.' This will be a three-man job so, Newkirk and Kinch, want to tag along?"

Newkirk and Kinch exchanged looks and then faced Hogan again.

"Only if it really is a beautiful moonlit night, sir," Newkirk said with a straight face.

Hogan couldn't contain himself and laughed along with the others. He knew Newkirk had joked to relieve the tension he suspected his commander was probably feeling. Hogan had to admit it felt good to be able to laugh and relieve some of his tension.

"What about us, Colonel? What do you want me and Carter to do?" asked the Frenchman, looking a bit dismayed at having to possibly be left behind.

Hogan chewed his lower lip. "Sorry, LeBeau. But you and Carter are to remain here. Kinch, Newkirk and I can handle things."

LeBeau looked depressed. "C'mon, mon Colonel. Have a heart. This will be your first time out since the attack. We'd like to come with you for extra protection. Carter and I can be lookouts while Kinch and Newkirk keep an eye on you."

Sighing wearily. "Wait a minute, guys. There's something else you should know right now about this meeting." His face became serious.

"What's that, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk, puzzled.

"The coordinates for the meeting place is where I was assaulted."

Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk all jumped angrily to their feet and began talking at once. Massaging his forehead as a headache was forming, Hogan's eyes shifted to Kinch who immediately jumped to his feet. "Okay, guys, knock it off!" he insisted. "Give the colonel a moment." Seeing the others quiet down immediately once it dawned on them they were jumping on their commander, only then did Kinch look at Hogan. He licked his dry lips. "Colonel, considering where the meeting place is and being it is your first time out since the assault, it might not be a bad idea to have Carter and LeBeau come with us as extra protection. This way you can meet with the agent, and there would be four of us keeping lookout for you."

Hogan looked down at the floor while he mulled over Kinch's suggestion for a few moments. Finally, he looked at the three men standing in front of him. "You're right, Kinch. Okay. Carter, you and LeBeau can come along as extra protection and lookouts." He couldn't argue with Kinch's logic that four lookouts were certainly better than two. Especially since Henrik was still out there. _Henrik! What if he's behind this meeting with Night Owl? What if this is a trap set by him to catch me?_ _I could be walking right into it and taking my men with me._ Hogan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kinch noticed the subtle change in the colonel. "Colonel? You all right?"

Hogan looked up. "What? Yeah, Kinch. I'm fine. Just tired."

Kinch suddenly asked the question that had occurred to Hogan. "Colonel, do you think it's possible this meeting was set up by Henrik as a means of luring you outside this camp?" Hearing this, the others looked at Hogan, their eyes narrowed and deep worry etched on their faces.

_Damn! How did Kinch know?_ Hogan asked himself. _I have to be more careful in letting my feelings show on my face._

"It better not be," Newkirk added. "If I see his ruddy face I'll put a hole right between his beady little eyes before he can open his mouth."

LeBeau let loose a string of French words that the others were certain were obscenities.

"Okay," said Hogan. "Everybody just hang on a moment. We have no proof that Henrik is behind this meeting. For all we know he may not yet know about Hans and Fritz. But just to be safe, perhaps it would be better if I went alone instead. I promise I'll be careful."

"Ain't happenin', Colonel," Newkirk said. "Beggin' the Colonel's pardon, but if we don't go, neither are you and we don't care what London wants."

"Boy, you better believe it," Carter added seriously.

Hogan looked at each of his men. He saw Kinch's face. Words didn't need to be spoken between them. Hogan could tell Kinch was against him going out alone and especially if there was any chance it might be a trap by Henrik. He then saw LeBeau's face.

"LeBeau, you want to add something?" Hogan asked.

The Frenchman's anger was evident. "Mon Colonel, I mean no disrespect, but I cannot and will not let you go alone. If there is no trap than you will have extra lookouts. If it is a trap, you will be protected. We will not let that filthy Bosche near you again. I will see him dead first."

Hogan, deeply affected by their concern and what he figured was their over protectiveness towards him, finally faced his second-in-command. "Kinch, after we're finished here, check with London and the underground . See what they have on an agent named Night Owl. Tell 'em I need an answer right away as the rendezvous is tomorrow night."

"Right away, Colonel," Kinch replied getting to his feet. LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk got to their feet as well. Hogan straightened up. They all exchanged looks that only close friends shared when there was worry and concern.

"I want you guys to be certain of this," Hogan said. "I won't be upset if anybody wants to back out. If it is Henrik who's behind this meeting, he may not be alone. I could be walking right into a trap and taking all of you with me. So, I want you all to be sure of what you're getting yourselves into."

"We're going with you, sir," Newkirk repeated seriously.

"You're not leaving without us, mon Colonel."

"And don't think of sneaking out without us, boy, I mean Colonel," Carter added.

"We're in this together," Kinch said.

Hogan hooked his thumbs in the side pockets of his bomber jacket. "One more thing. If it is Henrik, and he has company, I want you guys to promise me you'll forget about me and run. If I'm going down, I'll die gladly knowing you fellas are safe."

Newkirk and the others all looked at each other. He then slowly stepped forward and started to put a hand on Hogan's shoulder, but stopped at the last minute. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his blue trousers. "Colonel Hogan, we're going to say this one more time. At this meetin' tomorrow night we either all come back to camp together, or we all die out in the woods together. But either way, sir, we're not leavin' you out there alone to face who knows what."

Hogan smiled faintly. "Just wanted you fellas to be certain." He checked his watch. "Okay, I think you guys should get some rest until dinner. LeBeau, what's on the menu anyway? I'm actually starved for once."

The Frenchman beamed at the news that his colonel was hungry. "Just for you, mon Colonel, I will prepare the best meal Klink ever paid for. It is steaks with a Bordelaise Sauce. I managed to lessen the Kommandant's supply of steaks by five."

Newkirk smirked embarrassingly as he wiggled his fingers. "With some help from the ten magic fingers of Peter Newkirk, your friendly neighborhood safe-cracker, thief, and pickpocket, sir." He put a friendly arm around the Frenchman's shoulders.

Hogan rolled his eyes, amused, while Kinch grinned. Then Hogan started ushering the men out of his quarters.

"Okay, guys, we all need some rest. Kinch, let me know when you hear from the underground and London. LeBeau, call me when dinner's ready. I'm gonna lay down for awhile."

"Oui, mon Colonel."

Hogan gently closed the door when the men had all left, but didn't lock it this time. He was about to lay down but found himself staring with cold fear at the lower bunk, and decided he couldn't lay on it. It brought back too many memories of what had occurred on it. Instead, he climbed up onto the upper bunk with a small smile and his hands clasped behind his head; he stared at the ceiling. Then the smile just as suddenly disappeared as he recalled the rendezvous scheduled for the following night. He let out a deep breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

_I have to go back to where it happened. I have to go back there and face my terror, demons and memories. _Hogan closed his eyes as internally he began to regret agreeing to the assignment especially after he found out where the meeting place was. He felt like going out into the common room and asking Kinch to contact London again and inform them he couldn't take the assignment. But then his men would immediately know something was wrong and that he was terrified, which he was. He had even told Newkirk he was. _I wish I didn't have to go. I don't want to go. I am so terrified. What if Kinch is right and Henrik is behind this? What if he's there and I run into him? How will I react to seeing him again? What will I do if he puts his hands on me again and the guys aren't there for protection? What if…what if_….

"C'mon, Hogan," he said softly. "You're letting your imagination run wild. You can do this. You **have** to do this if you're ever gonna get past what was done to you." He turned onto his side and stared into space. _But I don't know if I can do this. If Henrik should be there and the men and I walk right into his trap, he's liable to do to them what he did to me just to make me suffer before he kills me. He might even abuse me in front of them after he fixes it so they can't do anything to stop him in order to torture them and shame me even further knowing I can't stop him either. He might even use them to get to me. _Hogan shut his eyes for a moment as images of his men being sexually abused by Henrik one by one entered his mind._ I can't let him use and abuse them like he did me. I'll __**kill**__ him if he touches any of them! If he even __**attempts**__ to touch any of them I'll kill him!_

It was then images of Henrik entered Hogan's mind. _If Henrik tries to abuse Kinch, Kinch would knock him out cold or beat him into a pulp being a former golden-gloves boxer who, in a fight, is pretty good at handling himself. LeBeau is feisty and a tough little guy who can handle himself in a scuffle. But could he handle himself against Henrik? Somehow I'm not sure. Louie often lets his emotions get the best of him. Newkirk? A cocky, self-assured Englander who in a fight is next to Kinch, one of the best. But against Henrik I'm not sure. If Henrik attempted to do anything to him, Peter would try to rip off his head and beat him to death with it. Trouble with Peter is he's so protective of his friends he'd also let his emotions run away with him. Probably end up getting himself killed. The one problem is Carter. He's the one Henrik is liable to turn on. Andrew is a good, kind-hearted young kid who is an innocent. If Henrik did to Carter what he did to me, Andrew would never recover from it. It would destroy him. I doubt I'd ever be able to help him no matter what I did. No, Carter has to be protected at all costs._

Henrik's face suddenly appeared to Hogan with his smug, arrogant look; and that demonic laughter. He laughed at Hogan taunting him, threatening him.

"_You and your men will belong to me, Colonel Hogan. Soon. Very, very soon. I will make them suffer by watching me assault you repeatedly in every way I can think of using whatever I can think of to use after I make sure they can't help you. Then, I will have my way with each of them while you are forced to watch knowing you can't help them at all. Neither you nor them will be able to reach each other. All any of you will be able to do is watch me at work. No, Colonel Hogan; once I'm done, they will watch me mutilate you both sexually and physically knowing they can't stop it or me. They will watch you bleed to death right before their eyes. Think I'll start with that nice young man, Sergeant Carter."_

"NOOOOO!" Hogan cried out bolting upright in the bed, breathing heavily, sweat running down his face. His breathing was fast. He massaged his forehead with shaky hands as his door flew open and his men hurried inside.

"What's wrong, Colonel?" Kinch asked, fearful. "What happened?"

It took a good long several minutes for Hogan to realize it had all been a dream. He and his men were in their barracks, safe for the moment from the atrocities of the outside world. When he had composed himself, he looked down at his men, waiting just inside his room. "I'm okay. I must have fallen asleep. Relax, it was only a nightmare."

"Care to talk about it, Gov'nor?"

"No," Hogan replied without thinking, then quickly corrected himself. "I mean, there's nothing to tell. I don't even remember what it was about."

"If you say so, sir," replied a doubtful LeBeau.

Hogan hopped down from the upper bunk and let out a deep breath. "Look, fellas, I assure you everything's fine. Just a bad dream. Kinch, did you get that information from the underground and London on Night Owl I asked you to get for me?"

"Got it a short while ago, Colonel," Kinch said.

"Good." A tantalizing aroma permeated Hogan's small room causing his mouth to water and his stomach to growl. "LeBeau, dinner smells delicious. When will it be ready? You're killing me here with the aroma."

"Merci, mon Colonel. It is. I was about to come and tell you when we heard you cry out."

Hogan looked at each of his men separately and smiled. "Then I say let's have dinner, gentlemen, and go over Kinch's information at the same time." He walked past them leading the way into the common room, hoping secretly that nobody took a close look and saw just how rattled he really was as he knew if they saw it, they would find some way to keep him, or stop him completely from going to the meeting tomorrow night.


	23. Chapter 23

****WARNING: There is a graphic scene in this chapter.****

**Chapter 23**

Dinner had been delicious according to everyone. Hogan had to admit he hadn't realized exactly how hungry he had really been as he hadn't eaten much since he'd been assaulted several days ago, and that it was the first good meal he had eaten everything of. Now, they were all seated around drinking coffee before Hogan spoke about their upcoming mission.

"Kinch, what info did you get from the underground about Night Owl?" Hogan asked taking a drink of coffee.

Removing a notebook from his inside jacket pocket and opening it, Kinch looked at the first page. "There wasn't much on him, Colonel," he began. "First off, he's a fairly new operative and hasn't been with the Hammelburg underground that long. In fact, he's worked with them only a couple of times in the last year. He has a sensitive position with the Wehrmacht which explains why he only works with the underground on occasion, or has valuable information he feels the Allies should have. Also, they said the information he's given them in the past has been fairly reliable. They give him high praise otherwise." Kinch noticed the change in Hogan's eyes at the mentioning of the Wehrmacht.

"What about London?" asked Carter.

Kinch flipped a page in his notebook. "London doesn't have much more to add except that Night Owl prefers that his identity remain a secret because of his position in the Wehrmacht. They did say, however, that he is to be completely trusted." He flipped the notebook closed and put it back in his pocket. "That's about it, Colonel."

"Boy," said Carter, amazed. "That sure isn't much."

"You're so right, Carter," Hogan agreed. He scratched his chin and appeared deep in thought.

"Colonel?" asked LeBeau, lowering his head and slightly tilting it upward enabling him to look into Hogan's face. "Is something wrong?"

The colonel's eyes shifted to the little Frenchman. "No, LeBeau," he replied with a sigh and took a drink of coffee. "I was just thinking is all."

"About what, sir?" asked LeBeau.

"About the lack of information on Night Owl. It almost sounds like he's someone new."

The men all exchanged looks. The same thought had occurred to them.

"Maybe because he is, sir," added Newkirk. "And that could indicate Night Owl could be Henrik."

"Possibly," Hogan replied. "But yet, if he's a high level officer in the Wehrmacht, that could also explain why there isn't much on him. It could be for his own protection. It wouldn't be the first time."

"That's true," Kinch replied quietly. "But how do we find out for certain?"

"We might not be able to," Hogan said. "We don't have a contact in the Wehrmacht." He shrugged. "However, London must know who he is and they did say he can be trusted after all."

"Beggin' the Colonel's pardon," Newkirk chimed in. "But as long as that bastard Henrik is on the loose, I don't trust anybody no matter what London says. Colonel, I still think it's better if we postpone this mission and get rid of Henrik first. Then we can reschedule the assignment."

"On what grounds?" Hogan asked a bit rougher than he wanted. Then his face and voice softened. "We can't do that, Newkirk," he explained. "The assignment's been given and accepted. We can't go back and chicken out now." His eyes suddenly shifted to each of his men. "Something just occurred to me. What did London have to say when you told them what happened to me?"

Each of his men lowered their eyes; none of them able to meet his. Finally, Kinch pursed his lips and faced his commander. "We didn't tell 'em, Colonel. We didn't think it appropriate; not without your permission anyway."

Hogan smiled. "I appreciate that, Kinch. And I agree the fewer people who know the better. It's hard enough knowing you guys and Wilson know. But I don't want you fellas to start keeping secrets from London just to protect me. Kinch, first chance you have, contact London and inform them of my situation. Make sure you tell them I'm staying here." He took another drink of coffee, and then stared into his cup at the dark liquid swirling around inside. He really didn't want London to know because he had an inkling as to what their response would be.

"Don't fret none, Gov'nor," Newkirk said seeing the look on Hogan's face. "I don't agree 'bout tellin' London, but it's your call. It's just that you know what they'll probably say. They'll click their tongues and say 'Oh so sorry, old chap. You have our deepest sympathy but we're afraid you must remain where your are unless you think you can't do the job anymore.' Or some such rubbish like that. That said, nobody else need know anything. Not even the rest of the blokes in the barracks. Far as they know you were assaulted by a German patrol but not the particulars of the assault itself, sir."

"Thanks fellas," Hogan replied, his eyes still downcast. Then, lifting his head, he took another drink of coffee while staring into space. Right now his mind was a jumble of confused feelings and emotions. While he was grateful his men had kept what happened to him a secret from London up until now, he was also feeling guilty that his men had chosen to put themselves in the direct line of fire with the brass to protect him at all cost. The guilt was so overwhelming right now he almost couldn't stand it. It was his fault they were in this position, just like it was his fault he couldn't protect himself from the SS guards who attacked him. And ordering Kinch to contact London and explain what happened didn't relieve the guilt he still felt. _Face it, Hogan. It's your fault all the way around. You're responsible for your men feeling they have to lie to protect you, just like you're responsible for those animals attacking you both times. You're responsible for all of it. _He sighed wearily, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt the beginning of a headache._ It's all my fault. All of it._ He shook his head and let out a sigh. Why couldn't he rid himself of these feelings of fear, shame, blaming himself, that he couldn't protect himself anymore? Why? So absorbed with these thoughts was Hogan that he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand touch his arm. Panicked, he looked up and saw Kinch looking at him with concern, his hand resting on the colonel's arm.

"Colonel, are you all right?" the radioman asked quietly. He briefly saw the panic in Hogan's eyes and could feel the colonel's body tense. "You looked like you were having another of your headaches. Do you need Wilson?"

Swallowing hard, Hogan fought hard to control his feelings and gather himself. "I'll be okay, Kinch," he replied in a strained voice. "I just need to lie down for awhile. I would appreciate not being disturbed unless it's something important." He slowly got to his feet and abruptly turned and walked towards his quarters and opening the door, went inside and closed the door behind him. His men, having watched their commander's receding back, continued staring at the closed door for a long minute before finally exchanging looks.

"What just happened?" asked Newkirk, puzzled. "Did I miss something?"

"Oui. That is what I'd like to know," replied an equally puzzled LeBeau. "One moment the colonel is seemingly fine, and the next minute he's white as a sheet, and seemed like he couldn't wait to get away from us."

Kinch scratched his chin. "Neither of you missed anything," he said softly. "If I had to venture a guess, he's scared regarding this meeting tomorrow night. I think he's afraid it could be Henrik setting a trap for him."

"But we offered to have the mission postponed until after we got rid of Henrik," Carter said. "Colonel Hogan refused."

"You don't get it, Andrew," explained Kinch. "Colonel Hogan's trying very hard to act like everything's back to normal so he can function, but until Henrik is out of the way he can't. He's scared Henrik's gonna come after him again, or that he's gonna catch him outside the wire and we won't be able to help him. It's tearing him apart inside. I don't know how much more he can handle."

"I agree, mon ami," LeBeau said. "The Colonel is barely hanging on as it is."

"Blimey," Newkirk said shaking his head sadly. "The Gov'nor can't seem to catch a break no matter how hard he tries. I just hope that bloody bastard Henrik isn't who the colonel's meetin' tomorrow night. If it is, I don't even want to think what that'll do to 'im."

Kinch noticed Carter's confused expression. "Something bothering you, Andrew?" he asked.

"Yes. No. I mean, not really. It's nothing."

"Which is it, Carter?" Newkirk said rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Yes, no, or not really?"

Ignoring the Englander's sarcastic remarks, Kinch focused his full attention on the young sergeant. "What is it, Andrew?"

"Well, I was just wondering what London will do for Colonel Hogan once they know what happened to 'im?"

"Do you mean for 'im or to 'im, Andrew," Newkirk said as he lit a cigarette and took a drag.

"Huh?" asked Carter looking at his close friend, confused by Newkirk's remarks.

"Ignore him, Andrew," Kinch said. "Talk to me. What do you want to know?"

"Well, would it be so bad if London finds out what happened?" Carter asked Kinch. "I mean, maybe they can help him in a way we can't."

LeBeau and Newkirk began arguing with Carter at the same time before Kinch held up a hand silencing them. "Okay you guys, hold it. Hold it. Now, Carter has a right to ask the question he asked." He turned his attention back to Carter. "Why'd you ask that?"

Carter shrugged his shoulders; he wasn't really sure why he asked. "I guess I was curious as to what London would say if they knew what happened to Colonel Hogan."

"Blimey, Andrew. I'll tell you exactly what they'd tell the Gov'nor." Then, imitating his best 'proper' British voice, Newkirk spoke. "Oh we're so sorry what happened to you, ole chap. But we do hope it won't interfere with the operation." He then rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Carter found himself staring at Newkirk, amused. "Oh come on, Newkirk," he said. "You can't be serious. They wouldn't treat the colonel that way."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Newkirk, Carter," said Kinch. "Sure they'd sympathize with the colonel about what happened to him and offer their condolences, but in the end, they would expect him to continue the operation. And if he couldn't, they'd probably order him home and send somebody else to take his place."

Carter took a few minutes to mull over what the Englander and Kinch had both said. "You really think so?" he asked Kinch quietly.

* * *

Hogan, unable to sleep, had climbed down from his top bunk and was sitting at his desk in the darkness with only a sliver of moonlight from outside peeking through the slit between the shutters closed over the window. He had given up trying to sleep after awhile. Every time he closed his eyes, the leering face of Henrik appeared to him; laughing at him, taunting him, threatening him, threatening his men. Hogan was so exhausted right now he didn't think he could outrun Schultz from the barracks to the Kommandantur. _Damn you if you think I'm going to let you have my men, _he told himself with his face buried in his hands. _I won't let you do to them what you've done to me. I won't let you ruin their lives like you've ruined mine. _

Running his hands down his face, Hogan clasped them together with the fingertips resting against his lips. He then folded his arms atop his desk and rested his chin on his arms. _How could you do this to me? Why would you do this to me? You had no right! No right to do something so horrendous and sick to someone._

"_I did it because I wanted to do it, Hogan," a voice said. Hogan slowly sat up at his desk and just as slowly turned around in his chair to come face-to-face with Henrik. Hogan's eyes widened with fear and he swallowed hard, unable to move; he was that frozen with terror. _

_Henrik walked around the colonel's desk with the colonel's eyes following him, until he stood in front of the colonel. He cupped Hogan's chin in his hand and raised it so that the two men could look each other in the eyes. He felt the colonel flinch at his touch, and smirked at Hogan's terror and inability to move. "You are mine," he sneered. "You are mine in every way, Colonel." _

_Hogan, finding the courage, brushed Henrik's hands away from his face and started to get to his feet when Henrik suddenly grabbed Hogan roughly around the throat and brought him to his feet. He squeezed so hard Hogan was finding it difficult to breathe, and he tried prying Henrik's hand from around his throat. As he did so, Henrik laughed demonically as he forced Hogan onto his back on top of his desk and held him there. He continued holding him by the throat with one hand while, with his other, unzipped Hogan's brown trousers and slid his hand inside grasping the colonel's penis and began to stroke it. "You belong to me, Colonel," he repeated. "This part of you belongs to me as well. All of you belongs to me." He smirked at seeing Hogan wince in pain when he purposely squeezed the appendage too tightly before resuming the stroking. "You cannot escape from me, Colonel. I own you; every inch of you, and the sooner you realize that and submit with no struggle, the better things will be for you. I'll be waiting for you at the rendezvous place tonight." Henrik pressed his body against Hogan's legs pinning them against the legs of the desk and leaned over the American. "Things quite enjoyable for you, Colonel? I suggest you just relax and let yourself enjoy my administrations. I'm sure your men will enjoy them as well."_

"Nooo!" Hogan cried out as he bolted upright in his chair frantically looked around. He saw Kinch and Carter on his right, with Newkirk and LeBeau on his left. They were all frightened. Hogan looked up at them with fear still in his eyes and he rapidly fought to hide his feelings. "What are you all doing in here?" he asked in more of a strained voice than he wanted. "What's wrong?"

"We heard you cry out, Colonel," Kinch said gently with a hand on the colonel's shoulder. He felt the tension and saw the colonel flinch.

"I did?" Hogan pinched the bridge of his nose and momentarily closed his eyes. "I must've dozed off and had a bad dream." He looked up again hoping his men would leave it alone.

"Bad dream, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau, concerned. "I think it was more of a cauchemar. You know, a nightmare. Was it about that bastard Henrik?"

Hogan closed his eyes again and ran his hands down his face. He let out a deep breath. "I don't even remember what it was about, LeBeau," he said quietly. "So, it couldn't have been too much of a nightmare if I can't remember what it's about, now can it?" He allowed a small smile to appear. He looked at his watch. "Hey, we've only got three hours before morning roll call. You guys better get back to bed and get some rest. We've got a busy night tonight."

"What about you, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk.

Hogan looked at him. _Let it go, Newkirk, please. I don't want to discuss it._ "What about me?" he asked.

"Well, beggin' the Colonel's pardon, you look like hell right now. So if you still plan on going out tonight on the mission, you'd best get some sleep as well, sir."

Hogan sighed and ran a hand over his black hair. "I will, after roll call and breakfast. I promise. All of you, go get some rest and consider it an order." He gave his best lopsided grin.

Bidding the colonel goodnight, the men left the small room, with Carter pulling the door closed behind him. They had only taken a few steps away from the door before they paused and looked at each other.

"The Colonel was not telling us the truth," LeBeau said. "You could see the fear in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it."

"I agree," Kinch added reluctantly. "I also agree when you said he was having a nightmare. And I believe that nightmare's name is Henrik. I was hoping that the colonel's nightmares would go away once he had some time after finding out what happened to him and that three of the four who attacked him are dead. But it's apparent Henrik is still torturing him and it seems to be getting worse."

Newkirk lowered his head and shook it. "I sure hope that contact the colonel's suppose to meet tonight isn't Henrik. In his current state I don't think the Gov'nor could handle seeing him up close again. It'll destroy 'im it will."

"Now wait just a doggone minute," Carter interjected with narrowed eyes. "You all talk like Colonel Hogan's about to have a breakdown or something. I mean, sure he's having a rough time of things right now, but he'll bounce back. He always does; and he will this time as well. You'll see."

Kinch and LeBeau both smiled at the young sergeant's optimism regarding their commander and they wanted so desperately wanted to share in that optimism. But knowing that Henrik was out there possibly stalking Hogan kept interfering with that optimism. Newkirk put a hand on Carter's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. He allowed a small smile to appear.

"I hope you're right, Andrew," he said softly. "Because if everything blows up in the Colonel's face at this meeting, I'd hate to even think how we're gonna pick up the pieces of Colonel Hogan's life and put them back together again. I really don't know."

Carter struggled to maintain a faint grin, all the while hiding his fear that Colonel Hogan might not bounce back this time. He just couldn't allow himself to believe Hogan wouldn't nor allow his friends to think any different either. He just couldn't allow that possibility to permeate his thoughts.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

To Hogan the time he had been dreading had finally arrived as he and his team prepared to leave for the rendezvous with Night Owl. When he arrived in the changing room he noticed the men who had been talking among themselves, spotted him in the doorway and stopped to look at him. He sensed they were discussing him.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Nothing, Colonel," Kinch replied a bit too quickly. "We uh, we were just discussing the mission."

"Uh-huh," Hogan remarked as he unzipped his leather jacket. "If you were discussing the mission," Hogan began as he took off his jacket. "Then why did you stop talking the moment you saw me walk in?" He laid his bomber jacket across a bench, never looking at the men and laid his crush cap on top. He waited.

Carter shrugged innocently. "Well, golly Colonel. We didn't want you gettin' all flustered and upset hearing us talk about somebody or something you didn't want to hear about."

Hogan, still not looking at the men, began unbuttoning his shirt. "I don't believe a word of it, Carter," he said letting out a sigh.

"Geez, Colonel, we can't help it if you don't believe us," Carter said. "But it's the truth."

Hogan turned around as he began removing his shirt. He noticed the bruises on his shoulders, though still visible, were fading. He stiffened momentarily. "It's okay, Carter," he said looking at his men. "I don't want you men to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me."

"We're sorry, Gov'nor," Newkirk said. "We meant no harm. Really we didn't."

"I know. I guess I'm just a bit on edge because this is my first time outside the wire since being attacked and now having to go back to where it happened. There's no need to apologize. I'm okay." He forced a smile to his face. "Really." He pulled off his shirt, tossing it on the bench.

While they were changing into their 'blacks', the men kept a sharp eye on their commander who seemed to be keeping his emotions in check and going about his 'business' of getting changed. He was aware that he was under careful scrutiny so he fought hard to keep himself under control. Hogan checked his watch and noticed that it was almost ten-fifteen p.m., and was aware that it would be an hour's hike on foot to reach the rendezvous spot; a bit longer if they ran into patrols. And Hogan couldn't guarantee Night Owl would hang around and wait very long if at all. So, Hogan figured, time was of the essence. He finished applying the grease to his face before turning and looking at his team again and noticed they were ready to move out. Hogan checked his weapon and after making sure it was loaded, stuck the pistol in the back of his waistband.

"Everybody ready?" he asked. After receiving affirmatives, the colonel led the way to the ladder leading up to the emergency exit and grabbed one rung with his hand, resting his foot on the bottom rung. He suddenly paused as a feeling of panic swept over him. _I can't do this, _he told himself._ I just can't go out there. What if Henrik is out there waiting; waiting for me and my men._ He pressed his forehead against one of the rungs and took a deep breath.

"Colonel?" asked Kinch quietly as if sensing his commander's fear. "Everything okay?"

Hogan sighed, but didn't look back. "Yeah, Kinch. Everything's fine." He then proceeded to climb up the rungs with the others following. Reaching the top, Hogan slightly raised the lid of the tree stump and peaked out into the darkness making sure things were clear. Seeing nobody, he opened the lid and climbed out, quickly lowered the lid, and ducked behind some nearby bushes until the searchlight from the guard tower passed by. Once things were safe again, the lid raised and Kinch and Newkirk climbed out and closed the lid behind them, quickly ducking behind some bushes with Kinch hiding behind the tree stump as the searchlight passed by from the opposite direction. When it was again safe, Kinch and Newkirk joined Hogan who knelt close by and waited as Carter and LeBeau climbed out. Seeing his team now looking at him expectantly, Hogan hesitated for a few seconds as every fiber of his being screamed at him to turn around and go back below where it was safe. But he knew he couldn't do that; and if he did, he would never take back his life. He looked over his shoulder at his waiting men. "Let's go," he said quietly as he headed out keeping low.

* * *

Henrik waited impatiently at the rendezvous place for his 'guest' to arrive. Checking his watch, he noticed he still had nearly an hour before the rendezvous. He fought to control his impatience because it wouldn't do for him to lose control at this moment. He was too close to getting what he wanted to let things spiral out of control at this point because he couldn't reign in his emotions. That would never do when Hogan was within his grasp. He smirked as he kept thinking about what he would do to him before he killed him. A sexual assault would be the least of the colonel's problems when he told him of the other things he had planned.

Henrik thought about Hans and Fritz and wished they were here to savor this moment when the quarry was within their grasp. He had to succeed if for nothing more than for them. Hogan had to pay for their deaths. Henrik knew that Hogan didn't act alone in the deaths of Fritz and Hans, but right now just who else didn't really matter at the moment. There was plenty of time for Sergeant Kinchloe and probably that Sergeant Carter to pay for their parts in their deaths. But first and foremost was Robert Hogan. He was the main one right now. His death would show the others that not only was there no escape for them, but that he had bested and outsmarted their commanding officer. He also planned to leave the colonel's mutilated body where it could be easily found near Stalag 13 as a sign. He wanted them to find his remains so they would know there was no escape for them and it was just a matter of time before he came after them as well. He checked his watch again; still forty-five minutes.

_I would give anything for you and Fritz to be here at this precise moment, Hans. I am so close to getting revenge on Colonel Hogan. By all rights, you and Fritz should be sharing in this. But I will see to it that Colonel Hogan pays for your deaths, and pay he will. He will pay in the worst ways I can dream up._

* * *

Hogan crouched down behind some bushes along with his men, each of them alert. The closer they got to the rendezvous location, the more tense and anxious Hogan became. He couldn't shake the feeling of impending disaster. Every bone in his body was crying out to turn and run; to run back to the safety of the tunnels. He momentarily closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as the tension continued to build. The men behind him all exchanged concerned looks. Finally, Newkirk edged his way forward until he was beside Hogan. "Gov'nor?" he whispered in the colonel's ear softly causing Hogan to look at him. "If you're not sure about this, we can go back to camp. We'll just tell London we ran into a patrol or something."

The colonel let out a deep breath knowing exactly what the Englander was trying to do and was grateful. But to turn back now would mean, to Hogan, that Henrik had bested him and he had failed; had failed miserably. And to allow that would prove to Hogan that he was not only a failure, but incapable of protecting anybody including himself. With narrowed eyes, he looked at Newkirk. "No. I need to do this, Newkirk," he said just as softly. "I can't not see it through. I need to see this through." He motioned with his weapon for the others to follow him as he continued on. Hogan struggled to keep his emotions under wraps and himself loose. He had to admit that one was easier than the other. He was so tense right now he didn't know if he'd make it to the meeting much less be able to keep from freezing up before he even met with the underground operative. _What was that?_ Hogan asked himself as he suddenly froze and crouched down behind some shrubbery, motioning with his weapon for the others to do likewise. He then kept his weapon aimed as he waited and listened. He heard the sound again. It sounded like the snapping of a twig after somebody stepped on it. Hogan's entire body froze in terror as he paled. He couldn't make himself move.

"Colonel? You okay?" whispered Kinch. Getting no response from Hogan, Kinch's eyes narrowed as he crept forward. Now beside the colonel, Kinch could see Hogan's face, and noticed that the colonel was terrified. Hogan closed his eyes as he tried to get a grip on himself. "Colonel?" Kinch asked putting a hand on Hogan's shoulder. "Colonel Hogan?"

Shaking Kinch's hand off of him, Hogan held up a hand, palm forward, as if to stop Kinch from touching him again.

"Just give me a minute, Kinch. Don't say anything. Just give me a minute." Hogan stressed. He took a few deep breaths and waited, his hand keeping a tight grip on the pistol in it. He exhaled when he spotted a deer making it's way through the shrubbery. It suddenly stopped as it and Hogan eyed each other monetarily before it turned and bolted away. Hogan bowed his head and shook it.

"Wow! Did you see that?" asked an excited Carter having seen the animal take off. "What a beauty!"

Rolling his eyes, Newkirk looked over his shoulder at the young sergeant. "Carter, keep your bleedin' voice down," he whispered. "You want a Kraut patrol to hear you?"

"Sorry," Carter whispered in response.

LeBeau, crouched down beside Newkirk suddenly chuckled softly. Newkirk looked at him. "And just what's so bloody funny, LeBeau?" he asked.

"I think we just saw a Little Deer Who Runs Swift and Sure Through Forest," he joked.

Remembering Carter's Sioux name, Newkirk suddenly smirked. "Not bad, LeBeau. Not bad at all."

Carter chuckled before he suddenly realized what he was chuckling about. His eyes narrowed. "Hey. That's not funny."

"Pipe down!" Hogan warned them looking over his shoulder. Looking at his watch, Hogan noticed the time and started moving again with the men behind him.

* * *

Henrik was pacing back and forth nervously after having checked his watch. The time was getting close and he was becoming excited; nervous and excited. His mind was obsessed with finally coming face-to-face with Hogan again. The only thing he figured he'd have a possible problem with is that Hogan might not be alone. He had been so obsessed with thinking about capturing Hogan that he had overlooked that. Henrik smirked. No problem. He figured he had two ways he could handle it. One, he could take Hogan hostage knowing his men would never endanger their commanding officer and he'd get away with him. Or two, he could isolate Hogan from the men who were with him very quietly and take him away and by the time his men realized what had happened, he and Hogan would be gone. And the next time Hogan would be seen, he would be a mutilated bloody body lying near Stalag 13. He had to control himself and not let his excitement get away. Now was not the time; there would be plenty of time for excitement later after he had his prey safely tucked away where nobody would ever find him or be able to rescue him. He checked his watch again and noticed it was time.

* * *

Hogan's body stiffened as he neared the rendezvous spot where only a few days again he had been brutally assaulted by four guards. He strained to have a look around and didn't see anyone; but if Night Owl was there waiting, he wouldn't be standing out in the open. Hogan took in and let out a deep breath. He had to hold it together long enough and not stay at this place any longer than he had to. Still crouching, Hogan turned slightly until he faced his men.

"Okay. Night Owl's either not here yet, or he's hidden waiting for the recognition code. Regardless…Kinch, Carter, LeBeau, Newkirk, I want all of you to wait here while I meet with Night Owl." Seeing the men about to argue he held up a hand stopping them. "That's the way I want to do it, fellas. But, I want you to keep watch and observe. If it's Henrik and he's alone, use your own judgment before you do anything. And beyond everything, don't take unnecessary chances. I don't want anybody to end up captured or worse. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," Carter and Kinch replied together.

"Right, Gov'nor."

"Oui, mon Colonel."

Hogan could see the despair on their faces and he softened a bit. "If I can handle Henrik alone I will. If I can't, I'll feel better knowing you fellas are close by." He let out a deep breath. "Wish me luck," he said with a faint smile.

"Good luck, Colonel," Kinch said.

LeBeau gently gripped Hogan's arm. "Be careful, mon Colonel. Stay safe and come back to us." Then, Hogan was gone.

The men watched him leave. "Think he'll be able to handle Henrik alone, Kinch?" asked Carter, worried.

Kinch's eyes were still looking in the direction Hogan had gone. "Normally I'd say he'd have no problem, Carter. But in his current state he's liable to freeze allowing Henrik to overpower 'im."

Pausing, Newkirk looked at Kinch. "Blimey, Kinch. You know how the Gov'nor feels about killin' somebody in cold blood."

"Oui," LeBeau chimed in. "The Colonel couldn't kill someone in cold blood no matter what they had done to him. That filthy Bosche will overpower him unless we help him."

Kinch's eyes shifted to the little Frenchman. "That's why we came up with that plan before the colonel showed up in the changing room. This way, he'll be protected." Kinch put a hand on Carter's shoulder. "If we have to, Carter, think you can do it?"

"Piece of pie," the young sergeant said.

"Cake, Andrew," Newkirk reminded him. "Piece of cake."

* * *

Hogan had gone only a few feet and then crouched down on one knee, looking around. He still didn't see anybody in the small clearing, and it made him uncomfortable. He felt his gut was telling him to turn and run, but he had a job to do. He let out a deep breath.

"It's a beautiful moonlit night," he said in a low voice and waited for the reply. There was none. He sighed nervously. "It's a beautiful moonlit night," he repeated a bit more loudly.

"Only if there's no clouds," came the reply.

Hogan had heard the reply but still didn't see anybody. "Night Owl?"

"Yes. Colonel Hogan?"

"Yes. Where are you?"

"Step out into the clearing. I am standing just behind a small grove of trees."

A red flag went up to Hogan but he figured Night Owl could be playing it extremely cautious because of his high position with the Wehrmacht and wasn't use to being out in the open. And London had said he could be trusted. But yet there was his gut. Swallowing his nervousness, Hogan edged his way forward and slowly stepped out into the small clearing. With pistol in hand, he looked around carefully. He noticed the small grove of trees beside what was left of a small shed following a bombing. Then he saw it.

The tree he had laid over after he had been caught and his arms tied behind his back. He let out a deep breath as his eyes couldn't stray from that tree as the memories returned. He saw himself lying face down on that downed tree, his arms restrained behind him with his belt. He then saw Fritz undo his own trousers before he reached under him, undid his, pulled them down and then….

Hogan shook his head and ran a hand over his face. He had to get away from this place. He began to turn when something struck him across the jaw knocking him down, his head striking the ground hard. As he lay dazed on the ground, he felt someone jerk his arms behind him and the closing of handcuffs tightly on his wrists. Then, he was rolled over onto his back. Hogan looked up trying to see who was kneeling beside him but his vision was fuzzy and he was dazed. He shook his head as he closed his eyes and once he opened them again, tried to see who it was. There was a sharp intake of breath as his entire body tensed and his eyes widened in terror.

Hogan found himself looking up into the eyes of his worse nightmare.

"I've been waiting for you, Colonel Hogan," said a familiar voice.


	25. Chapter 25

****This chapter contains some sexual and violent scenes, some a bit graphic*****

**Chapter 25**

Hogan, staring up into the face of Henrik, tried to say something, but when he opened his mouth nothing would come out. But his eyes revealed what he felt as Henrik knelt beside him. The sergeant reached out, smirking, and caressed Hogan's cheek and enjoyed watching him shrink away from the touch; and laughed that laugh Hogan hated.

"You must have missed me, Colonel Hogan," he said. "I wasn't sure if you would show up at this place which holds such fond memories for both of us." As he rambled on he rested his hand on the front of Hogan's trousers and roughly squeezed when the colonel tried to crawl away; Hogan grimaced from the pain.

"Get you damn hands off of me!" Hogan finally said recovering his voice. "You will never assault me again! Never!"

Henrik didn't appear to be listening to Hogan. Instead, he calmly placed the muzzle of his lugar against Hogan's manhood causing the colonel's eyes to widen the size of saucers.

"You can't be serious," he stammered knowing exactly what Henrik was thinking. "Even you couldn't be that sadistic."

Amused, Henrik moved the lugar with a smirk. "No, colonel. That would be too simple. You see, you have to pay for Hans and Fritz. I intend to do things to you you've probably never even read in your dirty American magazines. Perhaps I shall play Russian roulette with you. Would you like that, Colonel Hogan? One bullet in my weapon and whenever I pull the trigger, you'll never know if there's a live bullet in that chamber."

Hogan, dark eyes blazing, glared at Henrik. "I know what Russian roulette is, you bastard! You can have that lugar pressed against my temple as often as you want, I will tell you nothing! You can go to hell!"

Henrik smiled as he roughly gripped one of Hogan's arms and yanked him to his feet. He leaned forward, bringing his mouth close to Hogan's ear. "You're partially correct, Colonel," he said in a low voice. "But my weapon won't be aimed at your head. It will be aimed a bit lower. Or perhaps I'll put it inside you and watch you tremble with terror every time you hear me pull that trigger."

Biting his lower lip as he was awash with sheer terror, Hogan could feel his face bathed in sweat. He squeezed his eyes shut and spoke through gritted teeth. "You are a sick, twisted, perverted bastard. You'll never get away with this. My men will hunt you down and find you. You might kill me, but you'll have to deal with them." Hogan thought for a moment he saw a movement in the bushes but wasn't sure. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

Henrik smirked. "I'm not concerned with your men, Colonel. Except for your Sergeant Kinchloe. He and I have some unfinished business before I put him out of his misery."

"You leave Kinch alone!" Hogan uttered with more courage than he currently felt. "I won't let you touch any of them! I won't!"

"But Colonel, you're not in any position to do anything, are you?" Henrik sneered rubbing his weapon slowly up and down Hogan's leg. He suddenly pulled him roughly against him. "I ought to finish you right here and now! But I want to have fun with you first. I am going to rip you to pieces, Colonel, until you beg and scream for mercy just like you wanted to do when we raped you a few days ago. But enough time is being wasted here. I have a nice place picked out and it is just waiting for you. Somewhere where we won't be disturbed and I can take my time with you. Let's go." He began to roughly drag Hogan away in another direction. The colonel, sensing his men were close by, resisted as much as possible without arousing suspicion.

"Let him go, Henrik," an angry voice said from behind them. Looking over his shoulder, Henrik saw Kinch walk out into the clearing, his pistol aimed. However, Henrik made sure to keep Hogan in front of him using him as a shield.

"Ah, Sergeant Kinchloe, how good to see you again. Colonel Hogan and I were just discussing you." He roughly jerked Hogan's arm while pressing his weapon against the back of his head. "Weren't we?" he sneered through gritted teeth. Hogan knew he was failing miserably at hiding his terror. He closed his eyes momentarily, then opened them again and stared into Kinch's face.

"Kinch, don't worry about me. Shoot him! Kill him! Now!" Hogan ordered.

Try as he might Kinch found he couldn't get a clear shot as Henrik made sure whichever way he moved, he kept the colonel in front of him. "I can't get a clear shot, Colonel," he said. "If I shoot I'm liable to hit you."

"Never mind me," Hogan ordered. "Just shoot the bastard!"

Henrik snickered. "I somehow think your Sergeant Kinchloe isn't going to shoot me, Colonel, and you want to know why?" He saw Hogan wasn't going to answer. "It's very simple really. He's afraid he'll kill you by accident." Henrik's blazing eyes bore into Kinch. "I suggest you toss your weapon over there, Sergeant or I will shoot your Colonel in the back of the head. The choice is yours."

It didn't take Kinch long to decide. Despite the pained expression on Hogan's face he watched Kinch toss his weapon towards the bushes. He and Hogan exchanged looks and no words needed to be said. Each knew what the other felt and thought.

"Unfortunately, sergeant, I can't kill you right now. I might need you alive. I want you to see what I do to your colonel. Maybe you'll even want to have a go at him. Would you like that? Would you like to screw your commanding officer, Sergeant Kinchloe? I just might have you take a go at your colonel as a form of entertainment. But you will hang for the murder of Sergeant Mueller. Trust me. But first, your colonel is going to amuse me and be a good boy about it. Aren't you?" He grinned at Hogan.

"You are a twisted animal," Kinch said. "Only a twisted individual would think of something like that."

Both men saw Hogan tense up and close his eyes. "You'd better kill me now," Hogan told Henrik. "Because first chance I get I'm gonna break your neck. I swear I will. I will not let you rape me again, nor will I let you hurt one of my men."

Ignoring Hogan, Henrik looked out from behind Hogan. "I wonder who else you brought with you, Colonel. Perhaps that nice Sergeant Carter? Hmmm?"

"You stay away from Carter! In fact, stay away from all of my men!"

"That struck a nerve, didn't it, Colonel," Henrik purred into Hogan's ear. He then looked past Kinch at the bushes. "If there's anybody else hiding out there, I suggest he show himself or your colonel gets a bullet in his back!" he shouted.

There was a moment of silence before a small figure stepped out from behind some bushes; it was LeBeau. His hands were raised in the air. "I surrender. Please…" he begged. "Do not hurt Colonel Hogan."

"Well, well," Henrik chuckled. "What do we have here, Colonel. A diminutive Frenchman. I've never had a Frenchman before. Might prove enjoyable. Like having a French pastry of sorts. Toss your gun over there." He watched LeBeau comply.

"Please. Release Colonel Hogan. Take me instead of him. You have hurt him enough."

"Louie, no!" Hogan shouted before he suddenly grimaced from the pain of the gun in his back.

"I told you before, Colonel. You're not in control here. I am. And I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want me kill your men right here in front of your eyes. Perhaps I'll start with Sergeant Kinchloe." Henrik pointed his weapon in Kinch's direction.

"No, don't!" Hogan found himself pleading. "I'll do whatever you want. Just don't kill him or LeBeau."

"You'll do whatever I want? Let's see, Colonel; does that include allowing me to fuck you as much as I please as often as I please with no complaints from you?"

"Yes," Hogan said in a strained voice. He felt physically sick thinking of Henrik's hands roaming over his body. But right now he'd say anything to buy himself, Newkirk and Carter time.

"And you will tell me whatever I want to know?"

"Yes. Just don't hurt Kinch or LeBeau."

"Very well, Colonel. I agree to your terms. However, to make sure **you** stick to them, your men will come with us."

Hogan glanced over his shoulder. "But you just said…"

"I said I wouldn't hurt them. But I said nothing about not having them watch me have my way with you in any manner I want using anything I want. And that includes the Russian roulette."

"Russian roulette?" asked LeBeau angrily. "The Colonel has had guns pointed at his head before with Russian roulette and did not talk. He will tell you nothing!"

"My lugar won't be aimed at his head, Frenchman," Henrik replied sweetly. He noticed the look of horror on LeBeau's face when the realization struck him as to what kind of Russian roulette Henrik would play with the colonel. Henrik motioned with his weapon. "Did anybody else come with you, Colonel?"

Hogan's body sagged in defeat. "No," he muttered weakly. "I figured it to be a three-man job. Kinch and LeBeau for lookouts while I met with Night Owl." His eyes suddenly narrowed as he looked over his shoulder. "You're not Night Owl, are you, Henrik?"

Henrik smirked. "To answer your question, Colonel, no I'm not. But I know he is a high-ranking official with the Wehrmacht who supplies info to the Allies. It wasn't difficult to use his code name to lure you out of camp. And here you are. But I wouldn't worry about him. I'll be exposing him once I'm done with you." He again motioned with his weapon at Kinch and LeBeau. "You two, start walking that way. Your colonel and I will be right behind you, and I'll have my gun pressed against the base of his skull. Either of you try anything, your colonel's brains will be splattered all over you. Now move!"

Looking at each other and then their commander, LeBeau with Kinch beside him, slowly started walking in the direction they were ordered by Henrik. Each periodically looking back making sure Hogan and Henrik were behind them. All the while Hogan's mind was racing as he tried to come up with something to get them out of this mess. He knew all too well that Henrik was a liar and had no intention of keeping his promise, and he would rather die than let him do his men what was done to him. As they neared the end of a fence near the row of bushes, Kinch glanced back, looked into Hogan's eyes, and motioned with his own to the left. Hogan ever so slightly nodded so as not to alert Henrik. He suddenly stopped just outside the fence and refused to go any further.

"I didn't order you to stop, Hogan," Henrik ordered. "Keep moving!" he prodded him in the back with his weapon. Hogan stumbled but remained where he was. Kinch and LeBeau were watching carefully.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Henrik. And neither are my men."

"You'll do what I tell you, Colonel, or you'll watch one of your men die in front of your eyes, and have nobody to blame but yourself."

"I still won't move," Hogan said defiantly. "And you won't kill my men either."

Henrik smirked as he pressed his gun under Hogan's jaw as they stared harshly at each other. "And what makes you so sure I won't?" he asked.

"Because, mate, we won't let you is why," said a British voice. Henrik felt the muzzle of a pistol pressed against the back of his skull. Newkirk carefully moved the lugar away from Hogan's head before taking it from Henrik and handing it to Carter who tucked it into his waistband. Carter stood on Henrik's opposite side holding a gun on the German. "I suggest you take your bloody hands off the Gov'nor like a good lad." Seeing Henrik not reacting, Newkirk stuffed the barrel in Henrik's ear and took off the safety. "Now mate, you have until the count of ten to release Colonel Hogan, or it'll be **your** brains splattered all over. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…" Henrik roughly released his hold on the colonel's arm, a sneer still on his face.

Hogan sagged to his knees on the ground. He felt like someone had pulled the plug and let all the air out of him. Kinch and LeBeau were immediately at his side. He looked around when he saw Newkirk kneeling just behind him holding the keys to the handcuffs. "I'll have you out of these bloody charm bracelets before you know it, sir," he said. After about a minute or two, Hogan's wrists were free and he rubbed them despite the soreness. Looking around at Henrik, Hogan grabbed the pistol from Newkirk's hand and getting to his feet, stormed towards the SS Sergeant. Enraged beyond reason, Hogan stuck the barrel of the weapon under Henrik's jaw.

"Give me a reason, any reason, to pull this trigger you bastard!" he snarled, his face dark and eyes filled with burning rage. "Just give me one good reason to kill you after what you and your friends did to me." Henrik remained silent but his eyes were also burning with rage as he glared at Hogan.

"You won't kill me, Hogan," he said. "And do you want to know how I know?" He glanced around at the others before focusing his eyes again on Hogan. "You won't kill me, Colonel, because you can't. No matter what's been done to you, you can't kill in cold blood. I know your type. It isn't in you. I'm sure you'll probably send me to London or someplace similar. But we will meet again, Colonel, after I have picked off your men one by one. And when they're all gone, then I shall come after you and finish what Hans, Fritz, Reinhold and I began with you. I'm willing to wait until after the war if I must. But seeing you lying over that downed tree with your hands tied behind your back and each of us having a go at you was the most enjoyable experience in my life. I do so look forward to a repeat performance."

Hogan was shaking with rage by this time as he roughly seized Henrik's collar in his fist and jerked him closer. His gun hand was trembling. "You will never do that to me again," he said his voice dripping with venom. "And you will never touch my men. Ever! Do we understand each other!?"

Henrik remained silent yet arrogant. Hogan lowered his weapon and backed up a few steps. He tossed the cuffs towards Carter who caught them up against his chest. "Carter, let's see how our friend here likes to have his arms tied behind his back."

"Yes, sir," the young sergeant replied handing his weapon to Newkirk before he approached Henrik with a look of disdain while Newkirk kept him covered. As Carter reached for Henrik, the guard suddenly jabbed his elbow into Newkirk's stomach hard knocking the breath out of him before reaching out and grabbing Carter's arm, pulling him in front of him. He then wrapped an arm around Carter's neck and seized the pistol from his waistband. Pressing it against Carter's temple, he moved himself into a position so that he was facing Hogan and the others. He pointed his weapon at the colonel.

"I suggest you drop your gun, Colonel, and now or your young sergeant will pay the price. I can just as easily use him in place of you. Now drop the gun." He smirked as Hogan tossed the weapon on the ground and stood with arms hanging at his sides.

"Let Carter go, Henrik," Hogan ordered. "You want me, you have me. Let my men go."

Henrik smirked. "You must take me for a fool, Colonel, to think I'd trust any of you. No Colonel. You and Sergeant Carter will leave here with me. Now tell your men to drop their weapons and not to follow us or I will kill your sergeant here. Do **we** understand each other, Colonel?" To emphasize his point, Henrik tightened his grip around Carter's throat causing the young sergeant to let out a yelp.

"Carter!" Hogan cried out taking a step forward.

"I'm okay, Colonel," Carter said tensely. "Get out of here. Don't let him get you, sir. Please."

"Now, Carter!" Kinch shouted suddenly. Henrik looked at Kinch momentarily in surprise which was all Carter needed.

As if on cue, Carter jammed his elbow into Henrik's abdomen as hard as he could knocking the wind out of him while at the same time stomping hard on the German's instep causing him to loosen his hold on him. He then propelled himself onto the ground at the same time Hogan launched himself on the ground grabbing his dropped weapon. He took aim as Henrik raised his weapon pointing it at Carter who, lying on the ground, covered his head.

"Noooooo!" Hogan cried as he raised his weapon and pulled the trigger. His shot hit Henrik in the shoulder. Gripping his shoulder, Henrik turned in the colonel's direction and fired at the same time Hogan did. Henrik fell over backward, a bullet to the chest, and lay still. Newkirk ran to Carter's side and breathed a sigh of relief at finding Carter was merely dazed. Kinch knelt beside Henrik and pressed two fingers against his throat. Looking at Newkirk he shook his head. He then grabbed Henrik's sidearm and tucked it into his waistband. Then he, Newkirk and a shaky Carter made their way to where Hogan lay very still with a frightened LeBeau beside him.

Newkirk looked at the Frenchman's face. "No, Louie. Oh no. Don't tell us," he said as he knelt down beside the still form. "He isn't dead, is he?"

"Non. He is alive," LeBeau said. "But I can't get him to open his eyes. He doesn't respond when I shake him, but he doesn't seem to be injured."

Kinch knelt beside Hogan and pressed two fingers against the colonel's neck. He heaved a sigh of relief. "He's alive," he muttered thankfully. Just then Hogan moaned and tried to open his eyes.

"Take it easy, sir," Kinch said as he helped roll Hogan onto his back. As he did so a flashback came to Kinch of having done this before. Hogan's eyes fluttered open as he raised a hand to his head and massaged his forehead.

"Did somebody get the number of the tank that hit me?" he joked tiredly.

Kinch, Newkirk and LeBeau all smiled with relief. "Yes, sir."

Hogan's eyes suddenly opened wider and grimaced as he struggled to sit up. "Henrik had Carter!" He looked around frantically before his eyes fell on the young sergeant who was on one knee at Hogan's feet. "Carter, are you all right? Did Henrik hurt you? Because if he did…."

"It's okay, Colonel," Carter said softly, putting a hand gently on one of the colonel's legs. "I'm fine. Henrik's dead. You shot 'im."

Hogan's eyes then fell on the body lying not far away. "He's dead? I mean really dead?" he asked as he grabbed his left arm; blood spurted between his fingers.

"He's dead, Colonel," Kinch explained as he and Newkirk helped Hogan to his feet. "He's dead and he'll never bother you again." Hogan slowly walked towards the body and motioned for Kinch and Newkirk to release his arms. He approached the body of Henrik, staring down at it with distaste and hatred the likes of which he had never felt for anybody; not even Major Hochstetter or the Gestapo. He then made a sound with his throat and spit on Henrik's body.

Meanwhile, LeBeau had gathered their discarded weapons. "Mon Colonel, we cannot remain here. Those shots might have attracted a patrol."

"You're right, LeBeau," Hogan agreed. Looking at his injured arm he noticed it was still bleeding. Newkirk pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and twisting it, wrapped it around Hogan's arm tying it tightly to help staunch the bleeding. "Thanks, Newkirk."

"No thanks needed, Gov'nor. Looks like the bullet went clean through. Wilson'll have you fixed up as right as rain in no time."

Hogan looked around. "Did we leave anything behind?"

"There's no blood except Henrik's, sir," Kinch said. "And we have all our weapons."

"Mon Colonel, there is no trace we were even here except for that," he motioned with his jaw at the dead German.

Hogan allowed a weak smile to appear on his face. "I refuse to take out the trash in this war. Let's go home," he said as he led the way back to camp with Kinch beside him just in case with Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau behind them keeping watch.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Everyone was relieved and happy once back in camp and in the tunnels. The minute they had all caught their breath, Kinch sent LeBeau to get Wilson and bring him along to treat the colonel. LeBeau hurried along, grateful to get away from having to see the blood.

Hogan had been unusually quiet from the moment of Henrik's death and still hadn't spoken a word. He wearily sat down on the bench and stared at a spot on the dirt floor, arms resting on his thighs, hands clasped between his knees.

"Colonel, you all right?" asked Kinch, concerned over the colonel's lack of response to what had happened. Hogan didn't speak or even acknowledge he had said anything. He just continued staring. Kinch, Carter and Newkirk all exchanged worried looks. Kinch slowly sat down beside Hogan and rested a hand on his shoulder; he felt the colonel flinch. "Colonel, you haven't said a thing since Henrik died. Don't shut us out, sir. Please tell us what you're thinking. It might help you to talk about it."

Hogan turned his head and looked Kinch directly; there was a sadness in his brown eyes that Kinch had only seen a few times before and unfortunately quite a few times since the rape. He was hoping secretly that Hogan wasn't going into shut-down mode over having killed the last of his attackers. He secretly shuddered as he recalled some of the things he had heard Henrik tell the colonel he intended to do to him with the worse being Russian roulette with a gun shoved inside the colonel as he repeatedly pulled the trigger. He knew the colonel had to have been terrified. "Talk to us, Colonel," he said softly.

Hogan turned his eyes back to the spot on the floor he had been staring at. "I have nothing to say. I suggest all of you just leave me alone right now. I need to be alone for awhile."

Kinch, letting out a deep breath, looked up at Newkirk and Carter who were worried as to what to do for their commander. Just then, LeBeau returned with Wilson behind him. The medic sat his bag on the bench beside Hogan. "LeBeau told me what happened, Colonel," he said, opening his bag and removing his stethoscope and a pair of scissors. "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut away your sweater as I don't want you moving that arm until I've had a chance to examine your injury."

Hogan didn't indicate he even heard the request. "Just go away, Joe. I'm all right. I just…I need to be alone right now if you don't mind." He massaged his forehead. "Just everybody get out and leave me alone. Please." The colonel's voice wasn't angry, tense, or even bitter. In fact, if anything, it was flat with no emotion whatsoever.

Wilson sighed. "Colonel, I'll be more than happy to leave you alone if that's what you want. But I am going to examine you and treat your injury first. Now, we can do this two ways. You can voluntarily let me do my job and treat you, or I can sedate you right here, right now, move you to the infirmary, and have put you in restraints if need be. But I will examine and treat you." The medic folded his arms. "The choice is yours, sir."

Hogan's eyes shifted upward even though his expression didn't change. Then, with a disgusted sigh, he rolled up his turtleneck, wincing from the pain in his injured arm. As Wilson placed the earpieces in his ears, he glanced at the others who were now changed into their Allied uniforms again with the exception of LeBeau. "Fellas, I'll let you all know how the colonel is when I'm done. But can you give us some privacy."

Kinch slowly got up. "Yeah, sure, Joe," he said motioning to the others. "Louie, you can change and clean up when Joe's done down here." As he ushered the others out Kinch glanced back at Hogan. "Do you want me to contact London, sir, and let them know what happened?"

"If you want to. I don't really care right now."

"Yes, sir." Kinch turned and disappeared with the others. When they had reached the radio room, Kinch sat down at the radio and prepared to put on his headset.

"What's wrong with the Colonel?" asked the Frenchman, concerned. "I would have thought he would be happy and relieved that the last of those filthy Bosches was dead. Instead, he looks so sad."

Newkirk shrugged as he stuck his hands in his pants pockets. "You'd think so, wouldn't you," he said forlornly. He kicked at a loose pebble in the dirt near the table. "Maybe he's still thinkin' 'bout what all that bastard Henrik told 'im he was gonna do to 'im when he got 'im alone that's got 'im shook up."

LeBeau appeared to shiver from the cold. "Just the thought of Russian roulette the way Henrik wanted to play it on mon Colonel was too horrible to imagine. I never thought somebody could be that twisted and depraved."

"Well, I'm just glad Henrik's dead," Carter said sticking his hands in his jacket pockets. "I don't even want to think about what he had planned for Colonel Hogan. It's too scary and horrible to even imagine."

"Yeah, well, whatever's botherin' the Colonel," Kinch began. "I hope he'll let us help." He then looked at the young sergeant and allowed a small grin to appear. "Andrew, you did good. We're proud of you."

"Sure are, mate," Newkirk agreed patting Carter on the back. "Knew you had it in you."

"Oui, Andre. You were manifique."

Carter hung his head and blushed. "Aw shucks, guys. I didn't do all that much," he said, embarrassed.

"Didn't do all that much?" echoed Kinch, amazed. "You made it possible for Colonel Hogan to kill that bastard in self defense rather than in cold blood which we all know he would never do no matter what. You might call it not much, but I call it everything. However, I suggest we never tell the colonel we arranged it this way so he could kill him. This stays between us and is never discussed again. Everybody agree?"

The others all nodded their agreement with the radioman. "Okay. You guys better go upstairs and get some rest. LeBeau, once Wilson's finished with the colonel you can come back down and clean up and change."

LeBeau looked around. "If it's okay with you, mon ami, I would prefer to wait here until Wilson is finished with the colonel." Kinch glanced at the others and noticed them agreeing. He smiled.

"Okay. But I'd better contact London and let them know what happened."

* * *

Wilson, having finished examining, cleaning, stitching and wrapping Hogan's wound, assisted the colonel with putting on his khaki shirt. He sensed Hogan was troubled by something that happened while they were on their mission, but he knew better than to ask. Hogan would talk about it when and if he was ready. "You're very lucky, Colonel," the medic said watching Hogan button his shirt gingerly moving his injured right arm. "The bullet went clean through and didn't hit any bone; there's also no sign of infection. As long as you keep it clean and follow doctor's orders, you should heal very nicely."

"Thanks, Joe," Hogan replied in the same bland tone.

Wilson folded his arms. "Colonel, it might help to talk about what's troubling you."

"Right now I don't want to talk. I just want to be alone if it's okay with you." Hogan carefully put his uninjured arm in his leather jacket with the other draped over his shoulder.

"If that's what you want, Colonel," the medic replied. "But whatever's troubling you, sooner or later you're going to have to talk about it and get it out in the open."

"We'll see," Hogan replied. "Thanks." He abruptly turned and walked away in the direction of the ladder leading towards the barracks up above. Sighing wearily, Wilson gathered his medical bag and headed towards the radio room hoping he would find the men still there. As he got closer to the radio room he slowed so as not to interrupt Kinch's transmissions. When Kinch finished, Wilson approached. The guys looked at him.

"How is the Colonel?" asked LeBeau.

Wilson sighed wearily. "The bullet went clean through his forearm. If he takes it easy he should recover fully." The medic's eyes suddenly narrowed. "I asked the colonel but he didn't want to talk about it, so, I'm going to ask you four. Did something happen out there? Something is apparently upsetting the colonel."

He men all exchanged uncomfortable looks. Finally, it was Kinch who looked at the medic. "Sorry, Joe. We don't think it would be right for us to say anything about what happened without the colonel's permission. I hope you can understand."

"Yeah, I do. But I'm worried about him. He is so depressed right now." He paused for a long moment and then turned his attention to the radioman. "Kinch, do you think you could talk to him? Possibly see if you can get him to open up about what's troubling him?"

Kinch looked around uncomfortably and shifted in his seat. "Yeah, sure. But why me? I mean, wouldn't it be better for a man with medical knowledge to talk with the colonel? I have no medical experience. I might not be the best man for him to talk to."

"Correction," the medic replied with a small grin. "You just might be the perfect one to get the colonel to open up. You were there with him tonight. Kinch, he needs to open up to somebody and I think you're the right person."

After mulling it over for a few seconds, Kinch shrugged. "Sure, if you think I can help him. I'll go right now. Is he still in the changing room?"

"No. Last time I saw him he was heading in the direction of the ladder leading to the barracks."

Kinch, removing the headset, got to his feet. "I'll go now. You guys wait here. The colonel may be more willing to talk without a crowd staring at him."

Newkirk rubbed the back of his neck. "I have some uniforms that need mendin.'"

"Oui. I will help you as soon as I clean up and change," LeBeau added.

"I think I can find something in my lab to work on," Carter said.

Wilson patted Kinch on the shoulder. "Good luck. I'm heading back to my barracks. If you need me, just send somebody to get me."

"Right. Thanks Joe." Kinch hastily walked away not waiting for Wilson to answer him. Walking briskly down the tunnels towards the entrance to their barracks, Kinch suddenly pulled up. Hogan was sitting with his back against the ladder, legs bent and arms folded across his knees, forehead resting on his arms.

"Colonel?" Kinch asked softly as he slowly approached his commander. Hogan didn't raise his head. As he drew closer, Kinch knelt down his front of the officer, the radioman reached out and gently placed a hand on Hogan's shoulder. Feeling the touch, Hogan's head shot up, and Kinch found himself looking into brown eyes full of pain.

"Colonel, tell me what I can do for you? There must be something."

Hogan sighed. "There's nothing. I just…that is I…" he blinked away the tears that were threatening. He would not cry in front of his men. He couldn't finish his sentence. Kinch sat down facing the colonel.

Kinch chose his words carefully. "Colonel, I heard some of what Henrik said to you. He was a sick, twisted individual who wanted to make you pay in the worst possible way. But you beat him. He's dead and you're alive. You survived and can now begin to move on with your life."

"Kinch, I was so terrified when Henrik captured me again. I have never been more afraid of anything in my entire life. Part of me was hoping you guys would show up soon; but a part of me was hoping you would have left and returned to camp. Especially when he captured you and LeBeau. I couldn't handle that. I felt I had failed again. Failed to keep my men safe from that animal. Do you have any idea what it's like to feel you can't keep your own men safe from danger?"

"Colonel, listen to me. You didn't fail at anything. And you shouldn't feel that way. Henrik was a clever man who had time to plan everything very carefully."

Hogan massaged his forehead. "Kinch, the things he had planned for me were unspeakable. I never knew anybody could be so evil. Hochstetter and the Gestapo aren't even that twisted. He wanted to…to…I can't even tell you. It's too horrible to speak of."

Kinch licked his dry lips. "You mean the Russian roulette?"

Hogan's eyes widened in horror. "You heard then?"

"Yeah, I heard. So did LeBeau, Carter, and Newkirk. As I said, Henrik was a pretty sick and twisted bastard to think up something like that. But you beat him. He can't hurt you anymore. You also protected me and LeBeau at the same time. Colonel, you stood up to him when it counted and you beat him."

Hogan seemed to mull over what he had been told. He allowed a slight grin to appear. "You're not just saying that are you? Just to make me feel better?"

Kinch grinned in response. "No, sir. I promised you once I would never lie to you and I'm not lying you now. You did protect me and LeBeau. You were willing to give your life for us. That tells me you were in command mode again."

"I just couldn't let Henrik get you and Louie alone. I couldn't let that happen. The things he might've done to you two would've been unspeakable."

"Colonel, there's no doubt in my mind you would not have let that happen. You would've found a way to stop him."

Hogan tilted his head slightly sideways and looked at his radioman oddly. "Speaking of that, Kinch, there's something curious about that."

"What's that, sir?"

"You shouted 'Carter now!'. What was that about?"

Kinch shrugged innocently. "I simply believed if Henrik thought we were up to something, it might distract him enough and give you a chance to shoot him. Luckily it worked."

"Then why don't I believe it?"

Kinch shrugged again. "I can't answer that, sir. But what I told you was the truth."

"Uh huh," Hogan uttered. He slowly got to his feet as did Kinch. The two men eyed each other. Hogan had composed himself again, and let out a deep breath. "Kinch, I know I sound like a broken record. But I want to again say thank you for everything. I don't know how I would've gotten through this without your words of wisdom and your encouragement. You and the guys have supported me throughout this entire mess and I appreciate it. I really do."

Kinch smiled. "You're welcome, Colonel. Try and get some rest. The rest of us will be up in awhile. Goodnight, sir."

Hogan turned towards the ladder and put a foot on the bottom rung and gripped an upper one. He looked over his shoulder. "Kinch, did you reach London?"

"Yes, sir. They weren't happy about things. But they did say they were glad nobody was hurt. Oh, I did tell them about what happened to you as you ordered me to."

"And?"

"They offered their apologies and asked if you were all right. I told them you were recovering. Then, they asked if you thought you could still lead this unit. I gave them your response."

"What'd they say?"

"Four words. 'Glad to hear it'. That was it. Sorry, sir."

Hogan sighed. "I didn't expect anything more from them anyway. Thanks, Kinch. Good night." He again turned toward the ladder.

"There's one more thing Colonel."

Hogan looked back again. "What now?"

"I contacted the underground, spoke with our contact and told them about Henrik. They're volunteered to have their people move the body so there'll be no connection with Stalag 13. I didn't give them any particulars other than we had to kill him and didn't have time to dispose of the body. They said for you not to worry about it."

Hogan simply nodded. "Fine. Thanks Kinch." Turning, he climbed up the ladder and into the barracks leaving Kinch watching him from below. Once inside his quarters, Hogan shut the door behind him and found himself collapsing onto the lower bunk. Burying his face in his hands he began to sob uncontrollably. It was a release for him; all the days of pain, torture, fear, shame, humiliation; all the feelings he had buried in order to function had burst to the surface with a vengeance and he didn't even try to stop it. It made his feel good to let it out. He eventually fell sideways onto the bed with the tears still coming, wetting his pillow. The nightmare of Henrik coming after him again was over, and as Kinch had said, Hogan had won. He had survived what had happened; but how could he put behind him the knowledge of what was done to him in the woods and again in his own quarters? That was the big question he had yet to answer.

* * *

It was later that Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk climbed back up into the barracks with Newkirk striking the hidden mechanism and watched the lower bunk drop over the opening as the ladder rose at the same time. The barracks were dark, but the men were accustomed to maneuvering in the dark; and the other prisoners were used to Hogan and the men coming and going at all hours so they learned to ignore the sound of the tunnel entrance rising and falling. Once their eyes had become accustomed to the dark, the men all looked in the direction of their commander's private quarters, and immediately made their way quietly in its direction. As quietly as he could, Kinch opened the door just enough so the four of them could see inside.

Hogan appeared to be sound asleep on the lower bunk, a faint snoring could be heard. His form highlighted by the sliver of moonlight peeking through the narrow opening between the closed shutters. His face appeared peaceful. Kinch then just as quietly closed the door.

"I don't know about you mates," Newkirk said softly. "But it appears the end justified the means."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

To Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk it seemed like they had just closed their eyes when the door to the barracks burst open.

"Raus! Raus! Everybody out for roll call!" bellowed Schultz in a loud voice. He slapped the side of Newkirk's upper bunk startling the British corporal awake. "Everybody outside for roll call!"

"Blimey, Schultzie," Newkirk commented rubbing his bleary eyes. "Why don't you just do a bleedin' head count instead."

"Because the Kommandant demands that all prisoners report outside for roll call," Schultz explained as he wandered around the common room. "Do don't ask any more questions. Everybody outside. Raus! Schnell!"

LeBeau ran his hands down his face as he yawned. He was standing beside Kinch who had his arms folded looking completely disinterested. Carter sat on the edge of his bunk yawning.

"C'mon, Schultz," the young sergeant complained. "Have a heart. Colonel Hogan isn't feeling well. Can't we stay inside and you just tell Klink we're all here."

"What's wrong with Colonel Hogan? No wait….don't tell me. Too much monkey business last night." Schultz waddled over to the colonel's quarters and knocked loudly on the door. "Colonel Hogaaaaaaaaan! Roll caaaaaaaaall!"

"I'll be right out, Schultz," Hogan answered.

Schultz turned and slowly trudged out the door leaving the men to get dressed while Newkirk, LeBeau, Carter and Kinch all glanced at each other each wondering how the colonel would be this morning. As they hurriedly set about getting dressed, they didn't have long to wait as the door opened to Hogan's quarters and the colonel walked out slowly putting on his leather jacket, mindful of his injured arm and zipped it partially upward. His crush cap was already on his head, pushed back.

"Let's go, gentlemen," he announced in a voice the men hadn't heard in days. "Our fearless leader is waiting." He headed out the door into the cool early morning air and walked to his spot in the formation beside Newkirk with hands clasped behind his back. His team kept their eyes on him the entire time as Schultz went about counting each prisoner.

"Schuuuuuuultz, repooooooooooooooooort!" bellowed the voice of Kommandant Klink as he marched purposely forward. Schultz turned and exchanged salutes with the Kommandant.

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for," he announced.

"Excellent." Klink's eyes looked up and down the two lines of men standing before him with his eyes finally resting on Hogan. He approached the American who stood with a smirk on his face. To Klink, his American counterpart seemed almost happy this morning. "Colonel Hogan, you're happy this morning. That tells me you're up to something. If you're planning an escape forget it. Nobody ever escapes from Stalag 13."

Hogan shrugged noncommittally. "Everybody needs a hobby, Kommandant," he said almost cheerfully. "And what better hobby than tunnel digging? Besides, I always say busy hands are happy hands."

"You seem awfully smug this morning, Hogan," Klink was becoming flustered and Hogan could see it. "Perhaps you're ready to resume your duties as Senior POW officer?"

"I have been getting pretty bored of late, sir. Perhaps the extra duties would do me good."

"Very well, I want you and Sergeant Kinchloe to report to my office immediately after roll call." He glanced at his rotund Sergeant-of-the guard. "Schultz, after you dismiss your men, go to barracks twelve and get Sergeant Wilson."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz replied saluting. As Klink turned and stormed back to the Kommandantur, Schultz looked at the prisoners. "All prisoners diss-missed."

Minutes later as the prisoners dispersed, Kinch, LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk gathered around their commander, concerned.

"Mon Colonel, are you all right?" asked LeBeau.

Hogan allowed a smile to appear. "LeBeau, I never felt better. I had an epiphany last night that made me realize I can get past this. It'll take time, but with the help of my good friends, I just might be able to beat this and put it behind me." He looked at Kinch. "Let's go, Kinch. We have a meeting with our illustrious leader."

As they started to leave, Hogan paused when Newkirk called out to him. He turned.

"You want something Newkirk?"

"Just curious, sir. When Klink was right up in your face and all, what did you see? I mean…"

"I know what you're asking, Peter. I didn't feel scared if that's what you want to know. As far as what I saw….hmmm. I guess I saw a bald-headed Kraut with a monocle." Then, with a smirk, he turned and walked away with Kinch leaving the other three standing with nervous miles on their faces.

"Maybe Colonel Hogan is really back," Carter exclaimed hopefully.

"Looks like it, mate," Newkirk replied. "But let's not get out hopes up too high."

* * *

Hogan and Kinch sauntered into Klink's office both offering the Kommandant salutes; Then Hogan promptly plopped down in the chair facing Klink's desk, tossing his crush cap onto the spike of the pickelhaube on the corner of the desk.

Klink looked annoyed as he sat down behind his desk. "Please make yourself at home, Colonel Hogan," he said sarcastically, miffed at the American. "Perhaps you'd like a cigar while we're waiting for Sergeant Wilson?" Klink was again being sarcastic. Hogan smiled as he leaned forward and opened the humidor.

"Don't mind if I do, Kommandant," he said. He yelped as his fingers got caught when Klink slammed the lid shut. "You leave my cigars alone," he announced.

"Indian giver," Hogan mumbled shaking his hand.

Kinch meanwhile watched the exchange hiding a smirk. The colonel was in rare form this morning and seemed almost like his old self again. But he kept a watchful eye on Hogan just in case. Just then, the office door opened and in ambled Schultz with Sergeant Wilson behind him; Schultz saluted. "Herr Kommandant, here is Sergeant Wilson as ordered."

Klink returned the saluted. "Thank you, Schultz. You can leave."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz quietly walked out the office pulling the door closed behind him. Once he was gone, Wilson turned his attention to the Kommandant.

"Schultz said you wanted to see me, sir?" he asked.

"Yes I did, sergeant. It concerns Colonel Hogan."

"I see," Wilson's eyes shifted to his commander who shrugged innocently with a 'who me?' look on his face. "What about Colonel Hogan, sir?" he asked turning back to Klink.

"Colonel Hogan, in not so many words, has intimated to me a desire to resume his duties as Senior POW officer. And as he is currently under your medical care, I wanted to find out if there is any reason you know of why I should deny his request."

Wilson's eyes shifted briefly to those of Kinch who motioned with his own his answer. Satisfied, Wilson looked at Hogan before turning his attention to Klink. "No, Kommandant. I have no problem with Colonel Hogan resuming his duties as Senior POW officer. In my medical opinion, he has sufficiently recovered."

* * *

A mini celebration took place in Hogan's quarters behind closed doors when the men heard the Kommandant transfer the duties of Senior POW officer back to Hogan. That told them that their commander felt well enough to at least resume his duties as the Senior officer. But the celebration was also tempered by the knowledge that he had suffered a tremendous indignity from which he was still recovering; and that he was, at least to them, still a bit shaky. But he was hiding it well from the others in the camp and even from those in his own barracks except for them.

"The Colonel must be feeling better if he wants his Senior POW duties back again," Carter said.

"Perhaps," LeBeau answered. "We can at least hope so. I mean, he did seem different this morning."

"Don't forget he was sleeping on the bottom bunk as well," Newkirk added. "He'd been avoiding it like the plague since he was attacked on it by those three bastards."

"Oui. I agree. But perhaps with Henrik's death, the Colonel has hopefully begun to put this entire nightmare behind him and begun to more on."

Just then the door opened and Hogan and Kinch walked in, closing the door. Hogan noticed the coffee pot was still plugged in. "I see you guys were listening in," he remarked with a smirk.

The little Frenchman slowly approached his commander and looked up at him with concerned eyes. "Mon Colonel, are you really all right now? Or are you just trying to keep things from us so we won't worry about you? We need to know."

"Louie, you can't ask the Gov'nor a question like that," said Newkirk who was hesitant to admit he was curious about the same thing himself.

Hogan sat down on the lower bunk and remained silent for a few minutes as he thought about how to answer LeBeau's question. Finally, he looked up at LeBeau. "Louie, you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine. Really. Even though Henrik's death went a long way to make me realize I don't have to be afraid anymore, it's still gonna take me awhile to begin to feel safe here again. I also wish I could say I no longer had the dreams but hopefully in time they will go away. And I'm still a bit shaky, especially when someone puts a hand on me, but I believe that will pass in time as well. But I honestly and truly believe with the help of my best friends, I can put this ugly nightmare behind me and move on with my life. So don't worry about me."

LeBeau allowed a small smile to appear. "Oui, mon Colonel. But we do worry. I know we have told you this before, and you have told us not to many times, but we do worry about you because without you there is nothing. What affects you affects us. Whoever hurts you hurts us as well. And those are things we do not take lightly. Also, we will be here for you should you need someone to lean on."

Hogan, touched, rested a hand on the little Frenchman's shoulder and smiled. "I know, Louie. And I appreciate it. Really." Taking a moment to reign in his emotions, Hogan let out a deep breath. "LeBeau, why don't you get breakfast started. I'm starved."

"Oui, mon Colonel." LeBeau hurried from the room to start breakfast.

Alone with the others, Hogan rubbed the back of his neck. "Kinch, after breakfast, check with our contact in the underground and see about the trash removal."

"Sure thing, Colonel," Kinch replied.

"Okay, fellas, you can go. I need to be alone and think. Somebody come and get me when breakfast is ready."

The others agreed as they headed out the door. Only Carter hesitated in the doorway. "Colonel Hogan?"

Hogan looked at him. "Yes, Carter?"

The young sergeant smiled innocently. "I knew you could bounce back. And welcome back, sir."

"Thank you, Carter," Hogan replied with a smile.

Carter then pulled the door closed behind him. Alone now, Hogan walked over to the window and opened it, staring out into the compound. He leaned his head against the window frame and wrapped his arms around himself. While he found it comforting that Carter believed he could bounce back from his ordeal, Hogan had no idea how much bouncing back he had done.

True, he did feel better once Henrik was dead because it meant he didn't have to worry about him coming after him again; and that was important and did go a long way, to him anyway. But for him to begin to feel safe again; that would take time. But what would take the longest to get over was what had happened in the woods and again in his quarters. He could and would recover from those incidents, but he would never forget. And no amount of time would ever erase it from his mind. He would just have to find a way to learn to live with what happened and make sure it never happened to him again.

_But can I live with what happened? And what if I can't? What happens to me then? What happens to my command? To my men? _Hogan let out a deep breath as his mind ran over everything that had happened the last few days, and there was one thing of which he was positive; he was still a bit afraid and had problems with any man putting a hand on him. Oh he was certain in time that would pass, at least he hoped so. But there was one thing that troubled him more than anything, and he wasn't certain whether he really wanted to know the answer. And that was did his men have anything to do with enabling him to shoot and kill Henrik. _Do I really want to know the truth? Could that have been what I interrupted in the changing room when I caught them talking? _

* * *

Kinch and Newkirk sat at the table drinking coffee while Carter sat on his bunk. LeBeau was puttering around the potbelly stove preparing breakfast.

"So what do you think?" asked Newkirk of Kinch.

"About what?"

"About the Gov'nor. You and Wilson were in Klink's office with 'im. How did he seem? I mean, did he seem okay? I mean really okay?"

Kinch shrugged. "If you mean if the colonel was hiding his true feelings?"

"Exactly."

Kinch mulled the question over for a few moments before he spoke. "I don't think so, Newkirk. In fact, the colonel's looked calmer than I've seen him in several days. Hopefully the worst is behind him and he can begin to get on with his life."

"Oui, so do I," LeBeau said over his shoulder without turning around. "I'd say the first step was him resuming his duties as Senior POW officer."

Newkirk lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "Well…" he said after exhaling a puff of smoke. "…I guess time will tell with the colonel, won't it?"

Just then the door to the colonel's private quarters opened and Hogan walked out, approaching the potbelly stove. He poured himself a half-cup of coffee. "How long before breakfast, LeBeau?' he said.

"I'm just waiting for the bacon to finish cooking, mon Colonel."

Hogan sensed he had interrupted a conversation by how quiet his men became when he appeared. He quietly sat down at the table. "Don't let me interrupt you talking about me," he said.

"We weren't talking 'bout you, sir," Newkirk quickly said; a bit too quickly as far as Hogan was concerned.

"Uh huh," Hogan murmured partially to himself. He took a drink of coffee. "Look, I know I've said this already but I'm gonna say it again hopefully for the last time. I won't pretend I'm completely over what happened because I'd be lying if I said I was. And I won't say I still won't flinch when someone puts their hand on me nor will I say I still won't have dreams about what happened. All I can say is that I hope, in time, these things will pass and things can get back to normal not only for me, but for all of us. Also, I know you all heard what Henrik threatened to do to me when he had me in the woods. All I ask is that you don't ask me to discuss it. I can't. Perhaps one day I'll be able to, but right now I'd rather not think about it. However, there is something that has been bothering me since last night."

"What's that, sir?" asked Newkirk.

"I know what you told me Kinch about distracting Henrik enabling me to shoot him. But something just doesn't seem right about it. I just can't put my finger on it."

Newkirk, Kinch and LeBeau all exchanged looks; Carter even looked up from where he sat on his bunk.

Newkirk shrugged his shoulders as he took another drag. "I don't know what else other than what Kinch told you we could add, Gov'nor," he said. "We had nothin' planned. How could we? We knew nothin' 'bout Henrik."

"I see," Hogan said. His eyes shifted to his second-in-command. "Kinch? Anything extra you want to add?"

"No, sir. I just saw an opportunity to distract Henrik and took it. That's all there was too it. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression there was more to it than there was."

Hogan didn't respond. He simply decided it was best if he just drop the entire thing; and didn't know the truth and leave it alone. Better not only for himself, but for his team as well.


	28. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

A month had gone by since Hogan had been raped in the woods and assaulted sexually in his quarters. Since that time the nightmares had become less and less frequent and now only occasionally reared their head; his fear had passed as well a few days after Henrik's death. Hogan still found himself tensing slightly at the touch of another male though not as he previously had, and he was still a bit nervous when a man came too close to him. But he hoped these too, would eventually pass. It took awhile for him to begin to feel safe again and no longer worry about anybody other than Major Hochstetter removing him from camp which he considered normal whenever there was unexplained sabotage in the area. Right now, Hogan knew how good he was feeling he owed not only to the faith and belief in him of his men, but in his own faith that he could get past what happened.

Today was warm and sunny; and Hogan was seated on the bench outside the barracks with his legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles, his arms folded, and his crush cap pulled down over his eyes enjoying the pleasant mid-day weather. To anyone looking at him he appeared to be asleep; but to those who looked closely, Hogan was taking in everything that was happening in the compound. He watched some of the men, including Newkirk and Carter, play volleyball; some playing catch with a baseball; and even those doing nothing more that sitting and reading a book or magazine. His injured arm had healed completely and only a slight scar would be a permanent reminder of his run-in with Henrik.

He didn't even move when the barracks door opened and Kinch walked outside, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Something up, Kinch?" Hogan inquired not looking up.

Kinch, watching the various activities, leaned against the wall of the barracks beside the end of the bench. "Nope. All's still quiet on London's end right now. How are you doing, Colonel?"

Hogan pushed his cap back on his head. "Better than I have in weeks, Kinch. To be honest, I never thought I'd ever feel this way again after that day in the woods and after what happened in my quarters."

"Don't remind yourself of that, sir. It's in the past and that's where it should stay."

"I know. But I can never forget what happened. It'll always be a part of me and I'll do whatever I have to do to make certain it never happens again."

Kinch hurriedly changed the subject as he grinned watching the volleyball game. "Who's winning?" he asked.

"Newkirk's team is leading by one point. Believe it or not thanks to Carter."

The barracks door opened again and LeBeau emerged; he sat down beside Hogan, putting one foot on the bench and resting an arm on his bent knee. "Lunch will soon be ready, mon Colonel. I just thought I would take a short break. It gets hot standing over the stove in warm weather."

"I'll have Kinch install air conditioning for you," Hogan quipped with a smirk.

"Ha,ha,ha," LeBeau said sarcastically as he got up and headed back inside not noticing the smirk Kinch had on his face watching him.

Alone again, Kinch looked down at his commander. "Colonel, can I ask you a serious question?"

Hogan looked up this time. "Sure. What did you want to ask me?"

Kinch rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, perhaps I have no right to ask this. But, have you ever thought about what you would've done if you had gone out alone to meet Night Owl, and found out it was Henrik?"

Hogan let out a deep breath as he mulled over the question. He had often wondered himself what would have happened if the scenario had been different. He stared at the men in the compound again.

"I never really gave it much thought, Kinch. But what I can tell you is that I would have tried to find a way to kill him before he raped me again. And if I couldn't, then I would have forced him to kill me before I allowed him to do what he had previously done to me. There's no way I was gonna let that bastard assault me again."

"We're just grateful it didn't come to that," Kinch replied sincerely. "At least the underground was able to dispose of Henrik's body and from what they've told me there's no connection between him and Stalag 13. In fact, there's no connection between him, Hans, Fritz and Reinhold or this camp. Seems the investigation into their disappearances indicates they deserted."

Hogan chuckled. "Couldn't happen to four nicer guys." He again turned his attention back to the volleyball game and saw Carter sprawl out on the ground, missing the ball.

"Right?" asked Kinch in agreement.

Hogan looked up at Kinch again. "Now let me ask you a question, Kinch."

"Sure," the radioman said not sure what his commander was going to ask.

"Did what happen to me bring back unpleasant memories or feelings for you?" The look on the colonel's face was that of genuine concern.

Kinch sighed, looking down at the ground for a long moment before returning Hogan's gaze. "In the beginning it did, sir. It was like I was thirteen again and watching it happen all over again."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You had no idea what had happened to me when I was a kid. There was no way you could have known."

"I know. I'm sorry what your uncle did to you; and I'm sorry you had to relive the entire ugly incident while trying to help me. But you were able to understand what I was going through better than anyone else because of it, and I will always be grateful."

"Glad I could help, Colonel."

"Just understand this, Kinch. My door is and will be always open to you or any of my men. But especially to you should you need to talk about the memories and pain my rape brought back to you. I promise whatever you tell me will stay between us."

"I might just do that should the need arise, Colonel," Kinch replied with a grin. "But you have to promise me something as well."

Hogan raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And what might that be?"

"Should you ever need to talk about your feelings my door is open to you as well."

Hogan chuckled. "You don't have a door, Kinch."

"Then I'll find a place we can talk privately if need be. You don't have to keep your feelings about what happened buried, y'know. Remember, you said it yourself. I understand what you went through better than anyone else."

"I know. And perhaps one day I might just call on you, but I just need more time. I'm just not ready to discuss it yet. But I can promise you should I need to, I will seek you out."

"That seems only fair, sir."

The opening of the barracks door interrupted their conversation. LeBeau poked his head out with a smile on his face. "Lunch is ready, gentlemen," he said before disappearing back inside, leaving the door open.

Hogan slowly got to his feet and clapped a hand on Kinch's shoulder. "After lunch, Kinch, what say you and I toss the football around."

Kinch smiled. "Sounds good to me, sir," he replied as Hogan allowed him to enter the barracks ahead of him. Hogan paused in the doorway and gazed out again at the compound. _It's so good to be back in control of my life. And I'll be damned if I ever let anybody take it away from me again._


End file.
